need advice on my husband

I need some advice on my husband...I am scheduled for Thursday and everytime I try to talk to him about the LAVH, he says oh it will be okay. I am addicted to Chapstick and asked him, please when I wake up in recovery to put Chapstick on me...you know what he said well you will be awake you can put it on. I'm beginning to think I may have alot to do at home on my own. All my family is in another state, I am stressing now more than ever...HELP SISTERS

Relax. Your mind is everywhere now, mine was also. Thins will fall into place. Men deal w/things a lot dif. then we do. Maybe he is stressed and scared also. Tell him you are really going to need him. Maybe ask your doctor to talk to him, when he/she gives report after surgery about what you can and can not do. Sometimes it might take the doctor giving him the order and telling him you can't for him to see. Also,when you wake up he will see you are going to be needing help. Good luck and relax. I thought the same but mine came through, I was surprised.

I have a feeling he's thinking, hon when you wake up in recovery, chapstick is going to be the last thing on your mind. And he may very well be right.

Actually I can relate. I hate to have a dry mouth or lips. I remember another surgery when my friend put lemon swabs in my mouth; it was so nice. It's so true that men are way different when it comes to this stuff. All you can really do is ask him to do stuff for you. Make sure you've got some frozen meals in the freezer, that the house is already clean when you go in, and have reading materials or movies or whatever handy.

I was able to shower myself, dress myself, and I guess I could have heated up something to eat if I'd had to, but I did need help with shopping, cooking, and house cleaning. Keep in mind we're not even supposed to bend and lift casserole dishes out of the oven.

I wonder if it would help to print the hysterectomy checkpoints this site provides, and let him see what you can and can't do. I also agree that it would be a good idea for your doc to let him know that you're going to need to be taken care of for awhile. Whatever you do, please don't overdo it in order to appease your DH, it's not worth it and when we overdo we can pay a big price. Good luck hon, wish I were there to fluff your pillow for you.

Many people, myself included, deal with medical issues in different ways. If you asked me about the chapstick, it would kind of freak me out to think that you wouldn't even be able to manage something so simple. It's hard to imagine those we love being that incapacitated and the reality is that you probably won't be. Just my advice, but try not to scare him about it but just let him know that you'll need some help with some things. I was able to get around just fine, although slowly, the day after my surgery. I adhered to my dr's restrictions regarding lifting and stuff, but other than needing to rest a lot, I was in pretty darn good shape. I really think it helps for husbands to be part of the pre-op visit and hear about the surgery from the dr., but sometimes that's not possible. Try not to stress over it though. You'll be just fine and applying your own chapstick with no problem.

I know it's not quite the same thing, but when I was expecting my son, my husband didn't want to discuss anything, and dreaded being in the delivery room because he couldn't stand to see me in pain. Well, he was a real trooper the day of the delivery and it was his support that got me through a very difficult delivery. It may be that your husband will be the same.
I also think many people view "women's issues" as less serious. As if the surgery will be less painful just because it was done to remove the uterus. I don't know why that is, but it's still surgery.

they have video illustrations on You Tube... that might get his attention, lol! JK, don't do that, they make me light headed.

He'll get his act together! *hugs*

husbands don't deal...they bury their heads. have your chapstick at hand and hopefully he will know he has to help. I myself like Carmex, thanks for the reminder I will make sure I have that. I don't think they know what they are doing. I think they do hide because their fear is more than they can handle. Mine left me in the hospital both times my kids were born first time I was very sick and scared, had my tubes tied he had to go get a drink. when I had Septoplasty (very simple sinus surgery) he had to make sure he had a boo boo that others noticed-they need attention we don't, we are strong and we can do it..we aren't alone.

Lol, something weird just occurred to me. If by any chance they give you oxygen after your surgery (sometimes they do and sometimes they don't), but if they do, you won't be able to use chapstick, because it's made with petroleum and you can't have that near the oxygen. I'm not positive about chaptstick, I know vaseline has it. At any rate, my hospital had some lip stuff that doesn't have petroleum, and there are various ones in the stores, like Burt's Bees, that don't have it. I have a feeling you will be just fine, big hugs and wishes for a comfy healing to you!