To all those getting ready....

I wanted to share something with you ladies in waiting...

I know you are scared. I was terrified. I mean, really terrified. I cried like a baby for the two days before my surgery. All the things that could go wrong during surgery. All the things that could go wrong after surgery. Will I bleed out? Will I die? Who will raise my kids? Will I be in terrible pain? Will I throw up? How will I tolerate the meds? Will my sex drive ever be the same? So on and so forth.

I am just over three weeks after my TVH (kept ovaries). I feel AWESOME. Went back to work at two weeks. And at three weeks my life is totally back to normal, only without the pain and suffering I had. Surgery was a breeze. I am not spotting, having no pain, and I have a HUGE sex drive again. This is by far the best thing I have ever done ladies. I am so happy. I can't even tell I just had major surgery. Of course, I am watching what I do still but my life is really very normal again.

I am telling you no one was more scared than me. And it was for nothing. Not to say women don't have complications and a terrible recovery, they do. And TAH is probably very different. I just want you to know there are very positive stories. And YOU may be one of them!

Good luck and Love

Good to hear! I'm nervous about my TVH in May. I plan on keeping my ovary (I only have one.) Did you also have your cervix removed? And since your libido is back... are you able to return to a normal sex life quicker after TVH than TAH? I'm new here and have many concerns, it's nice to read success stories, it makes me feel better.

Thanks,
Corrina, 34

I feel very uncomfortable with women saying 'the best thing I have ever done'.

Interesting for some women that this surgery would rate higher than say marriage, having children (if you were lucky enough to), finding your soul mate, and the list goes on.

Regardless of your recovery and the surgery you had, if you kept your cervix or ovaries, I don't care. This surgery should never be taken lighly it is huge in whatever way, shape or form you are having it done.

I have read posts that say don't read the post op forums, I say go there and read everything you can and do not limit yourself to this site. It is very important to know what the consequences can be.

Another thing that bothers me is only being 3 weeks out from sugery. The full effects of this surgery aren't felt until sometimes 6 months after and sometimes more. I feel it is unfair to write this as it gives women a very false impression that their lives will be forever better and no-one can guarantee that.

Aus Chick:

I read your post in the Hysterversary forum:

	Quote:
Well, it has now officially been 4 years since my hyst. My relationship is falling apart, I have no libido, depressed, angry, swelly belly (still). Yep, looking forward to another year in hell. If I could turn back time ......... __________________ Aus Chick

Obviously you've had a bad experience with your hysterectomy, and I'm really sorry to hear that.

However, it does not mean that ALL women will have the same problems. And just as some people have been advised not to read any post-op stories in case they get scared, I would like to suggest that you not read any "happy" posts because they obviously upset you. There are women who do well after their op, and not just at 3 months. And if they want to say so, what's wrong with that?

Yes, it's major surgery, and of course there's a risk. But it's an equal opportunity risk. It's not all good, any more than it's all bad.

Holly

My thought upon reading Aus Chick's comment was that she was right: I feel good now at six weeks post-op but that doesn't mean I will feel good at six months or six years.

However it doesn't mean I will feel bad either. It means that none of us know what is in the future.

Conversely, we also don't know what would have happened if we had NOT had surgery. In my case, the prognosis was for damage to other pelvic organs.

What I've seen repeatedly on this site is examples of women making the best choices they can with the information they have. We have no guarantees, which is what makes these decisions so difficult.

(BTW, if anyone does happen to have a pipeline into the future, I'd like to borrow your crystal ball long enough to nab a set of winning lottery ticket numbers.)

As for reading or not reading the post-op forum, perhaps there should be more of a conscious effort to post the positive post-op stories.

I admit I feel a bit constrained by the number of people on that forum who are experiencing problems. It feels insensitive to post a thread about how well I'm feeling when I know there are people reading the messages who are not having a good recovery.

Keep well,
IslandScribe

OK, (((ladies))), time for a Here's the thing: Hystersisters is a huge, very diverse community made up of women of all ages, from all parts of the world and all walks of life, with just one thing in common: we all either have had, are going to have, or are considering having a hysterectomy.

A hysterectomy is a major, life altering surgery. However, the lives it alters are already under the influence of all sorts of conditions in the first place, or we wouldn't have had to consider surgery. Some ladies go through years of pain and suffering before they decide to have surgery; others are relatively symptom-free (as I was) and then suddenly the surgery is already over with.

Surgical outcomes vary widely, too. Many ladies are 'lucky' in that their surgeries go off without a hitch and they have 'textbook' recoveries and go on to happily live the rest of their lives. However, others are not so lucky - they may have complications during surgery, or afterwards, or they may have considerable trouble finding hormonal balance, or they may find that the hysterectomy opens Pandora's box of ailments that follow them for the rest of their lives .

So, it's possible that a member here might feel that her life is vastly improved as a result of having the surgery; it's also possible that a member might feel that she was 'robbed' of her youth, or her health, or even her womanhood, by this surgery.

This website reflects the full range of experiences, which is why I think it's such a great resource. Ladies trying to decide whether or not to have a hysterectomy can see that some women do indeed do well afterwards; they can also become aware that not everyone has a fantastic outcome. I think going into surgery without blinders on is very important ... not if you end up having a positive outcome, necessarily, although it can inspire some ladies to feel more compassionate towards others who have been less fortunate; but, to those for whom things don't go well, so they are not completely blindsided by it.

For every post I've seen by a liw asking others only to share positive experiences, I've seen one by a post op member lamenting the fact that her DR, friends, family etc didn't warn her that things could turn out less than perfectly. For every post by a member (usually in the first few weeks post op) saying that if we have a positive attitude, everything will be fine... there is one by a long time post op member which says something like 'I can't believe I am still feeling so awful after xx months or years', or 'why did this happen to me?' For every post saying "my hysterectomy is the best thing I ever did" (which, btw, offends me, too... I had to do it, but it isn't the "best" anything), there is one that says it ruined the member's life, stole her health away, or cost her her marriage.

Taken as a group, I think the posts on this site represent a balance of all the possible outcomes. I think that's what it's all about -- balance. Ultimately, we each have to educate ourselves about our options, choose the path that we feel is best for us, accept the outcome, whatever it may be, and try to move on with our lives "Beyond the Land of Hyster" as best we can. For some of us, that's easy - great! I hope you'll share your story in our Princess Stories forum as well as coming back periodically and visiting in our Beyond forum.

Being one who had complications, and has had continuing health issues as a result of the hysterectomy, I can understand the desire other women in my situation have to warn ladies who have not yet had surgery of the possible outcomes. Often their own DRs did not warn them, and they don't want anyone else to suffer their fate. There's a dilemma, though... often, the very women we most want to reach don't want to hear our words. It's almost as if they think that if they listen to our stories of pain, complications, additional surgeries, etc., our stories will become theirs.


Fortunately, it doesn't work that way. Each of us goes through our own unique process, separate from that of anyone else here. But, reading about the negative experiences can serve a purpose... it can help women who have not yet had surgery to have the foresight and courage to ask the *right* questions of their DRs, before it is too late. And that is HUGE.

So... if my experiences, or those of other long time post ops here, upset some liw, I'm sorry, truly I am ... but if they cause even one liw to say to her DR, "gee, what about...." and end up finding a treatment option that works for her and allows her to keep her organs, then I think it was worth it.


-Linda

Well, I think I'm about done.

Surferbabe your post was great and so well said.

I don't expect to be attacked about my opinion, I wasn't attacking anyone in my post, merely stating, I think, my view and not wanting to mislead any women in this. We all need to have our eyes wide open and know the possible consequences.

Actually my recovery went great, felt great, as time went on I went downhill which can and does happen to women.

Holly, I think you have totally missed my point completely. I am not saying that women can't say they had an easy recovery. What I am saying is that just because one person had an easy recovery we can't say you will be fine and expect to have a recovery the same as mine.

I think I am totally over fighting over trying to voice my views, tired of being reminded of previous posts being raised for what reason? Kick someone when they are down.

I think support can be found in other places.

ready-for-this............thank you for your words. more like 'cheer leading' and boy did i need to see your post. only have two days to go and just about all in the list fit my concerns.
the word surgery alone makes me cringe. i keep having little panic spells thinking about it. i was given three options in january
of this year, by doctor. since i was learning that my health matters did point back to my reproductive organs, after all those years of wondering.
the lupron depot had a really good effect on my body along w/ the side effects. if someone had offered me options before this, i'm pretty sure i would've come to the same conclusion.
by nature i am procrastinator and tend to always resist something till i have a enough proof that i am on the right track.
i may turn the thing inside out, over and over, then i can act on
or not.
i think the lupron revealed a major possibility. the possibility of having as normal life as possible. i am never swayed by popular belief and probably even more suspect of anything that looks too good to be true. but i do gain strength and knowledge from both positive and not so positive stories of people who have been there done that.
since i have made my decision, right now, i only
want to get through the next two days, to the day after!
can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!!!
all the sisters here and hyster sisters overall, has been an invaluable life line for me, during this time of wait. THANK YOU SISTERS!!! m

I tend to turn to those closest to me for my resources. I have come here to the site to gain more information and tid bits that might make my life easier.

My Momma had a hyst some 20 yrs ago the same with my MIL and my step MIL has had hers for quite a number of years also.

Even though I was a little thing I can remember my Momma hurting. Funny thing is the only thing she said hurt was her legs. She does great now except the marshalmachetty (spelling) procedure didn't really work for her. She is a 60 year old nurse still working 12 hr shifts. That woman can work circles around most ppl I know.

My MIL too has had some sucess with some failure. She has had to have her bladder and rectum put back into place 3 times in 3 years. They kept prolapsing into her vaginal vault. This last time he used mesh to keep them in place.

My step MIL and I have almost identical pain stories. I am even using the same Dr. she does. She has no regrets and no problems.

What have I gathered from this? We are all individuals with our individual problems. My Momma had a prolapsed uterus (I do not), my MIL had cervical cancer (this I have battled against so far have caught it all before cancer), and my step MIL well I have never asked exactly what her diagnosis was.

I know myself. I know that usually what can go wrong will. After my lap in December of 04 I woke up the a foot that was asleep. Something happened during surgery that aggravated the nerve. Praise God it woke up after 3 wks. After my 3rd epidural ( had one with each child) in 2001 I had to have a blood patch for the extreme headache. I know I throw up after being put to sleep and I have discovered that Zofran before I wake up prevents that (never good to throw up after sugery it hurts like words I can't put in here). So when I get to have my hysterectomy I will inform my surgery crew that I have caps on my front teeth and a bridge on my back lower right side. I will inform them that I am allergic to vicryl sutures and that I need Zofram or I will puke my guts out when I wake up. Most importantly I will pray to God to watch over me and guide my surgeons hand. I will take it all one day at a time and do the best that I can. This is really all we can do.

Do I think a hyst will be the best thing I have ever done? No I think it is one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. I think it is the best thing I can do at this point in my life to regain it.

Sorry I am so long winded I just felt there was more that needed to be said. That we have to make the best decisions for ourselves based on what we know. We have to know ourselves too.

Good Luck to all of your wonderful ladies. For the ones with a bad out come...prayers at sent your way in hopes you can return to a normal as possible life.

Whoa was the first response that came to my mind when I read the previous posts. I want to believe that it is no surprise you feel so much better after a few weeks, because who could feel real good in the couple weeks post op. I'm sure for many it does end up being "a" best thing in their lives for disease robs. For me I believe the only thing I can be sure of in life is that changes will come. How I respond to the changes is where I hope to be able to apply my mind, conciousness and thinking so as to not fall into blaming myself or my hyeterectomy for relationship and or health problems years later. No person can know their destiny, if they hadn't had the surgery...or if they do. Life isn't on our terms, but our ability to make choices that promote our happiness is. I'm sure problematic hysterectomys are very sad and maddening, but I think it is wise to be honest about how many of problems in the future are really a result of that. Time changes, libidos change, bodies change, abilities change, no one escapes any of that hysterectomy or not, yet if you watch alot of TV in the USA you could come to believe in changeless aging, which seems out of step with mother nature. Not all changes are losses and I want to believe that when the forces that be close a door, a window is opened. While I am having my own fears about my soon TAH/BSO I am also trying to exercise my conciousness to program my subconcious and body for the changes and success.

My heart goes out to the gals who have not done well with their hysterectomys, and I will happily lend you some of my excess nervous energy to use toward finding happiness where you are. I hope hysterctomy doen't rob one of the ability to love. Noom