If I could talk to me a week ago...

Hi, me from the past! It's me from the future! I remember wishing I could read this a week ago...

So yeah! Surgery tomorrow, huh? Calm down. No, stop crying- you're going to be fine.

You're scared you didn't pack enough. Ha. You know how the only thing that really fit in your bag was your robe and cell phone charger? Guess what. That's literally all you bother with in the hospital. Literally it.

Good call on wearing the Grammy panties and skirt to surgery. I'm still not screwing with jeans.

Excellent call on the hairstyle. It lasted twice as long as anticipated. Plus you looked cool.

(I have waist-length hair, and didn't want to mess with it during my hospital stay. I practiced doing a crown braid until I could do it with no brush or mirror... and still couldn't get it tight enough the day before surgery! Fortunately, my salon said "we got this." Using a ribbon and yarn needle, I "taped" it for added security. It held for 6 days and nights- no brushing, no hair in face, no feeling like I was wearing a grease rag on my head. I even got complements!

Google "crown braid" and "renaissance hair taping" for reference- the website won't let me post a link here.

One thing I wish you had done, me: I'd give anything to have recorded my last conversation with my doctor on my phone. I was still loopy from pain meds and anesthesia, and the printouts he gave me were nearly no help at all. He visited me at 8 am- even without being doped up I was unlikely to remember any info! I certainly would ask first, but I doubt he'd refuse that request.

Finally, dude. Yeah, it hurts and yeah, I'm not planning to do anything for the next month. Ok, full disclosure, I spent 10 minutes on the toilet tonight waiting for my pain meds to kick in so I could wipe! True story! But still, even so, totally worth it. The pain is less than a bad cramp. Even when I've been still and forget to redose every 6 hours (which would be why I was waiting for the meds to kick in), it's not as bad as the worst of my cramping.

I'm not bleeding. For the first time in three months. And I'll never bleed again.

So dry your eyes. It's natural to be scared, but it's much better on this side.