Am I being over sensitive about family's reaction to my hysterectomy?

Having TAH in 2 months I'm in a lot of pain most of the time and don't sleep very well, my husband takes the car to work and it's a long walk to my sons playschool, family are offering to help after my op but they don't seem to offer now when I'm in pain ! My sister drives past everyday bringing her son to school but never offers I've asked her a few times but rarely does she call. Also she announces that she is trying for a baby and that's all my family seen interested in my mother is fussing over her already and I get told il be fine after a few days she even told my husband there was no need for him to take 3 weeks of work to look after me and kids ! I feel upset and angry.

Ouch. I'd feel pretty hurt as well.

I don't think you're being oversensitive but people don't treat "lady troubles" the same way they would treat say... a broken bone. It's our reproductive parts and people don't like to think about that. It makes them uncomfortable.

Your family though - I'd be giving them some serious side eye right now. And, your husband needs to listen to you and your doctors, not your mother.

It's frustrating cos to me it's the scariest thing ever, no one seems to want to sit down and talk or listen to me and if I try to explain how I feel they just change the subject, the house is getting more attention my husband is decorating incase I have visitors ! I'm 32 and because I have kids people are telling me I shouldn't be upset, I know I'm lucky to have had children there are women who don't get the chance but it's like I'm being told to shut up and get on with it.

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Originally Posted by Snaggles It's frustrating cos to me it's the scariest thing ever, no one seems to want to sit down and talk or listen to me and if I try to explain how I feel they just change the subject, the house is getting more attention my husband is decorating incase I have visitors !

There's an upside!

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I'm 32 and because I have kids people are telling me I shouldn't be upset, I know I'm lucky to have had children there are women who don't get the chance but it's like I'm being told to shut up and get on with it.

Just picture them with their fingers in their ears saying :lady parts lalalalalalalalala: because that is what they are doing when they shut you down.

You have every right to be upset. This is a huge deal. You are having major surgery. A chapter of your life is coming to a close. Yes, you have children and that's awesome, but knowing you'll never have more is like closing a door. There's a permanence there that only people who have been through it seem to understand.

Ya your right thanks for the replies also, the house is starting to look good ! At least I've got ye guys to listen to me when I need to let it out xx

I'm with you Texas, this IS a huge deal and its major surgery. I don't care if you've had 10 kids or no kids...it's different for each and every one of us, but the bottom line is that NOBODY else has the right to tell us how to feel about it, how long our recovery will be, or how much help we will or won't need. As for hubby listening to Mum? The Doctor will straighten that out in one brief conversation. xxx

Thanks guys for the shoulder to cry on il tell my husband to buck up or il get ye after him lol

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Originally Posted by lrmctexas Ouch. I'd feel pretty hurt as well. I don't think you're being oversensitive but people don't treat "lady troubles" the same way they would treat say... a broken bone. It's our reproductive parts and people don't like to think about that. It makes them uncomfortable. Your family though - I'd be giving them some serious side eye right now. And, your husband needs to listen to you and your doctors, not your mother.

spot on!! very well said!!

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Originally Posted by Lisa404 I'm with you Texas, this IS a huge deal and its major surgery. I don't care if you've had 10 kids or no kids...it's different for each and every one of us, but the bottom line is that NOBODY else has the right to tell us how to feel about it, how long our recovery will be, or how much help we will or won't need. As for hubby listening to Mum? The Doctor will straighten that out in one brief conversation. xxx

Well said Lisa! (Im also Lisa lol)....couldn't be worded any better!
In fact, all the replies in here have been right on the money!

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Originally Posted by Snaggles Thanks guys for the shoulder to cry on il tell my husband to buck up or il get ye after him lol

If you ever need to vent, please feel free to come on here!
In my brief time since I joined, I have found the advice, support and ladies to be absolutely wonderful!

Hope everything goes smoothly in 2 months for you!