My husband is losing it

My husband has been beyond wonderful. My recovery will be longer then most because of extensive work. He is fine with this and does everything. I am not cleared to drive and most likely won't be for several weeks.

Here's the problem. He has informed me that he plans to have a knee replacement in January. He had surgery a few years ago on it. The reason? Because it hurts. He does not limp and is incredibly active, gym, walks, bike, golf etc. Then he tells me that he is also having surgery on the other knee although he has not even seen a doc. about it. Same with shoulder surgery he wants. Again undiagnosed. He says it hurts. He wants surgery on all 3.

What the heck do you think is going on with him? I'm at a loss. He is 55. Things are going to start to hurt!

This has added some stress to my recovery for sure although I just say ok, whatever you want.

First off, his knee could hurt and him not limp but it could be a torn meniscus! Doctors will not replace a knee unless its too far gone...reason is artificial knees only last 10-15 years each!

Until he is diagnosed ... humor him and stroke his ego a bit. Praise him for the little things he does. Sounds like he's looking for TLC and praise more than actually needing surgery!

He may need it to. Who knows but get him into an orthopedic surgeon whose got a good reputation!

As women we do the wonder woman thing without praise. Men need the praise and attention. Don't stress over it. Just be sympathetic and let it run its course.

Good luck!

Julie

If he doesn't really need it, a competent ortho Dr won't do it. Also, my family member was told doing both knees at the same time meant a stay in a rehab/nursing facility so I don't know how that would play out. Maybe it hurts more than he has let on? But I think you need joint problems seen on scans to qualify for surgery, not just pain. Just go with it and see what the Dr says. Maybe he has been stoic and wants relief and recognition of his pain, is one possibility. I hope he doesn't need surgeries.