TVH: Do I or don't I

Hello ladies,
I am reaching out to womenfolk. I can’t seem to settle on a decision for my upcoming hysterectomy and I have but a few days to make a final decision. I am looking for advice, opinions, support, warnings, etc.

Here’s the story. I gave birth to S at 36 and started having symptoms of prolapse within months, (history of prolapse in family members). I became pregnant again when S was 2 ½ months old. Miscarried at 12 weeks 2 days but my body would not pass products so opted for D&C, (in hindsight this is the cause of my Adenomyosis). Prolapse symptoms continued, regular cycles but with lots of changes that I attributed to giving birth and being older. I became pregnant with G and gave birth at 38.

Since G’s birth the prolapse issues have continued though not quite as bad as the previous years since diagnosis. My cycles have been all kinds of crazy though. Regular for the most part but excessive bleeding like I’ve never had before, increased pain, intense pressure. And intercourse has been the most excruciatingly painful thing I’ve experienced, EVER, every time and getting worse. All of this I assumed was because of prolapse though not all the symptoms matched up to that diagnosis.

I’m now 40 so I figure; I’ve been told I’ll need a hysterectomy eventually because of the prolapse. I’ve done acupuncture and Chinese herbals for it with great results but the cost is something I cannot afford. And once my divorce is final I will not have insurance. Might as well make an appt. and get the ole girl taken out. Meet my new Gyn a couple months ago; she is the first to mention Adenomyosis as the cause for all the other crazy changes to my cycles and lady parts. I schedule the surgery, and then start to reconsider, A LOT. She wants to do vaginal hysterectomy with anterior and posterior repair of the vagina to help correct prolapse. I can’t wrap my head around this; she is going to CUT my vagina.

Both diagnosis are causing inconveniences but not to the point of being debilitating. As for the boys, I am still nursing G and they are not even 2 and 4. To be out for 6 weeks would be a big chore. I have help lined up but no one single person that can be here for me round the clock for my recovery.

I just don’t know what to do. Each diagnosis can get much worse in any sort of time frame, or not. I am 40 now so this surgery could go easier for me now as opposed to say waiting till I’m 60, or whatever. I could go 30 more years with no worsening of either, or not. I do not want or need more kids. Periods are a bit more cumbersome and menopause could be 2 years away for me or 15. (My mom went early). Does anyone have any input? Personal experience, something a friend went through, anything?

Some days I’m totally for it, no more periods, no more stress incontinence, 6 weeks of rest, (yeah right). Other days I’m thinking, what the Hell?? Cut my vagina? I can still function why have this surgery now? How am I going to tend to the boys for 6 weeks without being able to lift?
So that’s it, what’ve ya got for me?

Something like this is really a personal decision and only you and your doctor can decide what is best. Also, it comes down to your quality of life. Is it something you can live with? Have you gotten another opinion?

If it weighs on your mind about them cutting your vagina, perhaps you can discuss other alternatives with your doctor.

I had to have a TAH because I wasn't a good candidate for the other types of surgeries, and personally, I actually preferred to have my hysterectomy done the old school way, so I was glad my doctor wanted to do an abdominal. If she had decided to do it another way, I would have asked for an abdominal.

I'll be 6 weeks post-op tomorrow and I am so glad I had it done. So far, I'm doing well and at this point, I don't feel like I even had surgery. Wish I had done it a few years ago!

I am 36, no kids. The way I saw it-if I have a hysterctomy I will go into menopause early, if not I will go into menopause late! It is a personal decision. I could not deal with heavy bleeding any longer, it was affecting my life. Weigh all your options, discuss your options with your dr. For me, any amount of surgery or pain was worth my quality of life here on out. Again, I have no kids so child care was not a consideration for me. I have kept all my necessary things within arms' length and I have done fine with minimal help. I am 4 weeks out and feel perfefectly fine, just like I never had anything done or never needed anything done! Actually, I wish I would have done it sooner. I pray for you to have peace while you make this very hard decision and I am sending good thoughts your way.