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insomnia, nightmares, stress. insomnia, nightmares, stress.

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Unread 08-28-2010, 06:53 AM
insomnia, nightmares, stress.

I dont even have a surgery date yet, and I think thats why im stressing so much. I have nightmares of shaving my head and being hooked up to needles and I dont even know if I will have to have Chemo. And if 1 more person tells me to be positive Im gonna scream . Im trying to be positive but with dreams and worries its really hard.
Ive read lots of your comments and Im so happy that you all are getting on fine after surgery, But I still dont have a date and keep wondering how long is this going to be inside me causing more damage.
scared, worried, stressed, tired.
I dont know if Im coming or going anymore
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Unread 08-28-2010, 07:02 AM
Re: insomnia, nightmares, stress.

Please talk to your doctor about the anxiety you are having. He/she may be able to help calm your fears with either talking to you about the surgery or prescribing meds until afterward. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Unread 08-28-2010, 12:17 PM
Re: insomnia, nightmares, stress.

I know exactly how you feel. I was a nervous wreck when I found out I had cancer. I was just going to have a pap to get more birth control pills. I'm only 35 just got married and hadn't had children. I felt like I was in another world, living someone else's life. I could barely eat or sleep before surgery. Nobody knows how it feels to get the cancer diagnosis unless you have been there too. Everyone around you tells you its going to be fine but you can't help but fear the unknown. I was angry with my husband for being too positive, I felt like he wasn't worried about me. One day I overheard him on the phone saying how guilty he felt for always telling me I was going to be fine, he didn't know what to do to help me. I realized he was trying to stay positive around me to give me strength but he was a mess inside.

What helped me pass the time before surgery was just getting out of the house keeping my mind occupied. I went to the beach, zoo, museums, fair, even a cancer support group I found at church. The doc saw I was a mess and gave me Ambien and klonopin. It helped enough so I could sleep and eat. The worst part is not knowing how far the cancer spread. Waiting for the pathology report. The surgery itself wasn't as bad as I had imagined. I didn't realise they get you walking the next day. I even got to take a shower and eat normal food right away.

One good thing that came out of all this for me was a new view on life. I would waste time being depressed or down on myself. Now I realize and appreciate what a great life I have. My relationships with my husband, sister, family and friends have
grown so much stronger. It sounds weird but I needed a slap in the face to open my eyes.

I hope you get a surgery date soon so you can put all this drama behind you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers too.
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Unread 08-28-2010, 02:54 PM
Re: insomnia, nightmares, stress.

I'm so sorry you are having such a rough go of it right now. I think it's completely understandable to be experiencing all of those emotions -- it IS scary!

Have you given any thought to speaking to some sort of counselor or therapist? I often think it can be really helpful to be able to talk through everything with an unbiased, trained professional. They're great at listening and can teach you some valuable coping skills and relaxation techniques.

I won't tell you to be positive -- don't want to make you scream! But, I do agree that keeping as busy as possible and keeping your mind occupied helps. The less free time your mind has to go to those dark places, the better.

I'm sending lots of hugs your way! I hope things get easier for you and that you get your surgery date soon!
Unread 08-31-2010, 07:39 AM
Re: insomnia, nightmares, stress.

thanks ladies, I have made an appt with my dr to se if i can get something to help me ,

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