can I vent please?!

someone please tell me I was adopted!!! I'm having a TVH or a TAH ( he's not sure which until he gets in there) on nov. 5. I'm 34 and thankfully done having children. So, I anwser the phone and it's my mother and I think she must be calling to see how my consultation went BUT she doesn't bring it up so after hearing about her *garden* for 30minutes I finally tell her what he said and she says "Oh,really,well Loraine had one and...yadayada yada...she never came back to me!!! then when I tell my mil SHE says "I think dad and I are out of town for a convention that week" then when she finds out it's the weekend before all of a sudden she thinks it's soooo important to be here and help with the kids because afterall this is such a big day for me!!!!???

HELLOOOOO!!!!! did I miss something? am I having a tonsilectomy or a wart removed and I just THINK I'm having a major surgery here!!?? O.K. sorry, I just had to get that out! thank god I have a wonderful loving hubby.

thanx for listening, I'm done felling sorry for myself now! have a great day sisters...

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Whew. I feel better now too. LOL

Missy

crampella

Sounds like you just had your first "Hyster Twister"...and there most likely will be more to come!! But, don't feel bad...we all have them at one point or another...in one form or another.

Take a deep breath...and focus on preparing yourself. What a blessing to have a DH who is there for you! I do, too!

Many people just don't know what to say, or how to say it at times like these, so they come off as being very nonchalant or unconcerned. Lots of the sisters here have experienced it either from family members or friends or co-workers.

You will find all the support and compassion here and so much info! The sisters here are wonderful!

Blessings,
Dianne

WOW! You sound just like me! Although, I had lots of support from my mother and family. BUT, shall we talk about the inlaws! When I finely decided to tell my MIL ( I didn't want to tell her, but DH thought it was best), my exact words were "I have something to tell you, but you cant tell anyone else". OK, so as I was telling her, she got this twisted look on her face, like she was smelling a skunk, and said "what, are you sure? " And I said yes, then I went thru all the problems and such then she says. Well do you think this is really fair to Mike (my DH)? Now he will never have a child that is his. Then she says, Well I guess I will never have a grandson. I could have pinched her head off when she said that! Now, all my DH family thinks I had my surgery because I didnt want to "Give Mike any children". It just goes to show the ignorance of some people.

Im sure all will go well, and good luck!

Crampella;

I was adopted. It doesn't help. Even adopted parents are nuts sometimes. The only advantage I have is that when my mom gets really bizaar I can remind my husband; "I'm adopted, I didn't inherit her genes."

Gosh I am sorry.But don't apologize. Pity Parties are necessary to our sanity and every one of us will have one at least 20 times before our surgery. Well, except for me of course, I am, like so totally sane.


Yeah Right!

Hang in there sweetheart.


Dilu

Remember...people, as a general rule, get totally wrapped up in themselves and their own problems. It's totally unreasonable for us to think that our problems could ever be important enough for them to totally focus on what WE need for a short while. Did that sound cynical?

Well, it may....my mom couldn't come and stay because my dad didn't want her to. They live several states away. Dad needs her there. She can't even talk on the phone to me for 30 minutes without him needing to talk to her about something or go somewhere with him.

I've pretty much given up depending on much of anyone for much of anything.

s
Cat

Hey, I agree with Dilu.......I too am adopted.....it doesn't help!!! I also get to say....."those are NOT my genes!!!!" As far as the feelings you are having......I posted earlier today and I too am having my official hyster-twister!!!!!!

WE WILL SURVIVE....we just have to overlook all the idiots in the world!!! INCLUDING family!!!


Ronda

I think you're right...people sometimes say weird things because they just don't know what else to say. When my DR first told me I needed this surgery I went straight to my mom's house for a cup of coffee and conversation. I know from experience (55+ yrs of it!) that this was a BAD idea, but she was there and I really wanted my mommy at the moment. Her comments were cool, and when I asked about staying at their house immediately afterward she was noncommittal. Oh, well. Two months later when I knew I would have the surgery but didn't have a solid date yet she told me that Nov was going into their busy time at their shop and she really didn't know if she'd be able to help. Again, and this time out loud, I said Oh, well. This past Sunday night while having dinner with them she suggested I stay at their house for a week when I leave the castle, that it would work out well for everyone. I nearly fell out of my chair. She's being so sweet...but this is how it goes. Each time I try to explain any details, after they ask a direct question, Mom interrupts with details of something that happened to one of her friends. Oh...she DID tell me about all the horror stories of her view of staying in a hospital. Gee, thanks. I know in my heart that she really means well...but my ears and my brain dispute that...and often!! <grin>

glad to know I'm not the only one this has happened to! that helps!

I hear you! To combat the people I knew had the potential to be jerks I told everyone at my job not to visit me in the hospital because I didn't want to be nice to anyone if I didn't have to! Luckily my family is in Connecticut and I live in Alaska. No chance of a family visit there. I corresponded with them via email which suited me just fine.

Now I find that people (neighbors) who know I was in the hospital but don't know the procedure are curious. I just smile and tell them I'm feeling fine even though I am tired and grumpy and in my pajamas at 3:00 in the afternoon.

Hang in there People are people and love to hear more about themselves than you. Glad for you that your DH is so wonderful. Mine is too and he still managed to get on my nerves. Bless him it wasn't his fault....he just can't understand or feel the physical and emotional pain that we have to overcome.

I wish a smooth surgery and blissful recovery.