2 years, this month and still emotional about it.

Well, here I am. Finally writing after my surgery two years ago this month. I still see commercials about babys, or see a couple with kids and still get a bit upset. Not all the time, but still...I do. I have toys I have kept since I was little, for my own "children I was going to have" but...now going through them to get rid of them. It's bitter sweet, I'll have more room in our home, but, just another nail in the wall saying I'm not having my own children. Ever. I am married now, to a wonderful man, who has an adult Son & daughter n law. We have our fur babys, and that's awesome. But, no one really gets the "not from me" moments I have. I guess it's normal, but it does suck. I'm finally losing the weight I put on. I had a lot going on in there, that made me bloat up about 40 lbs immediately. Slowly..coming off now. I guess, having no periods is a HUGE plus..I love that ! Everything else that comes with it...I'm still dealing with. Normal, not normal...I guess it's different for everyone. I don't want to keep hearing "it will get better" or "give it time" or " I haven't been through it, but I can imagine what you're going through" But...life, is good, and I'm not giving up. Well, that's enough of what's on my mind, for now....I kinda rant off & on since the surgery too...lol

Aw. I'm sorry that you're still suffering.

I'm at 4 months, and I still keep kind of re-living all the trauma surrounding my hysterectomy with loss of ovaries and tubes, too. It was an emergency surgery (1 day's notice) for a cyst, which turned out to have cancer, so they took everything when I was under anesthesia. I have been especially upset over the loss of my gonads, and I continue to worry about how it will affect my long term sexual functioning. Plus, just the general physical trauma of surgery, and the horrifying knowledge of the details of my surgery. Some of the indifferent attitudes from medical professionals and family members have contributed to my feelings of being abused, as well. I did a therapy session on that trauma shortly after surgery. It seemed to calm me down a bit a the time, but I am still revisiting some of this, over and over. I'm hoping to have some of this emotionally resolved by the time I'm at the two year mark, but who knows.

I hope that you and I can find some peace and acceptance with what has happened, because there is no turning back at this point. (sigh)

Very true...no turning back.
I think, that is what ergs me the most sometimes lol
No turning back. It's done.
We live with the emotional and physical scars that come with it.
I hope, as well, that we all can just get through it, without looking back, on the no turning back.
It's a struggle, but, we got through the surgery part, we can and will get through this part....
Just keep, going forward I guess....

Thanks for your reply...Glad to know, I'm not the only one who felt this way.