17 days TLH Post-op. RETURNING to WORK - Pressure, Conflicted, Selfish???

I had TLH June 15, 1 night in hospital, pain well managed, lots of help from mom, DD & DH (although, admittedly, DH has not been quite as "here" for me lately).

Monday, I had my "2 week" check-up. I was feeling really good. Doc said I was healing well, moving well and I have been granted "permission" to return to work next week (3 weeks post-op) at will next week.

Here's the kicker, he likes his patients to take advantage of a full 6 week recovery, but is understanding of work schedules, etc. So, he said I may return to work, but also said to wait until next week before I committed. Because he said, "Recovery is a process of ups and downs, good days and bad, and you cannot predict what you will feel from one day or even hour to the next." He said he will provide whatever orders necessary of my choosing, i.e., wait 1 more week, 3 more weeks, part time schedule, etc. Ending the visit with, "Remember, this is your only opportunity to heal the right way." and to call him Tuesday to let him know if I need any "orders" faxed to my work.

I was feeling great on Monday. The last 2 days, not so much! Insomnia (6 hours sleep in last 2 days), probably triggered by a terrible nightmare that had me in tears and shaking for a good hour at 4:00 a.m., and just feeling generally crappy!. Like crying because I was out of coffee creamer, and just about any other, normally, trivial matter.

I should go back to work, because financially it would be a strain to wait. Not like, we'll lose the house, or we won't be able to eat, including the cats and kids - just tight and more stressful.

So, am I being selfish by feeling that my body and even my soul, deserves more rest and just more down time? Or, should I suck it up and do what it seems is expected of me?

Answers, suggestions, words of wisdom, tell me to get over myself and get on with it, anything, just don't want to feel alone....

I would suggest you take the extra time if at all possible. I am 7 weeks post op and have had ups and downs. The worst was the insomnia, just now starting to get some sleep, bellieve me I am tired! You are not being selfish by taking care of yourself, if you don't, you may take longer to heal in the long run. I hope you don't struggle too much with this decision and remember to trust what you ultimately decide!

Good luck and heal well!

if you can afford to stay home another few weeks, i say do it... your dr is absolutely right in their description of this recovery... i am 3 months out and have spent more time sleeping this week than anything else... last week i got so much accomplished and had tons of energy...

Your doctor sounds like a great guy! I would suggest you take your time recovering, just like all the other posters write. The problem with going back to work too early is that you end up getting overtired and then have to take time off to get better again. Once you return to work no one has sympathy for you and they all think you are back to normal. I would definitely start back mid-week and go half-days to begin with. That way you are not setting yourself up for a disaster. If you are rested and ready to go at work but leave before you get too tired you will make a better impression. They don't see you on the couch at home feeling exhausted..... Good luck making that decision.

its not selfish to need time to heal. do what you need to do to feel better, not what you think other people need you to do. perhaps going back to work for half days will keep you from tiring yourself too much and give you some "normalcy" in your daily life. this recovery is a long one and sometimes it can feel like exile from life. good luck, heal well, and don't push yourself!

It's not selfish to take the extra time to heal right. The other poster is right, once you return it is very hard to then stop if you need to, once people see you out they think you are just fine. So you need to be just fine when you go back, and you aren't just fine right now. You will be better off in the long run.

We honestly can not afford for me to stay home...we are in bankruptcy, foreclosure, and I am the primary wage earner. I am planning on asking my doctor at my Tuesday appointment to delay my return until August 2nd...a full eight weeks post op (TAH/BSO).

I am only getting $170 a week in STD...but we are not paying daycare, gas, tolls, food, dry cleaning expenses, etc. Also, my stepfather is giving us $150 a week for groceries...because we all feel my recovery is that important!

Your doctor is right...you only get one chance to recover. I had a laparascopy, hystoscopy, ablation..plus fibroids and endo removed in December. I rushed that recovery, went back to work before two weeks, and ruined Christmas. It took me another two months to really start feeling good...much longer than if I would have simply stayed home another week or two.

So unless you feel 100%...or won't have enough money to eat...stay home and take care of yourself...you deserve it.

(My staying home is not the cause of our financial issues...my poor DH list his job/career four years ago and we have struggled with his unemployment and now underemployment. Just wanted to clarify that!)

My advice ~~ stay home as long as you can!! Your dr gave you great advice and I agree with him 100%.

I realize we all are individuals, have different financial situations, and some of us heal slower than others.

I had a TLH on Feb 18 and had a fairly easy recovery in that I had no complications or infections post op. My surgery did take 6 hrs, however. I was feeling pretty good and returned to work at 7 1/2 weeks. It was so much harder than I expected. Aches, pains, twinges, and discomfort returned and I was moving so slowly. The first 3 weeks back, I took Wednesdays off to get a mid week break.

Each week I've felt improvement and for that I'm grateful. However, I'm now in week 19 and I still have not had a day where I haven't been reminded somehow that I'm recuperating from a hysterectomy. I've read on this site quite a few times that it can take 6 months to a year to totally and completely heal and I believe it.

So, don't rush back to work. Rest and heal as much as possible. My best wishes to you as you recuperate.

Thank you all for your support and kind words. I will have much to discuss with DH. Pray that he hears my words and doesn't just see $$$. I really need him to understand that this isn't a vacation.

Will let you know how it goes....

No question about it.............stay home and recover. If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will. As Superwomen, we have so many people who rely and depend on us to be the strong one, and like your dr. said, this is your one opportunity to heal correctly. I am blessed that I will have more than 6 weeks to take care of myself because I am a teacher and don't return to work until mid-August. Taking care of yourself is not selfish at all; it is the right thing to do. Keep us posted on your progress and good luck to you!