Husband going back to work/missing my grandmas funeral Scared/sad :( (kids mentioned)

I had my LAVH (Only have the right ovary left) one week ago. I am a stay at home mama of three kiddos ages 5, 4, and 3. three days before my surgery my grandmother passed away. My grandma helped raise me and was REALLY close to me. So her death was devastating to say the least, even though we knew it would be happening soon. I knew that she would NOT want me to cancel my surgery for her funeral. I can hear her southern accent and voice getting after me because I even considered the thought of canceling this surgery on her behalf. So I went along with it know that I would be missing her funeral (I am in NV and they are in NM, so I can't fly or drive the 22 hours to get there) But I still feel so guilty....so put that with the massive mood swings that I have been having, I am a bit down about that.

THEN, my husband goes back to work tomorrow after having a week and a half off. I am so scared. My kids are pretty disciplined but I am just so tired. I don't feel like I will be the normal energetic mama that I normally am. I do have a good friend coming in for out of town to help me for two day, but after that, I am on my own. Is it so wrong to be scared about being "mama" again? I have felt so wonderful after my surgery. I am in less pain now then before I had it done, but I am just tired. I don't have that "spark" in me. Also without me being able to swim, bend, twist, lift, etc. I am scared that my kids will catch on and revolt, lol. Do any of you have ideas of activities for them to do? I know for lunches we will be having "happy face sandwiches" most of the days cause All I need to do it take the bread, meat, cheese and mustard out and THEY make their own lunch They have fun and mama has a break. and our church is bringing dinners for another week, so that is a blessing.

Anyways, Thanks all for the minor Vent. all in all, I think I am more scared about the whole "being alone" part.

I think with 3 small children, I'd be skeered to be alone too! Are there any people from your church that might be able to devote a few afternoons to either caring for your kids in your home, or taking them out for several hours to play with other kids, go to the park, etc.? (Although with you being in NV, maybe it would have to be somewhere air-conditioned instead.)

I agree with ArizonaBunny - is there anyone who can help you with the kids? Even if it is for a few hours a day. Advice from someone who doesn't like sitting around and doing nothing - don't do anything. Your job is to relax, enjoy your children without having to do anything but encourage them and love them. Have a bunch of their favourite movies, shows and games close at hand.

I am day 17 post-op and my 4 year old came home on day 10. She wears me out some days. I am lucky that I do have someone who will take her from me when I am bushed. The only thing I need to do is make lunch when DH is at work and get her drinks. I've pushed myself a few days to the point of being in a lot of pain. It is important to take care of yourself first.

Beck. Grandma is looking down upon you with a lot of love in her heart and wouldn't want you fretting over missing a funeral. She knows you love her, too.

Your little ones are old enough to understand that mama is not feeling her best right now, and asking them to play quietly for short periods of time is doable. Maybe it's time to bring in the entertainment arsenal - coloring books, play-doh, videos, "looking" books, photo albums, MagnaDoodle, Sesame Street... And check out some of the homeschool sites, too, for tons of ideas and free printables for your babes! You can also let them play nurse or doctor and rub your arms and legs with special doctoring lotion and brush your hair with the "get well brush!" Mmmm. You'll feel really good after that!

I am so sorry about the loss of your grandma!

You sound very brave to have 3 little ones at home whilst recovering and Bonnie's advice sounds good to me.

THere is no chance of the kiddies going temporary to a kindergarten or playcentre or something similar. A place where your husband could drop them off for a few hours and picking them up again from. Or where a friend can pick them up if your husband comes to late from work

Get well soon!

My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Sorry you have all this all at once. YOu are going to be one strong mama when it's all said and done! You'll be saying, "Problems? Bring 'em on!" :-)

Corny, but true.

Hang in there,