From happy to depressed

Hello ladies, not sure if this is the right board or not but if I have got it wrong please forgive me. On thursday when the doc finally added me to his waiting list (date to follow as soon as I get it) I was on top of the world, as far as I was concerned it couldn't come fast enough. Today I find myself totally down and acting like the ***** from hell. I should still be jumping for joy that there is finally light at the end of a very long tunnel, finished last shift at work for 7 weeks as I am going out to see my husband in Texas yet I find myself just wanting to cry my eyes out, stamp my feet and scream like a 2yr old having a tantrum. I was wondering if it was possibly because I've never had children (only 2 early miscarriages 10yrs apart) and only now is it begining to sink in that I never will.

Sorry for rambling and thanks to all who take the time to listen.

Anne
missmenthol

First off :hugs

I too finally have a date-11/3 and was very happy at first. The past few days, I've been feeling progressively more down. I think it's just part of the journey. You are losing a part of yourself, you must grieve that loss at some point. It's amazing to me as I have been so miserable the past few months during my periods and testing that I really thought I would be totally fine with having mytvh. Well, I'm not. I think I will be eventually...but I'm just not there yet.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I think this is a normal way to feel...even if we didn't expect it.

So when is your date?

denise

Hi Anne, Many, perhaps most women, can experience an emotional rollar coaster before their surgery. Waiting can be very hard and many thoughts can and will come to mind. I found that learning more about the operation, hospital stay, the experiences of other women, etc. helped my nerves as well as mood swings, of course we all are different and this may or may not help. If you have not found them yet you may want to peruse the pre-op articles and possible take a peak at the post op ones too:
https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/hsl...s=&forumid=170
https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/hsl...s=&forumid=171
Hopefully being with your DH will help although some hubbies, wrapped up in their own fears re our surgeries, may even seem distant. Sometimes just coming here to express feelings or vent with "sisters" in similar situations can prove most comforting. Please let us know how you are doing.
s, peggiesue

Thank you both for taking the time out to reply, it has been much appreciated. Feeling a lot better now after reading your posts and spending a little time with a couple of friends who didn't know until tonight what was going on. Unfortunately will not get a date before my next visit to the docs on the 25th Nov but as I said as soon as I now I will post it on my profile. Once again thank you for caring enough to reply.

Hugs

Anne

Hi Anne,
I too have gone through what you are going through. I tried for 3 years to have this done and as I was signing the papers it hit me....

I was told at 21 I would never get pregnant. That finally hit home when i was about 23, I gave up trying. Went to dr for funny symptoms at 24, and she told me I was pregnant. I laughed and cried and thought "Oh time to get a new dr, thats not funny!!" Well a couple months later, sure enough, she knew what she was talking about. I have tried unsuccessfully for almost 12 years to perform that miracle again! When we first moved back to Saskatchewan, I went to an endo specialist who did a lap. My cramps were so bad...and getting worse. She found nothing but happy organs. She felt I had a hormone imbalance (Hmmm, maybe the same one that they found when they told me I couldnt have kids??) and told me to try really hard the next 6 months to get pregnant. I went to a Gyn here who put me on hormone drugs, and my eggs ballooned to a huge size. Didnt do that again. Just tried the plain old fashioned way....

I take 2000 mg Ibu every day for about 4 days when I get my period. I need to stop that as I have a son who is 12 and a half. I am kidney failure waiting to happen. I am not ever going to hear those magic words.....That is very hard to deal with!

However I need to look at the positive side. Just found out my 6th step grandchild was born on Monday!! Another lil boy....Plus I have 4 step kids....All wonderful and mine! And lots of friends planning familys or have lil ones to spoil....I have a full family, and a full life....It still hurts....
Kat

Hey girl let me say what you are feeling is normal. I also have hed the same feelings. I know not being able to have children is very hard to deal with . I myself was so lucky to have 3 little girls and wpuld change that for the world. But my Mother was unable to have children ( I was adobted) so I have talk to her about how it made her feel so I know it is difficult. But we all all here to talk to about you are feeling and to you through this. By the way I am having a TVH Oct.5th. So I wanted to wish you luck through it all.

s
Crystal

I would like to thank you all for taking the time to respond, your words have all been extremely understanding and helpful.

Best wishes for tomorrow kat, will pray everything goes well for you and look forward to have the chance to get to know you better when you return home

Once again thank you all for helping convert me back to the happier frame of mind I mislaid for a while.

s

Anne

Hi there

I, too, am having the same feelings. Reading all the posts have really helped me. I will be praying for your depression and upcoming surgery.

::

God Bless your grieving heart Anne. I do pray for your heart to heal and that your surgery brings you to a healthier you. Your in my thoughts with much love sister.

hugs,

Mich