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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
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08-15-2004, 09:19 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 48
Hysterectomy: August 20th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
Did anyone else have thoughts of dying???? My surgery is 8/20 and just today I have been thinking what if, what if...Getting morbid, thinking about my kids coping if I am gone. My almost 18 year old daughter is being tested for pcos and is scared, will get results on the 19th, and I am thinking should I write them letters just in case, have them hidden in case I don't come home? I do not share my feelings with family or friends, never show weakness in front of anyone, so I am practically choking on this! I think I will go crazy before Friday. Any suggestions, did anyone else worry about this? I think I am making myself sick over this fear. The surgery don't bother me, had appendectomy and c-section before. But anxiety has slowly caught up with me as I age!! what did you all do to get over this if it happened to you?
Sarah
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08-15-2004, 09:34 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 365
Hysterectomy: September 23rd, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
Hi Sariek, I think its natural to be scared before surgery, But what I hear you discribing is a little more than just plain old fashioned 'preop jitters' Im wondering if you might not be having trouble with 'nerves' and panic attacks. I think you might want to share these morbid thoughts with your Dr. He might be able to help you, you might have an underlying depression that could easily be treated with medicines. I don't know if I would tell friends and family that I was afraid I might die during surery ( probalby too upsetting for the DH and kids) but I would tell them each how much I love them, and how special they are to me etc. I would hate to think that a loved one of mine had some important feelings to share with me...but only if they died...
In the mean time, maybe you can try some relaxation techniques. warm milk, positive thoughts, prayer
try turning it over to God
My favorite is Let Go. Let God. I have also found that the serinity prayer works wonders for me.
I will be praying that you will find peace of mind and calmness. Best of luck on your surgery, and please share with others.
I know I am only sick as the secrets I keep.
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08-15-2004, 10:02 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 961
Hysterectomy: August 5th, 2004
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
It's perfectly natural.
To make yourself feel better, go ahead and write those letters. I tried talking to my DSO about those fears and things and he really didn't get it.
Writing the letters will help you feel all that love and calm you down and maybe even remind you of a few of those things that you can cling to as the good thoughts when you're in the pre-op room. Just writing them will make you feel better, I don't think hiding them or putting them where they can find them is as important.
And remember, you're going through this to make yourself a better, healthier person for yourself and them.
My biggest tip is to concentrate on the things you can control, like how you will direct your own recovery. I spent my time planning visits from friends for the two weeks after surgery, the books I'd read, cleaning and getting the dog's nails trimmed, etc.
Take care.
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08-15-2004, 10:05 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 73
Hysterectomy: June 10th, 2004
Surgery Type: TLH
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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
Hi sariek,
It is very normal to be scared before surgery, I was scared but kept it to myself as well, I told my husband all my pin numbers on my cards, made sure the will was up to date.
I was a wreck the day of surgery, but everything worked out well.
I agree prayer was a real help to me as well.
If you have depression the symptoms will probably reveal themselves after surgery, however you may be emotional because of the hormonal issues involved.
Don't be overly concerned and tell your family you are scared I am sure they would be if they were in your place.
Take care
Mandoush
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08-15-2004, 10:10 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 48
Hysterectomy: August 20th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
Leilarn,
Thanks so much for responding this quickly! That was very astute of you, as I do take Zoloft for depression/anxiety. I am thinking I will increase slightly for the next few nights(doc wanted me on higher dose already)to get some sleep and maybe help somewhat. I was awake until 5 oclock this morning so that didn't help I know, still feeling teary and ready to spout. If my kids weren't around I would really cut loose...lol...
It helped Soooo much to find someone answer, just knowing someone was out there when I needed them. Thank God for this site! I do believe in prayer, have a very religious background, and my mom is already turning prayer requests in everywhere. I just don't want to tell her that I need prayer more for the nerves now than the hyst! So please keep me in your prayers, esp. for that.
Sarah
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08-15-2004, 10:17 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 48
Hysterectomy: August 20th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
Thank you all so much!!
I already feel so much better knowing you all are out there and keeping the support going. I am the strong one here, that goes for dh too, he told me last night that he was scared to death! I reassured him it would be ok, nothing to worry about! I was screaming inside!
So great to know you all are out there and I don't have to keep these feeling hidden from you, or my anxieties!
Big hugs for you all, Thank you!
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08-15-2004, 11:46 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 89
Hysterectomy: August 26th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
I've been carrying a tattered copy of my will around in my purse for a couple weeks now. I ran across it looking for something else & had intended to update for some time, as it was out of date. For some reason, I sat down & scratched things out, modified others & put it away. I don't know what exactly I intended to do from there, as I didn't have time, money or inclination to go see a lawyer. Maybe I thought the will fairies would just spirit it out of the purse, get it fixed & tuck it back in quietly?
I've been on Wellbutrin for years, so the anxiety doesn't get too bad, but I haven't been sleeping much more than 5 or 6 a night for several weeks now. I can only imagine what shape I'd be in without it. My father-in-law had surgery 2 months ago for an aortal aneurism, & he was very worried about dying. I think it's a reasonable fear going into any serious procedure - they do tell you it could happen, even though not all that likely. I think it's something each of us processes in their own way and time.
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08-17-2004, 02:02 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 15
Hysterectomy: August 27th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
Just wanted to let you know you are definately not alone!
I to am going in on the 20th of aug and am having the same fears. My kids are 3 and 8 from 2 different marriages and the thought of them not seeing each other if i was gone scares me to death. I do agree it is a normal fear before a major surgery and try not to let it get to me, but as we all know easier said than done. I too try to stay strong for DH and kids wich seems to keep me somewhat pre-occupied, but get me alone at 5am and im a basket case, I have been on welbutrin for 2 yrs now, and it helps but one thing i have learned you cant turn your fears off, hang in there and know you are not alone or going crazy you are just a normal human with normal fears. I will be praying for you, and all of our sisters.
D
Having abdominal hyst....keeping overies
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08-17-2004, 02:16 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 390
Hysterectomy: September 13th, 2004
Ovaries: Undecided
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MORBID Thoughts....HELP!
Sarah, Anxiety is actually worse than any pain anyone can tolerate, to worry in German means to Strangle and F-E-A-R stands for false evidence appearing real.....try to meditate on peace...talk to God like you talk to us and ask Him to give you peace and DO IT AFRAID....you are not in control He is and you are having this surgery because you need it....after all the surgeries you have had this will be a piece of cake, just relax, surrender and let go, we are all going to die someday but I would bet my surgery against yours it wont be from your surgery... Hugs to all of us silly girls....Denna
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