21 Days and counting

Ok, so I have only posted once here but I want all of the Princesses to know that I have gotten so much from this website. I am really stressing here. Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to wait so long for the surgery because as it is right now, I am NERVOUS! *blinks* Did I say that loud enough? It seems the more time I have to wait the more time I have to ponder. Yuck!

It is something that I know I need done and all and it might surprise you to know I just want it over with. I think the one bright spot in all of this is knowing that my mother will be here with me. I haven't seen her in over a year since she moved away to Mississippi. Boy, do I sound like the mother here.... "Man, I haven't seen *blah* in sooooo long."

Anyway, I am sad that this is the reason she is coming and wish that it would have been under better circumstances. Regardless, she is going to be here and I can't thank her enough.

There is a little part of me that thinks I have let her down a little bit in the fact that I haven't had kids. I mean it isn't from the lack of trying. Part of me hopes that she will not be mad at me for not giving her the grandchildren that she always wanted. I know this isn't about her, but I can't stop myself from thinking what I am.

If that isn't bad enough, I have written letters to everyone that I love because of that "just in case" feeling everyone was saying that they get. Well, I have gotten it to. I have never been in surgery and this is scary.

I have ran around, when I am not at work, like a wet chicken, cleaning, washing, fixin', organizing and I am tired. It just feels like I should "get my house in order."

Everyone at work is sick and I can feel the start of a tickle in the back of my throat. I hope I am not getting sick, but if I do, at least I have plenty of time to get better before my surgery.

21 days and freaking and ramblin'
Best wishes,
Rayven

Rayven, I'm happy that you'll be reuinted with your Mom. As you said, it's too bad that it's under these circumstances, but I'm sure you'll enjoy the time you have together. Now let me speak to you as the mother of grown children. I would never hold it against my children if they didn't have children of their own for whatever the reason..medical or other. I do hope I'll be a grandma one day, but that isn't my decision to make. I'm sure this is the last thing on your Mother's mind right now. Enjoy the time you have together.

I can look back and remember being as frightened as you are about surgery. My hysterectomy was my first surgery (except for having my tonsils out when I was eleven). Just the thought of it made me cry.

Take care of yourself. If you think you have a cold, call your doctor and he'll tell you what you are allowed to take. There are some medications and/or herbs that you shouldn't take before surgery.

Best wishes to you,

Hi Rayven,
Stop beating yourself up over being upset. This is major surgery and you have every right to be concerned. I assume you've done your research and this is the right thing for you.

With that said, let me say this, I scheduled my SAH on 12/26 and had it on 1/24, so I had a whole month to obsess over it. And, yes, the waiting and fretting are the worst part. Also, I came down with a sinus infection one week prior to surgery. I marched into my GP, explained my situation, and said "fix it....I CANNOT postpone this surgery." And, he did! Surgery went fine, recovery is going very well. And, as corny as it sounds, positive visualization really does help. Hang in there, girlfriend. You'll be just fine!
JuneBug