Two weeks post-TAH

I am a stay at home mom - so I don't relate with returning to work - but I can definately say I "attempted" to return to work too early (house work) a few times and really paid for it. Emotionally I felt like I should and probably could do more, and then was absolutely surprised by how untrue that really is.

I remember the first time I went grocery shopping.. Ihad a about 12 Isles to go down and took both my daughters to lift absolutely everything off the shelves for me... about half way through I felt shaky and wobbly and like I could go home to bed and not move for a week. Again.. I was shocked at how just walking could do that to me.

I think that society really does affect how we treat ourselves. I can definitely see how there is the "pressure" to do well - but know that I have had crap days following days I pushed myself and have come to realize that society doesn't have to deal with how I feel when I perform well for them.. so society can kiss my behind!!

Good luck to you all

Happy Green Day!!

I am an art teacher, so as well as non-stop classes, on my feet all day, preparing paint classes, mosaic classes, ceramic classes and marking, disciplining, lifting (clay slabs weigh 15kg each and are on the bottom floor, so need to be carried up 2 flights of stairs), washing up, helping little students put up big stools at the endof the day and being able to 'roar' above the general noise when needed, it is very different to other professions I have had!!! My co-workers even went so far as to say they would NOT be appreciative if I came back early, only to crash and burn, thus needing to get another contract teacher back. So I made my choice and decided to take the entire school term off. It makes sense - why come back 2 weeks before school hols, when the school cannot pay me AND the teacher who has been in my place all that time? I couldn't properly do assessment, as I had not been there, and want to take this time to get fitter for work.
As for people saying 'you should be back by now' I got that from my (male) surgeon, who I don't really think fully appreciates what a high school teacher's work load is like. And as for any other profession, until very recently, sitting for more than 30 minutes was like torture!
No right minded boss would want a staff member to come back too early, only to have them suffer pain and unable to fulfill their workload?
These sort of people are self-involved, and I can only feel very sorry for them, as they have obviously not felt the wonderful warmth and glow of extending their feelings to others. Their lives are, in my view, stunted.
We can only hope that there are people as understanding and giving as we are when (not if) something happens in their lives, where they finally need to reach out to others for sympathy and assistance.
Take your time, even if you feel well, take that extra time to give to yourself something back - I plan to join 'Curves', a women's only gym, that concentrates on confidence, health and a good fitness regime.
Blessings to you all.

deaddolly- it sounds like we both work for the same boss! I had my hyst. last year, and my 2nd adhesion surgery Feb.17. of this year. (I've been out of work for 5 weeks now.) My boss has done the same exact thing to me after each surgery, even going as far as to come by my house the days I got home from the hospital! This past surgery I'd have to say was the worst, was in the hospital longer than the original hysterectomy. My boss was at my house when I got home! She could see that I couldn't walk by myself, was VERY swollen, out of it from the meds and she said I looked great!!

deaddolly and faifylou, sounds like to me....you both work for the most SELFISH people on earth. Stay strong ladies...no one should have to go through this surgery or any surgery and having this grap going on! What would happen if a loved one would die...just say come in after the funeral?

Thank you, Ladies! You all made me feel better. My boss has stopped calling me - I know she's mad. She texts me to ask how I am, then when I reply honestly, I don't hear from her for a few days. This from the woman who closed the office on St. Patty's Day, so she could hit the bar fresh at 10 am. lol
faifylou; Anxious to hear about your adhesion surgery. I worry about that. I've got keloid skin and scar from a hang nail! I can't imagine what's going on inside my stomach. How did you know you needed addt'l surgery? The thought of more abdominal surgery scares me!
I'm finally able to wipe my butt again...ugh!

Shasti; You're doing it right! Kudos to you. Funny how doctors are supposed to be so intellignet, yet have no clue about certain things.

Lady63: Yes, they're very selfish. My boss and I have been friends for nearly 17 years - our kids went to school together, that's how we met. I knew her before I worked for her. I remember, when the kids were in 5th grade, a classmate died AT SCHOOL of a brain aneurism. My boss *****ed that after a few weeks it was time to get over it and move on (the boy's mother brought in treats for the kids on his birthday etc.). I sometimes wonder if people like this realize how awful they sound.

deaddolly- We knew I would need a 2nd surgery after my first doctor released me and the pain was still there. He refused to treat me anymore, telling me that whatever my pain was coming from, it was not his problem anymore. I spent almost a year going through different tests (colonoscopy, fluroscopy, lactose test, xrays, catscans, etc.). Was put in pain management, that was a joke. The pain management doctor gave me spinal shots which didn't help at all, and then I found my current doctor. He is awesome, knew immediately what was going on, and had an immediate plan. He used 2 new barriers with this surgery. He'd planned on going in laparoscopically, but when he went in, the adhesions were so bad that he had to make a long cut below my stomach to get it all. The recovery is not pleasant of course, but after 5 weeks, I can already tell a difference. The pain I have now is all recovery pain. They had to cut into a large portion of my stomach muscles, so the fusing back together is very painful. I know that it will get better now though. If you have any questions at all, just let me know. Just think of how much better you will feel in the long run. Please do not let any kind of pain go. Pain lets us know there is a problem. I just wish I had found my doctor long before now.

I went back to work this past week and am really paying the price. I am sore!! Thankfully, I work at a school that will now be on Spring Break! My co-workers were supportive for the most part, and the ones that weren't generally like to complain about anything. Only you can take care of yourself and only you will be feeling better when you heal, so listen to the doctor and your real friends who care... like all of us!

faifylou; I will thanks. I have a little pain...more like burning and pulling.
I will be careful So sorry you had to go thru that. Glad you found the right doctor...some are such jerks. I'll keep in touch! Please do the same.

I planned to take one week off.....I had an LSH. My Dr. told me that many can go back that soon. What she did not take in to account is what I do for a living. I work in the wholesale wine business. This means that I am in and out of my car 10-20 times a day, going from account to account and back then, doing many of my own deliveries, which means lifting 45 pound cases of wine (to the tune of 50-100 cases a day.)

Well, needless to say, I was not back in one week...I ended up being off for five weeks and not lifting for three months (I imposed the lifting ban).

I am paid on 100% commission, so I had zero sick time. So, I was fortunate that I was able to call many of my accounts for orders and have my merchandiser take orders at other accounts. I was not only able to continue to make a living, but my sales were up (in a time of year when they should have slowed down.) I think they were sympathy sales. LOL!

Bottom line, only YOU know if you are ready to go back to your "normal" life. Do not let anyone else guilt you into their idea of "normal".

You know your body better than anyone. My younger sisyer told me, I needed to get up and DO something. No she actually screamed it at me on our parents patio. I still had bandages. I just looked at her and told her that I have a perfectly qualified doctor who was giving me great guidnace, and that she was on top of my situation. She herself (sister) is in the peri menopausal stage, where they may or may not need to remove anything.
Hopefully hers will go well and she won't feel like crap like I did the day she stood screamiing that at me.

You have to take care of you, just try to remember that.