straight sex talk

Hi Ladies;
Well surgery is two weeks away, and again I am having second thoughts. I have asked my gynie about 'sex after hysterectomy' and her words are "it will be different, but it will be ok." My concern is I understand that the vagina is about 3 inches long, so if they close that off, well.. I am fortunately blessed with a husband with quite a bit more than three inches. I know this may sound course, but I really would like to get to the bottom of what intercourse will be like, because it is really bothering me. Please help.

Kel,
Hi I too was worries about this! and sex has been no different since my TAH/BSO on 6-17-02. The only time it was even kind of different was the first time post op and that was just because I was scared! My dh to was blessed with more than 3 inches and honestly the sex is just as great now if not better! Hope this helped!

Here's an older thread about shortened vaginas.

https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/sho...threadid=27600

You wouldn't believe how many women have posted over the years with this same concern.

Different? Yes - better!

I understand your concern though. Pretty scary stuff.

The good news is that your vagina is about 3" long, and closed off at the end anyway, right now. It's just that there's this cervix poking in there a little - but it's closed - the most "open" the cervix gets most of the time is about the diameter of a pencil lead, I believe. It's effectively the "end". The cervix will be gone, and the hole where it was will be stitched shut. Generally that doesn't make the vagina shorter. In fact, I've heard of cases where the cervix protruded into the vagina more than usual, so removing it effectively makes the vagina longer - not the rule, but it happens. In any case, vaginas are very stretchy and forgiving organs.

If you do have a hyst, when you get the OK from your doc to have a go at testing the new equipment don't panic if everything is a little tight and tender. You're just healing - like if you broke your arm, and didn't have full range-of-motion the moment the cast came off. With a little patience and gentle, uh... practice, you'll be fine.

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p.s. Here's a pretty good illustation:
http://www.psc.uc.edu/hs/HS_female_anatomy.htm
See how the vagina goes in one direction, extending a little past the uterus, even? And see where the uterus comes off it at an angle (not as a continuation of the same "space")? When the uterus is removed, the hole where it used to connect is stitched shut, but (as far as I know) the rest of the end of the vagina is left as it is - they don't remove that part and stitch it up "south of" the uterus... I think... Anyway, I hope the picture helps.

Hey - this is even better:
http://www.einsteins-emporium.com/sc...tomy/sh401.htm
And for only $57 you can have one for your coffee table - to explain to friends what you had done.

Hi Kel1,

Oh my! Human anatomy 101 !!! Very interesting....

There is one thing I can tell you Kel 1....for me with fibroids, SEX is not the greatest and every month that surgery is prolonged it declines! It doesn't get better on this side.

Think what your future can become without the surgery.
My best to you,

Kel: I agree with Maralyn...and speaking from the post-op side(5 1/2 months now), things have definitely improved without all that "stuff" in the way! Not to mention that I no longer have back aches, bladder pressure, and assorted other discomforts that I had no idea were related to all my tired, swollen, messed up female organs. I had no idea the extent of the problems until I saw my surgery report...really helped me to put aside any doubts/regrets/worries about my decision to have surgery. I am looking forward to the rest of my life!! Kel, you are in my thoughts and prayers for every possible good outcome! God Bless, : Nancy

How is sex post op?


Whoo Hoo!!!!

:

Tracey: Thanks for asking!! Had to wait(very depressing at the time) two more weeks beyond my 6 week doctor visit for intercourse due to treatment for granulations but we had already improvised with oral sex, especially for my DH who has been extremely patient through many, many childbirths/surgeries. Then had another two week delay at 10 weeks when I realized the granulations were not gone. Little by little, we rediscovered some wonderful creativity within those limitations...maybe the best gift of all from my surgery...since my DH and I have been married over 28 years. Still I found my responsiveness physiologically took some time. I just didn't have the same sensitivity I had had even in the earlier months of recovery. Very frustrating...and possibly related to other stressful issues in my life at the time including my DH's blood clot in his leg, DD#2(two back surgeries in her past) moving back from Texas to NC( she, my DH and the needing-back surgery DD#1 drove the UHaul and her car back East), DD#3's college graduation which demanded more physically than I was sure I could handle, a mother-in-law's visit that was extremely exhausting emotionally, DD#1's L5/S1 back surgery(she came home to recover for three weeks), and DD#4's broken arm as a camp counselor(had to pick her up two and half hours away and get her home to our specialists).

I went for a recheck at 14 weeks JUST TO BE SURE everything was healed...didn't want any more surprises...and now at 5 1/2 months post-op, things are not so very different from before surgery...but I know my DH and I learned to pay attention to each other in new ways in the interim. Kind of like rediscovering each other again...and as I heal more thoroughly I feel better and he feels better. Sort of fun for two old married people with all the complications any two people's lives have! Just have to figure out how to get our house back to ourselves once in a while...the DDs(20 to 25 years old) keep coming home and going away again more than I would have ever imagined! But I wouldn't change a thing!

The long and short of it is that THERE IS SEX AFTER HYSTERECTOMY! My husband had worried about it more than I did...so hope that helps someone else to know that! Tracey, hope you have found "sex on the other side" as well!! God Bless, : Nancy

Thanks to everyone for their encouraging words.
I cant say how helpful this whole website and everyone involved has been.
Guess when I stop and put it in perspective, you ladies are right - our love life right now - has been greatly comprimised because of the watermelon patch that has decided to sprout in my uterus- so it will only be better once all the healing is done.
My nerves and emotions are definately jangled right now, part of me cant wait to get this over with and regain my life, part of me is just plain scared.
Again ladies - thanks so much, You will probably being hearing from me quite a bit over the next couple of weeks - on the countdown.. Going for pre-op tomorrow - hopefully we dont have to participate in the "yucky bowel thing" up here in canada- sounds terrible.

Thank you so much for asking this question Kel

I have been wondering the same thing but was kind of afraid to ask! My DH is also "blessed" in "that" area and I was a little worried about discomfort post-surgery.

And I'm starting to feel alot better hearing from the sisters who are once again enjoying good sex...it gives me hope! Right now, DH swears that something is "pushing him out" of me and sex is becoming a little difficult...hopefully not for long though.