Anyone married to traveling/climbing hubby?

Hi,

I'm scheduled for my hyster (don't know all the terms yet but it will be abdominal, and I'm keeping my ovaries) on October 1st. My hubby is scheduled to leave on a mountain climbing expedition a few days before. He'll be on a different continent and out of contact for at least 3 weeks.

My mother will be here for two weeks post-op and she'll take great care of the house and our 2 kids (probably better than hubby could manage I completely support my husband's trip - he's put a lot of time/money into planning this and he only does big climbs like this every 2-3 years.

The closer I get to surgery date however, the more I want his support. My mom is a great help, but we are not very 'close'. If I say anything to my hubby he would cancel his trip. He'd never say anything about it, but I know he'd be very disappointed. Part of me wants him to cancel his trip.

Am I crazy to keep telling him to go?????

Blunt opinions graciously accepted....

Thanks

Gullyabb

It's great to have you join us! I know that other ladies have concerns surrounding their surgery ~ regarding family and support at home ~ and I hope they'll be along soon to share.

In the meantime, you may find it useful to check out our <link> Pre-Op Page, which is packed with information for your hysterectomy.

Sending all good wishes for your surgery and recovery!

Hi GullyAbb

Hmmmmmmmm

I just know that I wanted my DH as close as possible the first 3 weeks following surgery. He is usually in a hotel most nights of the week but re-arranged his diary so he wasn't away as much to start with. And he was always at the end of the phone when he wasn't here.

I had plenty of other help from my sisters, nieces and best buddy but there are still some things I just couldn't ask them to do.

5 weeks out I am on my own during the day and three nights this week and coping well so far.

Is there any way he could postpone for a month or two? Or maybe next year...

Katy

Thought about rescheduling your surgery to right after his trip? I want my husband with me, yah mom will be nice to have around too. Hubby however is hubby ya know? They tend to put up with more whinging than mom too lol.

You are really in a predicament. I would feel the same way you do. I had the same surgery you are having and I don't know what I would have done if my husband wasn't here. My Mom was great and helped out tremendously, but I still needed my husband. He spent the night with me in the hospital and gave me a lot of emotional support, which is what I really needed from him. I don't know what I would do in your situation. I would hate to disappoint him, but what you are going through is a very big deal. I hope you can make the right decision for you and him. Can you possibly postpone the surgery until he returns from his trip?

You are wonderful to be so supportive of your husband's trip. Sounds like a special trip that took alot of care and planning. If rescheduling your surgery until after his trip is an option, I think I would look into that. It only took me 3 weeks to get on my surgeon's schedule so maybe it wouldn't be a difficult thing for you to do. It might be best for all involved.

Since I don't know how urgent your surgery is and I do understand how much of a pain changing travel plans can be, I would say change the surgery date, if that is possible.

My mom was needing to make travel plans and wanted to be here for my surgery. I arranged my surgery to when she would be here.

I think you and hubby would be happier if he could be with you during your surgery AND he could take his trip. I would try to arrange things that way if at all possible. Just my opinion.

Not much to add, you've gotten some great advice. Just wanted to say, as an avid hiker myself, even not knowing what your hubby is off to do, I'm jealous of his plans!

I agree with rescheduling your surgery. I postponed mine because the last two week my DH has been out of town. I only really NEED him there while I am in the hospital. After that, it wouldnt bother me too much if he had to travel. I just felt like I needed his support the day of and the day after the surgery. once I am home, I will be fine with just my mom.

I hope you have some options...

Thanks so much everyone. It's really reassuring to see that people understand why I haven't asked him not to go. Some of my 'friends' can't understand why I 'let' him (big eyeroll) I've thought about rescheduling surgery but then that messes up work, and then my mom won't be around..... kinda like dominoes...

I guess I'm answering my own question. I'd love my hubby's support, but I guess I'll have to stick with the practical help from my Mom.....

Last night was a teary night for me. Thanks for the support.

G