Why cant they just be supportive?

People say some of the most unimanagable things when they are misinformed or just don't know what to say.

Like the others, when a negative comment is made, explain that you only want to hear positive comments.

This site has been a real blessing to me to get positive, correct information. Refer anyone who is interest to this site.

My DH has been getting all sorts of advise from the people he works with. Actually they have been telling him to help me as much as possible. Sounds like your DH is going to be very supportive too.

Good luck and best wishes!

Thank you all for your support. This sight has really helped me prepare for surgery and the road after. It helps to know that I have friends here.
thank you so much sunflowers AKA Jenn

	Quote:
Originally Posted by sporty1 This is probable weird, but my dad wants to come over and help get the kids off to school. My husband also works during the day. I don't know what I should say to him. It will feel strange having my dad (retired) over and staying with me while the rest of the family is away. What can he do for me?

Hey, be thankful he wants to help. I think it's sweet that he wants to do that.

Keri

The death rate from hysterectomy is very low--about 0.5% and that includes all the women who are very ill at the time of their surgery. My doctor told me several times that I was more likely to die on the way to the hospital than I was from the surgery.

The great majority of women are happy with their hysterectomies and would do it again. Most say their sex lives are the same or better. The overall quality of life goes up for most women after hysterectomy.

Sunflower,
I am having TAH on oct 25th...9:00 am...and it is my 1st surgery ever(and i'm 43)and the thought of being put to sleep terrifies me..I spoke with the anthesiologists for about 45 minutes and he said we could go another whole route that would probably be easier on me with my fears.
What he's going to do is give me some of this medicine called versed...it is a sedative ..it does not put you to sleep but it makes you feel like you could care less whats going on.but they can still talk to you and you can answer them..and its very tolerable...and there is a med that will immediatley back it off if there was a reaction.
Anyway after the dose of versed he will give me one shot in the lower back which is called a spinal and it will numb me from the waist down for 2-5 hours..it just wears off gradually over that amount of time...i feel much more relaxed doing it this way an dmy dr. says alot of people do it ..its perfectly fine....I just thought i would share my story with you..good luck and big hugs to you..Brenda

Brenda,
Thanks for the info. This does sound like something I would feel more comfortable with. I am going to talk this over with them when I go for surgery. I do not have a preop appointment. Thanks again

Jenn

Sunflowers......Are they the ones living with the problems? Are they the ones going through surgery? No. You are an adult and you are doing this for your quality of life! **Don't tell them anything from now on. Tell them things on a "need to know" basis only! **You don't need all the negativity. By the way...you can also die by going to the store, or eating breakfast! Maybe we shouldn't do that either! LOL! Life is worth living, and chances are worth taking. Don't let their insensitvity, or "overcaring" bother you.

Hi Sunflowers (love that name!)isnt it amazing how people can be so selfish when you jsut need support...some people have an amazing knack of looking at things from how they'll be affected. I cant you any more advice, other than do what I do and let it all go in one ear and out the while smiling and taking a loooonnnggg time in the kitchen to make the coffee. Enjoy your hubby, he sounds great.
All the best x

Sweet Sunflower,
Sometimes when people felt COMPELLED to share their negative opinions with me I just look them dead in the eye and lovingy say "thank you for sharing this interesting point of view. I will be sure to discuss it with my surgeon" and then QUICKLY get out of the room ASAP and find a pillow to SCREAM INTO! I always felt SO MUCH BETTER after the scream.

Luckily most of my relatives were supportive, but I did eventually resort to having other relatives being "negative relative bouncers" to keep the doom-sayers away from me (for their own protection I might add). Good Luck to you and all the other soon to be princesses!

My mom made me feel better actually by saying that I had much more of a chance of getting hurt in a car accident that day than anything going wrong with the hyster.

And yet I still got into the car.

It put things in perspective and I realized it was a VERY routine operation. You can say something like that to them - it might help! You never know.

Lori