post-op inspection: frustrated, furious, puzzled - long post

Dear Ladies!
On Monday I went for my post-op. As I have heard in the hospital that they didn't remove all endometriosis I was prepared to talk about the then mentioned bowel resection.
I was however definitely not prepared for what happened then.
My doc asked me only how my belly was doing and I said that it was a pulling feeling when I made strange movements and that I didn't use medication. I also told him that I haven't done too much gymnastics and no badminton yet as I wanted to wait for this meeting. He told me first that I was not supposed to feel any pain and secondly that I should be doing everything by now (5 and a half weeks) and that it would not be getting any better than it was now.
I was utterly perplexed and confused. I felt like I was doing something wrong, that I haven't moved enough and that I was lazy and overly pampering myself. I was able to ask him what he really did inside me as I have not seen the report and we only briefly talked on the phone before. His answer was if I wanted to see some pictures. So he showed me some, that was that.
I asked what needed to be done about the still remaining endo at the bowel and he now told me that nothing needed to be done and that the surgery would be too big a deal for such a small cell conglomerat, but it is already growing into the bowel so it can't be that simple. I then had to hop onto the chair and he did an ultrasound. He didn't touch me, just kept on looking at his monitor and stirring this thing inside of me. I felt so hurt and embarrassed I can't even begin to feel it entirely. I didn't express any pain but he wouldn't have cared anyways, I think.
While getting dressed again I found the words to ask if I could have a bowel obstruction and he told me no, no way. But, why on earth did they tell me before then that this needed to be removed?
Also in the op-report there is nothing mentioned about the remaining endo, it actually says that all endo has been removed. I don't understand a thing. The doc in the end told me I could come back if I had a complaint - I feel like a repaired car.
This was so devastating and I am confused, feel violated and hurt. He simply wanted me to get out as soon as possible and wanted to move on to the next broken car.
Now I am not sure what to do. I started to bleed a little for the first time after surgery, it is dark blood and not too much but since Monday. I notice that I am already pushing everything aside and start to not feel anything that is going on in my body as I used to do for years.
Now that I write all this the tears are just starting to flow..... how can this happen to me again and again? I have no man in my life and then there is this doc who manages to violate me again. It is just scary!
Sorry for writing this much and thanks for reading.
Love for all of you and I just hope that none of you experienced something similar - Elena

Boy I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I also am single and went through a lot of problems after my surgery with different doctors. First, get all of your reports from the doctor. Usually you have to sign a form to get them released. Do you have another doc who had said the endo needed to be removed? If so, go back to that one with your reports and ask whether they got all the endo. Having it on your bowel, can cause a lot of problems. I know that happened to me. And as for the doc saying you should be doing everything, that is a bunch of BS!!! Let me tell you, it took me months before I could do most of what I did before. And then I kept getting ill and having all kinds of problems. If I looked at all my problems, it took me well over 1 1/2 years before I began to feel better. Unfortunately a lot of docs can be total idiots when it comes to bedside manner. I had a great surgeon with the bedside manner of a slug. You may need to see an endo specialist also. Sending hugs

Thanks so much for your answer, it is soo good to know that I am not alone in this all!
Slug is the right word, for my surgeon also. I don't understand why they even treat human beings when they don't like them.
Unfortunately this slug is the endo specialist in the area. I don't really know what to do, some friends told me I should definitely get a second opinion but right now I am just fed up with the whole situation. The next specialist is pretty far away, I don't really know if I should go there. I will maybe go see a new ob/gyn first as my old one is no longer available. Hopefully he will be able to shed some light on this whole mess. I guess I should not just forget the whole thing that is potentially growing inside of me although I would love to just do that.
Well, thanks again and have a wonderful weekend
Love - Elena

I am so sorry that you had to go through that! I totally agree that you should get a second opinion from another doctor, with more empathy & understanding. Hang in there. Warm HUGS & blessings to you.