So occupied by this...

My gynecological health has consumed my life! My dad called me yesterday to confirm childcare arrangements as hes playing a part in the arrangements during post op. After all that was discussed he said "so what else is going on?" My reply...."nothing?!" NOTHING! EXACTLY....everyday is filled with pelvic pain, spotting, back pain, urinary discomfort, pelvic pressure, dotting I's and crossing T's for My upcoming surgery, hyster sisters....WHERES MY LIFE GONE? Its so saddening. I want a sister to tell me she feels the same way! Anyone out there?....im desperate to have my life back. When the pain calms down I oftentimes think "well maybe I can wait a lil while to do the hysterectomy". But just as quick as I think that thought, the pain returns. Then I feel so absent in my life. It affirms how necessary this surgery is for me.

Okay....that's all the venting I'll do for now. Thanks sisters!
Amber

I feel the same way and my surgery is the same day as yours.
My life has also become consumed by the constant pain, impending surgery and preparing for surgery. The pain has been a daily struggle but I still have doubts when I get a few hours of relief....maybe I don't need to go through with it right now?Hmm....Then the pain comes back. Oh yeah, I probably do need to do this.
I've seen here over and over again that the waiting is the hardest part. I really want my life back too. I'm sick of gauging everything by pain levels and can I do that? Or by timelines and will I be able to do that or still recovering?
Maybe by summer time life will be " normal" again. Here's to hoping and waiting...ugh.

I feel the same way. I have the added problem of not having a birth control method (had to stop the pill for surgery, I'm allergic to latex & spermacide), so I'm not even able to be intimate with my husband. Right now my fears of the surgery, daily cramps, and lack of intimacy are ruling my life.

Oh jeez! Your life is now what my life was before surgery!

I think it's normal to be consumed with thoughts of pain and discomfort because, well, they are so consuming! Your life is colored by it at the moment and all you want is relief.

I remember thinking maybe it wasn't so bad during a one or two day reprieve each month, only to have the next week bring on an onslaught of brain-fogging pain and horrible nausea and bleeding.

Keep looking forward to surgery and the relief it will bring. Don't second guess yourself now. You deserve a real life and you have the opportunity. Take it. Good luck to you!

You are definitely not alone!! I was the same way before my surgery!! How can you not let it consume you? It is a HUGE deal and a life-changing surgery. I thought about it day and night and when I could sleep, I had dreams about it too!!!

The waiting is the hardest part. Once it is done, you know that any pain you feel is temporary and you WILL be better!!

That's why I love Hystersisters so much. It helped me so much to know that I wasn't alone in what I was feeling and what I was going through. That is why, almost a year later, I am still here, trying my best to help all of you that are now on that same road I was.

Keep your head up. It is okay for you take this time for YOU. The weeks leading up to the surgery and the months after, that is YOU TIME, so take it. You need it and deserve it after all you have been through!!

Ladies thank you so much! It feels so good to know i'm not alone in this. Not that I'd want anyone to feel the way I do, but it shows me that im not the "freak" that i've called myself lately.

@Piper I read your first post op progress post today and was overwhelmed! I felt like my daughter rode a bike without training wheels for the first time, lol! Im so glad to hear about progress, keep giving us hope with your posts!

Hold on ladies, you're almost there! I felt like a broken record before I had my surgery. My mother would ask "how you doing?" and the answer was always the same .. "I'm hurting today". Just like you... constant pain, pressure, heaviness, clots, etc. It affected my work life, social life...can't tell you the dinners. parties, lunches, etc I missed because of it. Then I knew surgery was coming up and that took over...racing like a mad woman to get things squared away, to make sure everything I could do beforehand was done.

And now... well... I've been totally occupied by post-hysterectomy issues and recovery. Is this normal, what was that twinge, I'm tired today, do I have a fever again, when was my last bowel movement..blah blah blah. So, prepare yourself for more surgery related pre-occupation. The good news is that after surgery, the end is in site!!! It will pass, recovery doesn't last forever and once surgery is done, you know you will be feeling better once the recovery period ends. So don't get discouraged!! And use the post-op forums early and often.. I would not have made it thru without them.

Mlb THANK YOU! I forgot about fixations with post op stuff!

Im trying to hold on to whatever my future entails. Then of course I see posts about surgeries being cancelled, things like that just heighten my anxiety! Ughh!!

@bittersweets,

Thank you! Some of my first posts were a bit out there (painkillers erase the filters in my brain, ha!), but yeah, I try to keep it positive, because, really, it's hard enough, you know?

I had some rough days pre-op. It's a lot to take in and deal with. But now I am happy I did it.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by bittersweets Mlb THANK YOU! I forgot about fixations with post op stuff! Im trying to hold on to whatever my future entails. Then of course I see posts about surgeries being cancelled, things like that just heighten my anxiety! Ughh!!

Just keep moving forward! Like I said, at least with the post-op fixations, you know the end is in sight!!