I'm sorry ..... (I'm having a moan)

Dear Sisters please forgive me... It has just occured to me at this time next week I will be there all preped & ready to go....
The problem is support... I'm having doubts about the support I will receive here at home, I had a real Cr*ppy day yesterday (Aunty Flo's due or is she ?? she's been gone 10 days so I'm sure it's time for another visit and the preceding cramp fairies are here) in fact I feel like poop (I'm so glad I didn't change my mind about the op). I get up this morning to take Daughter to work and the house look's like a bomb's gone off. Nothing has been moved since yesterday (I was feeling too yuk to do anything).
My hubby is a good man, he work's hard etc but where the house is concerned 'its womens work', he does hoover but thats about it (hoovering gives me cramps)
He has been more than understanding where'intimate' matters are concerned but to him no penetration also means no cuddles, hugs or anything. I just feel so low (pre menstral hormones perhaps)
He's not a 'bad man' just blooming lazy, the kids seem to take a leaf out of his book and its a case of 'good olde reliable mum will do it' but what about when mum is laid up for a few days..... I can see my home turning in to a tip.
I'm sorry for seeming so pathetic as I'm sure there are other ladies who have gone through this alone and coped quite well...... I'm sorry for venting..... I just needed to type to get it out my system (I'm sure you'll understand that) ... just give me a kick up the bum & tell me to get on with it.
Thanks for listening
Lesley xx

For what it's worth I don't find it pathetic at all. Men are men and they can't help or it, or want to help it. It's the y chromosone. I mean they blame lots on the x chromosone don't they? Hopefully he will realize what you are going thru at the right time. If not you kick him (or get someone else to) in the bum and tell him to snap out of it. A good ol "DUDE!" might do it.

Here it is...... your kick up the bum!! Sorry, just can't do it to you.

Have you sat your family down and explained how you are feeling and that you are a tad stressed? Maybe if they know how important things like a tidy house are to you and that it is their turn to give you some support. Seeing that you drive your daughter to work is incentive enough for her to return a favour or two I am sure.

Here's a suggestion:- test them with a 'dry run'. Go on strike for a couple of days (even one day would help you heaps) and put all the responsibility onto your family.

I am planning on typing lists for my husband and son (and making sure they read them before I go to hosp), and bribing them with the offer of freezing pre-cooked meals so that they don't have to worry about cooking. I can be pretty scarey too. The more organised that you can be, the easier that it is for them.

So cheer up lovely lady and get stuck into writing/typing lists, with a nice cuppa.

Hi ladies,
My first post, I'm having SAH on June 11 for large submucosal fibroid, can't wait! However, I do have the same concerns as 8legsnscales.. my DH, while a lovely and supportive man.. does not see dust bunnies, or dirty dishes, or weeds in garden, or rings around the tub, I've decided to give my house a major spring cleaning before I go in, I'm cooking a bunch of meals to put in the freezer and have asked that he at least keep up with the dishes, I'm going to do my best to "let go" of the dust bunnies (love me, love my dust) and if friends come to visit, I will simply blame any messes on him.. I'm sure my friends will come to see me, not the state of my home. I do think you need to sit your family down and talk with them, maybe show them some of the posts on here of Post op situations, and that will help them understand what life will be like. Bring out your inner princess, if no one does "your" work, fire the staff, lie in bed, drink a cuppa, read your trashiest novel, and watch the poor souls on daytime talk shows, and relaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx! Housework will always be there, your time to recover starts June 5, and that is the most important thing.. YOU!! (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Legs--can you take a vacation?

Seems like funny timing, I know, but can you take a couple of days and go somewhere just for you? No kids, no husband, no family, no job--just you and maybe a girlfriend?

Yes, nothing will get done and the house will be a wreck when you get back. Just call them all into the messiest room and tell them "Mom's not cleaning this up. Mom's done cleaning after you for the duration, in fact. Most of you (look sharply at Dad) are old enough to take care of all that. Look at this calendar. See the surgery date? See 8 weeks after the surgery? THAT's when Mom goes back to work. Until then, I expect you all to do your share. Dad, if you don't want to do it all yourself, you keep on them. Clear? Now, I'm having a bath. Don't come knocking on the bathroom door--for anything."

Oh, I hear you!!! I too thought I would spring clean the house, but I have 6 kids still at home and when I get one thing done and move to the next, they have already made a mess. I'm hoping that when the crunch comes they will do what they need to. If not, I have been told by so many people that I will feel sooo much better after my 6 weeks recouperation (but only if I take that 6 weeks to really recouperate) that I figure I can handle it all when I'm done. After all, it is only six weeks.

Has anyone noticed that I am trying to convince myself. Move over 8LegsNscales...TOM is here as well and I'm not feeling very positive. Wanna share a bottle of wine(whine)???

Liz

Moaning is alright! I'm a tad worried about things getting done too. Its so soon and am I prepared. I think the best thing i've done is call a cleaning lady to come in once a week for 3 weeks - NOT for a major clean, just a good tidying up. What would be better is 1 person for 1 hour twice a week! I know it will cost a little, but my sanity is worth $180!!! I can't believe what destruction can happen in a day though , even though my kids are older. Maybe I'll just lock myself in my bedroom so I don't have to see the rest of the house.
When we have a friend ask us what they can do for us - perhaps we should forego the meals and just ask them to come tidy the house for 20 minutes. There's a thought.
Keep the faith (or hand your DH the bill for a cleaning lady!!!) hehe

Nobody ever died from a dusty knicknack shelf.

You can't catch pneumonia from unfolded sheets or underwear that's just shoved into a drawer.

The occasional popcorn and pizza dinner will not cause them to die of malnutrition.

The house will not collapse from forks in the spoon section of the silverware drawer--or left in the drainboard until use, for that matter.

Reorder your priorities. Settle for clean if you can get neat and organized too.

Arlynn, you don't understand. I'm obsessive compulsive...all my cups have to be colour co-ordinated...they all have to sit in the cupboard in the same direction. Same goes for my towels in the linen closet. All my books have to be on the shelf according to author and if it is a series they have to be in numerical order....well, the list could go on.

I'm a lot better than I was, honestly, but I still have some quirks and they will bother me. Although I had to laugh at your post, because you are definitely right BUT what do you do when your MIL drops by and your house doesn't pass the 'white glove' test??? Now there is a horror story for you.

Liz

	Quote:
Originally Posted by autumnlady Arlynn, you don't understand. I'm obsessive compulsive...all my cups have to be colour co-ordinated...they all have to sit in the cupboard in the same direction. Same goes for my towels in the linen closet. All my books have to be on the shelf according to author and if it is a series they have to be in numerical order....well, the list could go on. I'm a lot better than I was, honestly, but I still have some quirks and they will bother me. Although I had to laugh at your post, because you are definitely right BUT what do you do when your MIL drops by and your house doesn't pass the 'white glove' test??? Now there is a horror story for you. Liz

I don't let her in.

So, okay, get the rooms you will see perfect, and don't leave them. Tell the kids they have to keep their doors closed until mommy is feeling better.

But all in all, you may need to see about help to get past that disorder, because you will need to learn to live with a degree of what you think of as "chaos" but the rest of your family just considers "life".

I always though o-c was about the worst thing to have, because LIFE is messy. Paranoia? Sure the universe is out to get you--and it will someday, so why worry? Multiple personality? Everyone needs someone to blame for their mistakes! But o-c? Uh-oh.

Heck, I'm happy just to get the cups INTO the cupboard.