Surgery schedules and I am having second thoughts....(kids mentioned)

My surgery is schedules for Sept 4th, and the closer it gets to date the more I second guess if I am doing the right thing.......

I have small kids, and very little support, help or understanding from anyone around me. My husband doesn't want to talk about it, my mom feels it is no big deal and I have no friends. My kids will be starting school before my surgery, but I feel bad that I won't be able to do for them for awhile after I have my surgery. My husband can barely care for himself, let a lone the kids, so I feel like I am being selfish in having the surgery because so many people count on me for their support. I am afraid to show just how terrified I am, because everyone around me views me as a strong person and really doesn't get how terrified I am over this. It just seems like there is so much to do before the surgery, and not enough time to prepare. I feel so scared and alone........

You are not alone. You have all the women here on your side. I'm sure someone will come along with situation similar to yours and offer some advice. Hugggsss! Hang in there. Things always have a way of working out.

There is no way that having this surgery is selfish! Just keep focused on the outcome. I'm only 1 week post-op and can already feel the improvement. I guess only you can evaluate whether the recovery will be worth it or not, but if there's a chance that things will only worsen over time then this might actually be the best time. Is there really no one who can help? I really feel that the surgery will ultimately help my family even though I'm out of commission for now.

Maybe you doctor can talk to your husband?

I just had surgery July 27th. I was pretty freaked out. It was painful, scary, and difficult. But that's not what's important. What is important is that I GOT THROUGH IT.

My husband is on call 24 hours a day and his days off are on the third Sat-Tue of every month. He is our only source of income.

I have two boys, 10 and 4. The only help available is my Mama....who is a recovering alcoholic with a lot of health issues including wearing a cathider at all times.

I have always had to take care of myself. ALWAYS. It's very difficult for me to not care for my "babies" the way that feels right for me. I cry over it.....often.

My first morning home after surgery I made breakfast for my boys. I felt like I had to. I felt guilty.

Here comes the good stuff....I shouldn't have made breakfast. I hurt myself. I made myself feel worse physically than emotionally. My babies hugged me up and loved on me. THATS the good stuff. Your babies are gonna love you anyway. No matter what. I discovered that when they saw me in pain, it wasn't such a bad thing. My oldest explained that they know how to care for me because I care for them.

They help me out by picking up after themselves. The rest of the house can suck it. Eff the house work. I run this house so it will have to wait for me to be healty. If your husband gives you hell for being "closed for repairs" then you can give him the finger and keep on keepin on.


If you need this to improve your quality of life then do it. It is only a short moment in your long life. Its a time of change. Maybe everything will change for the better, but it starts and ends with you doing what's best for you.


Now go out there and show em how strong and brave you are. You're the a woman......the strongest of human kind.