Anti-social and lethargic

Has anyone else had any of these symptoms?

I had a TAH/BSO in February of this year. I'm not on HRT because I have a high eastrogen level and of course am getting the symptoms, but the worst symptom of all is I'm very, very anti-social. I'm 46 and single and I just don't want to go out and mix with anybody. I'm gradually loosing my friends because whenever they ask me to go out I don't want to go, I just want to go to work (legal secretary - very demanding) and come home and chill in front of the TV and at the weekends, I do exactly the same (except for work).

It's now getting to me and I'm starting to feel very isolated, but I don't feel I can do anything about it. My GP is useless and just tells me to pull myself together. I've tried changing my GP but it's very hard in the UK because there is a lack of GP's around.

Does anyone have any ideas? I really don't want to feel like this, but I can't seem to do anything about it.

Looking forward to answers.

Sandra

Yes!! I am almost 2 years post op and have lately noticed these same symptoms. For me it has gradually grown worse in the last couple of months. First, I just noticed that I didn't feel liking doing anything all the time, now I am getting anti-social. I don't feel like talking to my family or being around anyone. I just want to be left alone. I am not on any HRT either. I'm thinking that it is depression.

Isn't it an awful feeling?

Unfortunately I hate the stigma that goes with depression.

Sandra:

Has your doctor investigate why you have a high estrogen level in spite of your surgery? That's pretty rare, unless there's some sort of ovarian "scrap" still putting out hormones in there .

As far as the "stigma" of depression: anti-depressants are often prescribed for reasons other than "depression". I take a low dose of Welbutrin for my chronic nerve pain (for slipped discs in my neck) and others have taken medications such as Effexor for hot flashes.

Certainly what you describe could sound like depression, not uncommon in the first year after this sort of surgery. But that information isn't anything that needs to be shared with anyone BUT your GP. Why not ask for some SSRI type of anti-depressant to see if it helps? I took Prozac a number of years ago (back when it was the ONLY choice of SSRI-type meds) and had a great deal of improvement on it; I was getting completely out of control, unable to function, and it worked miraculously well for the months that I took it. Eventually, with some therapy and other changes, I was able to wean off it and need nothing after that -- and I've been prone to depression (the "I don't want to/can't get out of bed" type) since my teen years. I feel like the Prozac "reset" my seratonin levels...and I've never gone back to that degree of depression again.

The surgical menopause causes a number of biochemical changes, particularly if you're on NO medication at all. I found at about six months out that my energy levels were quite low; I added in bio-identical testosterone cream and have done pretty well with it since then.

I understand how hard it is in the British and Canadian systems to find a new GP. But I'm very uncomfortable with someone who, knowing that you've gone through this surgery and transition HRT-free, still tells you to "pull yourself together". That's not standard of care anywhere in this day and age of widely available help. And if he's the one who is contributing to your feeling of a "stigma" then it's really time to move on. No doctor should make that sort of value judgement without working with their patient first!

For me, the anti-social feelings stem from a couple of problems: one of them is just fatigue -- being around people is emotionally demanding -- and the other reason is a fear that I'll be angry with them, short, and "burn my bridges" by my behavior. It's easier, and safer, when I'm feeling that way, to stay alone as much as possible.

But that's not a long-term answer. And we know that so much of depression is chemical, particularly those of us in the first couple of years of "instant menopause". There are therapies that can help "reset" that emotional thermostat, and no matter what the perceived stigma (which isn't even a word in my vocabulary, as no one but your doctor and you really have to know about it), you have the right to treatment -- and to feel better!



Audrey

Thank you Audrey. I am on progesterone cream and Effexor but it does not seem to be helping. Everything just seems such an effort. It feels like I use up all my energy coming and going to work.

Thanks for your advice though. It's nice to know that I'm not going mad!!!

Sandra xx

The progesterone cream may have something to do with this lethargy...it can make you tired, and it does build up in the system, so maybe it's time to take a break?

It's also possible that Effexor isn't the right choice for you -- it's not for everyone, and if you do a search on "Effexor," you'll find some recent posts with mixed reviews. There are a LOT of choices on the market, either here OR in the UK, and it may take one or more changes to really get a sense of what's working for you. Testosterone may improve things as well; it certainly helps me with energy levels.



Audrey