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depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
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06-22-2011, 05:34 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 18
Hysterectomy: May 10th, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
Hi, I had a total hysterectomy and now I feel I didn't have to take the ovaries out, one day before the surgery the Dr ask me to sign a consent form to remove the ovaries or not, he said I was almost 50 anyway and that ovarian cancer couldn't be detected etc etc. I told him there was no history of ovarian cancer in my family but he couldn't care less and I had to make up my mind right there and then.
I've been very stressed out ever since the surgery and the more I research about it the more upset I get. My skin is drying out really fast, not just my skin but my eyes I can hardly blink sometimes.
I'm on premarin and even with that the Dr didn't give me a choice, he just said there wasn't enough long term data on the side effects on bioidenticals , so it was either premarin or nothing at all. Big jerk, I don't even want to go and see him for the next check up,
my husband and kids are really fed up with me crying all the time and I'm getting fed up too.
Did I do the right thing?
Please someone...
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06-22-2011, 06:34 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 361
Hysterectomy: April 12th, 2011
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
Wheninbali, sorry to hear you feel the way you do. Please consider finding another DR to consult for your hormonal challenges. It is not unusual for a "traditional pharma" DR to not believe in bioidenticals. My GYN is a surgical genius, but we have agreed to disagree on the bioidenticals as I see another provider for my HRT. I did my own research and decided that bioidenticals were the right thing for me, even with a history of breast cancer in my family. My hysterectomy was pretty much without challenges, I'm not sure if that is because of the HRT I'm on or that I'm extremely lucky.
It is not too late to find another provider to consult to find out if bioidenticals are for you. There are so many options for HRT these days, you need to find a DR who's care and beliefs are something you can agree with. It is however too late to regret the removal of your ovaries. So don't dwell on what has been done, be your own health advocate and seek the help you need.
Good luck. Feel better!
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06-23-2011, 05:38 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 18
Hysterectomy: May 10th, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
Hi ShatziLKF,
Thank you so much for your reply and for your advice on HRT, can I ask you why are you taking it? are you happy with it?
I'll try to find another Dr. who is more open minded. How I wish I had done my homework before the hyst
What I need more help with is how to not regret taking the ovaries out, I can't find anyone in my same position, I guess is hard to find many people as stupid as myself.
Thank you again
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06-23-2011, 06:57 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 361
Hysterectomy: April 12th, 2011
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
Hi wheninbali, I was having assorted challenges last year- bloating (feet would blow up like they never had before), anxiety (I'd lay in bed thinking I was having a heart attack), insomnia, brain fog, dry cracking elbows & heels, to name a few. Initially I did not realize that all these symptoms could be related. I had been on oral contraceptives for years (they were supposedly keeping my fibroids from growing) and had been switched to one that reduced your periods to 4 a year. My body did not respond well to that pill and I found myself with a 6 month period the consistency of Cool Aid. Trying to reach my GYN at the time brought frustration, I knew I had to get off that pill but had no DR to want to listen to me.
Fast forward to dinner with a coworker from another state. She was looking the best I ever saw her, and I let her know it. She shared that she was having a host of "female" problems and had found a new DR who diagnosed it to be cortosol and estrogen related. Seems the belief amongst some DRs is that years of oral contraceptives can wreck havoc with your hormones, causing a menopause-like situation at any age. She was put on a regime of non-traditional & traditional HRT therapy and was saying she never felt better! She recommended I immediately seek out a provider near my home, as sometimes it takes months to get an appointment.
This got my interest and I searched out a bioidentical HRT provider in my area to find that one was just moving her practice to minutes from my home. DR could see me within days, it was my lucky day! She spent 2 hours with me that first appointment and ran bloodtests to see where my hormones were. My estrogen was low and my progesterone almost non-existant. I was started on a therapy of bioidentical hormone creams. The best thing was that my insurance covered both the DR and the prescriptions!
After 1 month on the program I was beginning to see improvement. My dose has been readjusted a few times based on blood tests and how I am feeling. So now 10 months later, we are still working on my hormone levels. Guess all the bleeding from the hysterectomy surgery often requires a "reset", my DR is working on finding a good balance for me again.
Please don't beat yourself up for the decision you made. I initially went into this journey thinking "have it all removed, less to get cancer later". It was only through my DR's (a new GYN!) recommendation and this website (scared me to death regarding removing my cervix) that I changed my mind. I still have my ovaries but they aren't working very well. Who knew that could happen?
And let me share some great side-effects of the HRT: my skin has never been better! At first I got comments from friends wanting to know if I switched skincare (I didn't). My libido is back, and I didn't realize it had been lost. I started dating someone I had dated 20 years ago and feel like we are in our 20's again. We kept in touch through all the years, more so after he divorced a few years back. I never looked at it as more then friends...until this year. Was it the HRT? Might have been. And like I said in my first post to you, I had none of the challenges I read about on this website after my hysterectomy which could be luck or it could be the HRT.
Please find yourself a DR with a more open mind to HRT. There are so many options out there. Regardless of your ovaries. You just need to find a provider who is willing to listen to you and work with you. You can feel better!
Good luck!
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06-23-2011, 05:49 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 18
Hysterectomy: May 10th, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
thank you so much for your reply, it's the first time I hear of someone not complaining of dry skin, I'm so happy for you and can't hardly wait to find a Dr who can understand.
Maybe I'm bringing this unto myself because I'm so upset about the ovaries. My daughter made me snap out of it the other day telling me how I shouldn't ruin her last couple of months together before she goes to college, so I try to appear more cheerful in front of everyone but the truth is I still feel very miserable I can't help it, every morning as soon as I wake up my chest feels heavy with sadness and regret, I wish I could just forget about the whole thing and move on but how do you do that?
It's so hard
Your words do reassure me and really thank you for taking the time to tell me your story, I see now that there is hope for a normal life on the dreaded hrt.
Do you know of any case similar to mine that has recovered her peace of mind?(if ever). I have read a few other threads of women that after years and years of removing their ovaries go on regretting it and feeling bad, I don't want to be like that.
Again thank you
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06-23-2011, 06:48 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 361
Hysterectomy: April 12th, 2011
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
Wheninbali- sometimes things just don't turn out as we expected. I never expected many of the things that have happened to me in my life. But it is what it is (boy, I hate that saying!). We have to deal the hand we're dealt (don't hate that saying as much) and do our best. The only thing you have control of is how you react to not having your ovaries. Granted, it is challenging due to the hormone fluctuations that are most likely contributing to how you are feeling. Keep that in mind and please don't be so hard on yourself.
I have a friend who had a total hysterectomy in her 30's and says it's the best thing she ever did. One of my business associates (who is known to be cranky) lit up when I said I was recovering from a hysterectomy and exclaimed "it's the best thing I ever did!" referring to her TAH. Truthfully, I have had more positive comments from women who have had total hysterectomies (funny what is shared amongst women!) then I would ever have expected. It seems to have been more common to "have it all removed" then not, that all these choices in types of surgery and what to remove have been growing just over the last decade. I had only one negative story shared from someone who had a TAH, but her regret was sex-related. I tried to open up her mind to HRT, but her personality is not one of a go-getter, I could tell she didn't want to hear it.
We've got to go and seek to get the outcome we want and become our own health advocate! Find a DR who's care we can believe in, who wants to find the cause and not just treat the symptoms. Or multiple DRs if necessary. (Remember, I have a surgically-acclaimed GYN and a HRT provider. They are not the same.)
Oh, as for the dry skin...my heels used to be so rough, even with lotion that I actually wore holes in my sheets where my feet lay. This is my first full summer with non-cracking heels (and elbows). Hard to believe they actually do make lotions that work! But this is the "new" me and it didn't happen overnight. And don't forget, I have my ovaries. They wore out before their time. Who knows, maybe your's would have too. That's the beauty of HRT, it can help us turn back the hands of time!
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06-23-2011, 06:57 PM
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Posts: 11,663
Hysterectomy: November 24th, 2008
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
wheninbali -
I am sorry you are feeling regret. But as has been said don't beat yourself up over what you can't change. Yes, you do need to feel the grief but don't let it control you.
There are many women here who didn't think it would make a difference to have their ovaries removed and there are many here who kept them but had them shut down or need some hrt boost after surgery. There are also those like me that due to a cancer dx would have loved to keep them but the gyn-onc wouldn't let me.
I recommend running from that Dr. and finding another one. I've done a ton of Dr. shopping since my hyster and feel I am in much better hands now than I was before my surgery.
We are not all the same and you need to have someone who is actively listening to your symptoms and working with you to find the balance that you need.
The question you should try to focus on is not "did I do the right thing"? Yes, with the information that you had at the time and the Dr. that you had you did the right thing.
Turn your attention to "how can I improve my current situation?"
You are also fairly early in your recovery. Initial recovery is 2/4 to 6/8 weeks with full recovery going 6 months to a year. So things are still settling in.
G
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06-23-2011, 07:38 PM
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Posts: 12,392
Hysterectomy: October 15th, 2009
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
My ovaries are gone due to cancer staging. I wish I'd kept them but too late, gone now. How to move on? I think it takes time and I think it's easier with balanced hormones. Get another Dr to help you. Consider talking to a counsellor later if you still need help moving on. I think it's hard not to have regrets when you're still in hormone hell. You did what seemed right at the time. Sometimes I have to think just why I did it and the reasoning at the time, and remember that I did the best I could with the info I had. I hope you can get better hormone help, and that will probably make the decision easier to live with. I hope you can find peace soon.
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06-24-2011, 06:25 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 133
Hysterectomy: April 11th, 2011
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
If it makes you feel any better ....
A woman's ovaries do continue to release hormones throughout her life, even post-menopause, and that has some health benefits.
That said, keeping your ovaries post-hyst doesn't always help all that much since they often shut down anyhow. And, ovarian cancer is very difficult to detect before it is a problem. The 5 year survival rate for ovarian cancer is only about 30% -- a study just came out a few weeks ago that said the current drugs don't help all that much and it tends to spread. Hormonal side-effects from removing them are fairly easily resolved with HRT and vitamins (take D, calcium and evening primrose oil).
I'm taking premarin as well. My doc didn't want me on progesterone yet, so my estrogen-only choices were premarin or a bio-identical patch and I didn't want the patch. I started on 0.3mg, but that didn't help much so my doctor doubled me to 0.6mg. It has really completely resolved all of my issues (hair loss, no sleep, dry skin, rashes)
Since I'm happy on it for now, I'm going to stick with premarin for 6 months to a year and will then consider bio-identicals if it seems like I need a change.
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06-24-2011, 06:48 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 18
Hysterectomy: May 10th, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: depressed and angry, did i do the right thing?
Dear Ladies,
This morning reading all your messages really put me in tears, but tears of happiness this time , you have all really made me see how I have been torturing myself over something that can't be changed if only for the better right?
What you all mention about making my decision based on the circumstances at the time really makes sense, I will start working on that everyday from now on.
I'll try to find a DR that can understand and move on with life.
I can't believe it's me saying all this after almost two months of going around feeling miserable .
I want to thank you all really with all my heart for helping me out, if it wasn't for your kind words of advice and reassurance I probably would have ended up at the nearest mental institution.
You have helped me see things the way they really are and I couldn't have done that without your help, I wish you all the best in life, speedy recoveries and happiness always, you deserve it so much,
Thank you, thank you, thank you so very much
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