So many questions...

Just want to introduce myself and say how grateful I am for finding this site. Any advice, information, etc will be so much appreciated.

I am 34 years old and found out last week that I would have to have a hysterectomy due to severe uterine prolapse. I have two children, both boys, ages 9 and 3. Prior to delivery of my first, I was told that he would be around 7 pounds. Needless to say, this was completely inaccurate. He weighed 9 lbs 12 oz. While nearing the end of my second pregnancy, my ob-gyn scheduled another ultrasound to determine his size as my first was so large. Again, BIG boy. I was induced 10 days early and he was 8 lbs 14 oz. First delivery was horrendous. I would take those labor pains any day over the horrible pain in my pelvis and vagina from pushing him out! Had I known he was going to be so large, I would have insisted on a c-section. During labor with my second child, I had a bad reaction to the epidurel and was sick, shaking and unable to push as I was close to black out. The baby sat in the birth canal for 2 hours until I was well enough to push. He actually came out in only a few pushes.

Two weeks ago, I was sitting on the toilet and literally felt like a baby was crowning. There was actually something bulging out of my vagina. I was horrified! Immediately I was online googling everything! I was pretty certain of the prognosis prior to even going to ob-gyn. She confirmed my fears last Monday. I would require a hysterectomy due to severe uterine prolapse, would need my bladder tacked and was sent to the urologist due to stress incontinence which I had ever since the birth of my 9 year old, but was always too embarassed to mention. I saw him that Thursday and was told that I would need a urethral sling to fix the incontinence issue.

This was a lot to take in, after all I am only 34! At this point, I am not planning on having any more children, but hate that the option was taken from me. As if to add insult to injury, when I discussed this with my boyfriend, the father of my 3 year old, he was mortified. He is so disgusted with the whole thing and doesn't want to have sex with me because he said something is going to fall out! Previously, he has told me that my vagina was loose. Of course this is not something any female wants to hear. As hurtful as that was, I knew he was right. Never since having children have I had much pleasure from actual intercourse. It has been painful, always feeling like the penis was hitting something it wasn't supposed to. I know now that it was! I believed that having children had caused me to lose all sensation in my vagina, but I am assuming this isn't true, its just that as it has been stretched out due to the prolapse. Trust me, I started doing kegals daily after him saying that I was "loose." It is unfortunate, but I guess this never did much good.

I return to the urologist on the 22nd to have a urodynamics test done on my bladder. I go back to my ob-gyn on the 27th to have a pap done and to schedule my surgery. She says she may have me get an ultrasound just to be certain of which way to proceed. She hopes to be able to do this all vaginally, but wants to be sure prior to surgery. She also states that she will leave my ovaries as to not go into premature menopause. I am assuming I am looking at surgery somewhere from beginning to mid May.

I have so many reservations, but am also trying to look at the positive side-NO MORE PERIODS!

I am deeply saddened at the thought of never being able to have my own little girl. I worry about post-op and how I will be able to help take care of my kids, who are both total Mama's boys. I am HUGELY concerned about the financial aspect as I do not have enough leave time to cover 4-6 weeks off work. Thankfully we have what is called shared leave where other workers who are going to lose their annual leave, donate their time. A committee decides who gets what. I am crossing my fingers that I will get this because I am the sole supporter of my family as my boyfriend lost his job in August. I am DEEPLY concerned about sex post op. I have read both good and bad things concerning this.

My questions:
1. What is a typical recovery time for vaginal hysterectomy? Laproscopic?
2. Will the surgery fix my lax vaginal muscles and tighten my vagina?
3. How bad is the pain really, and what medications do they give you to alleviate this?
4. Will sex hurt afterwards or feel better?
5. Is there any information out there regarding this topic geared towards information for the spouse/significant other?

I have a zillion more things running through my mind about this, but don't want to overwhelm anyone with my questions. I have cried this out and already started to mourn, well, the loss of my womanhood. I cannot talk to my boyfriend about it, he neither understands and is repulsed at the thought of what is happening inside my body. (I know this makes him sound awful) I have no friends who have gone through this. I don't have anyone to talk to and no real expectations one way or the other.

Just hearing from someone else who can relate should be some comfort in itself!

Thanks in advance for any advice and information. Thanks for listening!

I am facing the same thing as you. I had back surgery in October and noticed in December that my goods where hanging out, also I was unable to urinate alot of the time.
I am scheduled to have a TAH the 22nd. I am not going to have my bladder fixed at this time due to possibly having nerve damage to my bladder from my last surgery, we are hoping that pulling everything back up might help with the bladder problems, as I am using a pessary with some success. (I am seeing a uro/gyn and feel this is the best option for me right now).

The pessary has helped a TON with all that pulling aching feelings. I do have to take it out and clean it but it is worth it to not feel most of the groin pain.

My hubby has also told me that I didn't have the tightness anymore before I noticed all my goodies hanging out. I did do kegels and physical therapy for a couple months with zero help.

I also have a lot of pain with sex (cervix being hit) so we decided to have the cervix taken out too. The uro/gyn thought it would make sex better for us (get rid of the pain).

I am also your age and having the same feelings although I know we are done having kids, but can't help like feeling alittle bit sad.

Hope things go okay for you

Melinda

re : How bad is the pain really, and what medications do they give you to alleviate this?
Just wanted you to know that there is another thread about pain that you should take a look at: titled HOW MUCH PAIN SHOULD I EXPECT . in the pre-op support forum.
and there is a Mister Sister site...can't find that link.
and article in the pre-op articles called "Hysterectomy FAQ For Family and Friends"

hope this helps, I recommend reading as much as you can on this site it is a blessing!

Good Luck,



Sue
LAVH/BSO

Hi there,

I had a TAH (abdominal hysterectomy--open incision) almost 4 weeks ago. I just was released to work part time today. However, if you look at any of the post-op notes in the forums, many of the girls who had a Laproscopic or Hysterectomy at the same time I did, were back to work within 2-3 weeks maximum. (My week was March 15-21 if you want to look at those) It really depends on you, though. If you have ever had any type of surgery, you can kind of gauge how you recover. If you had a few complications now and then, you may have them again.

My reasons for having a hysterectomy did not include uterine prolapse, but a good friend of mine did have one. At that time, she shared with me that they will repair your vagina and your bladder if they need to. (She had both her urologist and gynecologist work on her for the same reason.)

Your pain will vary--some days will be better than others. My recovery time is longer than yours will be, but regardless, a hysterectomy is considered major surgery, so you will be tired from time to time.

I also kept my ovaries, I am 39, and I am beginning to feel really good. I don't miss Aunt Flo at all. I do get sad and sometimes even mad occasionally, but these are just hormones too. You just have to take one day at time, keep posting, and keep talking to your sisters. I do have 2 great kids, and we were not planning on having any more, but still for me, it's just the thought that I can't even consider it. Time does heal, though, and these bouts are less, but they still creep up on me.

Check out the forum for men on this site. That is definitely a good resource for talking it to them.

I am sorry you are having to go through this. You are not alone. There are so many wonderful women on this site here with many answers for you. Hang in there, and let us all know how you doing.

Hi welcome! I am 41 and had a laproscopic hysterectomy 15 days ago. I had all the same thoughts you had before my surgery, really I was a basket case!! I feel pretty good today, and go back to work Monday . I did not have a prolapse so I can't speak to that portion or vaginal repair. I would make a list and talk extensively to your dr about all your concerns. That and this site got me through this thing. I also still am mourning my baby maker as my surgery was unexpected and I was not ready to have this surgery right now! I also have 2 kids and probably wouldn't have had more, but am sad my option was taken from me. It's ok to mourn that loss! No matter how many kids you have. It still hurts! Everything will be ok. Preparing beforehand helped me alot: your house, meals, bills ect. Good luck kirstin

Regs -

I am sorry you are going through this but very happy you found us.

	Quote:
1. What is a typical recovery time for vaginal hysterectomy? Laproscopic?

You are also having repairs done so I would anticipate 6 to 8 weeks. But confirm with your Dr. Check on your lifting restrictions with the repairs they may be more stringent than for just a hysterectomy.

	Quote:
2. Will the surgery fix my lax vaginal muscles and tighten my vagina?

They will probably shorten the muscles that were stretched that used to support your uterus and attach your vagina to them. Possibly after that it will feel tighter. This is something to discuss with your Dr.

	Quote:
3. How bad is the pain really, and what medications do they give you to alleviate this?

This is an individual thing. In the hospital you will have something like morphine or toradol. At home they will do something like Percocet.

	Quote:
4. Will sex hurt afterwards or feel better?

Again a very personal thing, since you had pain during intercourse prior to surgery due to the prolapse that pain may be gone. There really isn't a way to tell ahead of time.

	Quote:
5. Is there any information out there regarding this topic geared towards information for the spouse/significant other?

Here's links to FAQ for family and friends and Mister HysterSisters

Hopefully that will provide you some information for your boyfriend.

to you.

G.

Thanks ladies for all the responses! Its been difficult because unless you are going through something like this, you can't understand what it is really like. My boyfriend is extremely preoccupied right now as his mother is very sick and the doctors have said there is nothing more they can do for her. They are giving her 6 months at most, so that is where his focus is. Of course I understand that, but I still can't help feeling abandoned. Usually in a situation like this, I would lean on my older sister (her name is Kirstin too, by the way), but she went through fertility treatments trying to conceive with zero success. She has severe endometriosis along with low progesterone, etc. Her and her husband tried for years and were never able to get pregnant. They did adopt though. Anyway, I don't want to lean on her because I already feel guilty that I was able to have two "surprise" pregnancies and she planned and couldn't. I just feel as though it sounds selfish of me to complain to her about my feelings because I have been very fortunate to have been able to have 2 healthy children with no problems. I can sense she isn't very comfortable talking about it, so I haven't. I feel very alone and feel as though people are acting as though this is no big deal. I appreceiate the support from you girls! It is comforting to know that there are women my age going through this too. I too am having my surgery done by my ob-gyn and uro-gyno. I will hopefully find out my surgery date in a couple weeks. If I can do anything for anyone, please let me know. Even if it is just to talk to someone else who knows what you are going through!!!

i too am having surgery for prolapse and am very scared its all I seem too think about any advice to get me to not be so overwelmed by this?

Prayer, lots of prayer, and just take one day at a time. After the surgery, the preoccupation does go away, especially when you start to get back into your routine--you can't help it.

Just know you have lots of sisters here who have been through it, or are going though it too. Reach out, know that you are not alone, and know that you will have your own experiences, regardless of the individual ones these brave ladies have posted!

Blessings to you!