I feel like I need a good excuse

I completely agree with what you both have said, but my boss is not the typical boss. She has a really evil side. She has made everyone cry at some point. She will yell at you in front of customers, never admits when she is wrong,yells at you for doing stuff the right way and wont admit she was wrong. If she was a typical boss you all would be totally right, but she isn't. The truth is not good enough! I am not even the only one who has been off for a hysterectomy. She forced another employee back after 4 wks with the threat that if she didnt she would be fired. So please dont judge me on feeling I need to exaggerate a little.
On the other hand, she can be good too. She understood me needing time off for the surgery, problems are only going to be the fact Im not back as quick as she thinks I should be. Yes, I admit, I am scared of her! Almost enough to just say heck with it then and just go.

with Kim M & Elsie.

I think you are trying to keep everybody happy. But open and honest is usually less stressful in the long run. You are not the one choosing to not go - your doctor has made that decision. Your employer would have to be very petty if she blamed you for this.

These are our opinions, you need to make the decision. I am sorry she is intimidating this is the last thing you need right now. We are not here to judge you - you know whats best for you! Hugs to you!

It makes me so sad you have to do it this way. But I've had bosses/jobs like that, and I totally understand how hard it is to get a new job. Just don't make it any more complicated than need be. In a perfect world your boss would play nice but that's not the situation here. I hope it all works out for you. Let us know.

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Originally Posted by oddballzwife I am supposed to leave on Monday, so need to tell her ASAP but dont think I can just tell her I am too scared to hurt myself. I feel I need to make up a complication to get out of it.

I absolutely understand the feeling that you should make up a complication so that your boss doesn't look poorly on you and retaliate, as you mentioned. I've suffered with depression all my working life and have had to, at times, sort of 'fictionalize' situations a little so that I didn't reveal my depression in ways that I felt would put me in jeopardy. It felt wrong and I always hated doing it, but if our society was more understanding, then I wouldn't have had to. I agree that if you're concerned about your long-term job security and you have a sense that your boss will not simply accept that you need longer to heal, that you should come up with some fabricated complication so that she doesn't strike back at you when you return to work. It's not the way we would choose to be, but keeping a job, and food on the table in a world that is not always understanding and supportive, seems like the least bad option. Good luck!

I say you pray like crazy for favor and that God will soften her heart and understand that you just can't do it, period! Honesty is the best policy, you don't want something coming back to bite you!

So what happened? Did you end up going? If not, how did you handle it and what did your boss say?

Just call her and tell her that you are just unable to make the trip. I would call her ASAP so it's not last minute plus you will just get it over with. You need to be your own advocate and no one is going to pat you on the back for going. They are going to think "she must be feeling better because she made the trip" when it is not true. Good luck

I can completely understand the fear of retaliation! The company that I work for is the biggest gym in the country. Last year when I was pregnant they "allowed me to give my notice" in order to be able to have a rehire status once I was "able to do my job" again. (If she would have fired me-- no rehire) So, I let it happen. This happened after only needing one week off, per doctor's orders, for some spotting early in the pregnancy. When I first tried to come back to work they would not rehire me "until I was no longer pregnant." So, I ended up getting a lawyer. The problem is that I live in a "right to work" state which basically gives a company a get out of jail free card to fire anyone at will. Even if the company is facing discrimination charges! I prob could have gotten a settlement if i went through arbitrarion but it wasnt the settlement that i wanted. it was my job! I played the game and got rehired once baby was born.

On the other hand, my husband is a District Partner for a big restaurant chain, which I also used to work for. I can't see why they can't get shifts covered for you until you come back? Are u a manager or hourly? There's always greedy servers or hourlies that want extra shifts. And if u are a manager... Well, if I were u.... I'd prob embellish the facts a little. I hate to say it. But you gotta do whatever is needed to keep your job AND heal right. especially if you think that your boss might retaliate. As long as it doesn't get out of hand. Keep that '6 weeks out' note from doc handy! :/

I feel I need to post on this subject. I think u should be totally honest. I had my surgery jan 7 th and have been in the hospital 5 times since. Just had another surgery yesterday because of all the complications. Please do not make something up about your recovery. If u are fortunate enough to have a smooth 6 week recovery be thankful for that.

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Originally Posted by Catherine So what happened? Did you end up going? If not, how did you handle it and what did your boss say?

No, I didn't end up going. I called my boss and told her my doctor didn't want me to go and that I was really sorry. I was literally shaking when I was talking to her. She sounded mad at first and then said "well its your money" and let me know I wouldn't get a raise until after I go to the training. I am perfectly fine with that because between my husband and I make enough money my family lives comfortably. Then it ended up it wouldn't have mattered. We had a snowstorm hit the day we were supposed to go and it was cancelled.