Pre-op Fear

I am new to the Hyster Sisters. I just discovered you guys this morning and I can't thank you enough for having this web site. I go in to the hospital tomorrow morning for my surgery. I have been so afraid of going to the hospital and having the surgery that I have not slept well for the last month.
The other night I actually woke up and hit my husband, waking him from a sound sleep. When he asked me why I hit him I told him it was because I dreamed that something went wrong with the surgery and they had to put me on life support and that he told them to turn off the machines. He of course reasured me that that would never happen and that he would never have them turn off the machines.
I know in my heart that I will get through this, but there is always the what if's. Like what if they do find cancer and what if I don't wake up. and what will happen to my children If I don't come home. I have actually thought about writing letters to all of my children, telling them how much I love them and that I'm sorry for leaving them. I even thought about writing a letter for my husbands new wife that he will one day evenually have. LOL, asking her to take care of my family and to love them as I do. I know that this is all stupid and that it is only my fear, But I'm only 39 and I never in a million years would have dreamed that this would happen to me. Reading all of the other messages on the board has helped some and I was actually able to laugh because I see now that everyone has there fears and that Im not alone. So thank you all so much for having this forum and Im glad that I found you
woodardk1@msn.com

Hi Kim! I'm so glad you found Hystersisters! What you are feeling right now is very normal. All those "what ifs" are there for all of us. I was a total basketcase before my TVH on 8-20-01. I had every fear in the book and , like you, couldn't believe I was going to have a hysterectomy. It seemed so unreal. However, all my fears were totally unfounded as yours will be also. I am feeling so much better now than before I had my hyst!

You said that you will be having your surgery in the morning. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, Kim. Please let us know how you are doing as soon as you feel like sitting at the computer!

Healing s

Dear Kim:

Welcome to this wonderful place

Let me try and reassure you that the fears you are having are very normal. We have all been through that. When I went for my pre-op appt they asked me for a copy of my living will and that freaked me out. But then I put it in perspective and came home and made sure my DH knew where the wills were and other papers that he normally doesn't deal with. He looked at me with that "deer in the headlights" look but it really made me feel better to ensure those types of things were taken care of.

Of course, everything went fine. And it will for you too! This site will be a great source of support and comfort to you as your work your way thru your recovery. There are many loving and giving s here who will guide you thru every question you have.

Best wishes on your surgery. You have heard it a million times but "the waiting is truly the hardest part" :hair:

Betty

Kim,
Boy do I ever know how you feel. Except my surgury isn't till January, so I have alot of time to think the worst. Our fears are so normal. We are mothers and wives and it is extinct to worry about our loved ones. Good Luck to you and I hope you are as happy as I am that I found this place it truly is wonderful. Let us know how you are doing.....Big Hugs to you......

...I laughed when I read your post, because I've thought and felt everything you mentioned, and then move don to the next thought or emotion. What I've learned from this site is that there seems to be a pattern of concerns, worries, good days, bad days, etc., and that no matter how smart we all think we are, we all still must go through them. It's part of the process. I'm maybe a day or two ahead of you, that's it. Everyone's pattern is different, I'm sure, but we all have them. it's reassuring to read everyone else's concerns. I just went through a quadruple bipass surgery on my stepfather. He was in intensive care for 4 weeks! We thought we'd lost him many times. After that, this really does seem do-able. Not easy, not unscary, but doable. You and I will both get through this just fine.
Sending you good vibes as we speak!
Lisa E.