How Do You Handle????

How do you handle fellow employees who call asking you to go out to lunch with them? Also if they call and you don't answer, whether you just don't want to or might be outside, or something.....not gone loafing....but that's what they think!!! Also how would you handle maybe going away for a few days (while the dr has you out of medical leave) prior to returning to work without having to face the questioning of fellow employees/employer of "seems, like if you were well enough for a trip, you could work????"

I understand what you mean. My principal called today and I debated about answering the phone. I was not sure I wanted to talk but then answered because I did not want to give the impression I was not home. I did answer and spoke with him but did not want to give the impression that I was really healthy. We are going on vacation on the 4th and my mother made the suggestion of staying off until after vacation. I thought about it but feel guilty because I am away. However, I would just be relaxing and healing on the beach. Does it matter if you rest and relax at home or on the beach??? I say relax on the beach!

You don't have to tell your work that you went away - I would not. As far as fellow employees who want to go to lunch, it would not be inaccurate to say that you must follow doctor's orders and rest, rest, rest.

Tell them you have good days and bad days, some days you may feel up to it and others you don't. It's true, and sometimes when my co-workers called I have been 'resting' or out trying to do a walk. You should never feel obligated, its them wanting to check on you and feel like they are supporting you. And sometimes you can't handle it, I put off one girl for 4 days before I was up to her coming by and she was very understanding.

I work at a spa and my haircolor girl, haircut guy and massage therapist all work there so I have been there 4 times since my surgery. Everyone has been very good about knowing that although I am having some appointments I am by no means ready to stand up and work, just by looking at me. If they say "you look good" I follow up with a sarcastic"smoke and mirrors!".

People who know you will know the difference and those who don't ..well...too bad! Trust your body, I have been mid conversation and had to sit down or say I need to go lie down if I am on the phone. Don't be afraid to be honest.

As for travel, resting is resting no matter where you are-it's not working.

As for the lunch invitations, tell them you've made other plans, or you're really not up to it and would like to rest. If you don't feel like answering the telephone, then don't. Whenever you do talk to them, just say you were asleep and had the ringer on the phone turned off. Don't mention anything about going away for a few days. It's nobody's business anyway.

Good luck to you!

Carol

If you would like to go to the lunch go, as long as you don't drive and its not very far and you arent out to long. Sitting for long periods was the hardest for me.
If I didnt answer the phone my co workers assumed I was resting and had turned the ringers off. This is what I do even if I'm home with an illness.
As for vacation. If you aren't lifting, driving, or doing anything you shouldn't be then go for it.
Even when you WANT to go back to work if you aren't released your not legally able to go back. Should a complication arise and you have gone back too soon your insurance will not cover it. So go enjoy your vacation. Just rest in a shady spot so you don't get too much sun.

I think the "good days, bad days" reality doesn't mean anything to anyone unless they've been in a similar situation. I've had some super tired days lately, and I mentioned after one or two of them that I may have overdone it post-surgery, and my daughter was like, "Come on, Mom. You had your surgery weeks ago!" I think the world in general responds that way.

you either work with really nice people or they are really nosey! You are not at work because you are healing. going to lunch with non-co-workers was one of the most healing things I did! And I definately think that everyone heals better at the beach! Whenever my teenagers asked me to do some type of chore for them, I just said "gee, I'm sorry--I'm not allowed to do that yet"--worked like a charm!!!


TAH/BSO 4/3/08

I do have a couple of really, really good friends at work, but the majority would be considered nice, but somewhat questionable as far as just "checking on me!" One day this week one of my close elderly friends came and took me to lunch and even though I was tired when I returned, it was MENTALLY relaxing...good to get of the house! My husband is now talking of going to beach before my return to work...really want to go, but kinda afraid someone from work would find out and cause a problem because they would think that is not "LEGAL" for medical leave purposes , but I would think it is also! Maybe I could get my dr to put in writing next week when I go back for 4 1/2 week post-op visit!

I went when my friends and coworkers called - I am 1000 miles from any family and I found I was sad, lonely and very frustrated after surgery...The outings helped me heal and gave me moments of "normal" They knew I wasn't ready to be at work as I was barely able to function after sitting for an hour or two over dinner...and it's ok for someone to say "you look good" my response was always "thanks - I'm working on it!!" Just because you can manage a dinner out doesn't mean you are neccessarily ready to head back to work! You're smart friends and coworkers know that! Plus it is actually a smart move to go on multiple short outings towards the middle of your recovery time so you can slowly build up endurance so when you go back to work you are ready!
Trish