Scared enough to cancell surgery

Hi Everyone, I am glad to have found this website. I am overloaded with scary stories!! I just read 4 different books on Hysterectomy and 1 of them started out telling me that 12000 women will die in America this year leaving their children motherless due to Hysterectomy!! Exactly what I'm scared of.

I'm 35 and have been suffering from Endo daily for approx. 2 years (its been longer but thats the official time frame). My mother had it and had a TAH 25 years ago, spent 20yrs on HRT causing hormonal breast cancer that she's been free of for 4 years, even Mom had horrific hysterectomy stories for me. Well my parents live on the other side of the world, I have a 4year old who needs me and no family. (lots of friends). I have tried different treatments for Endo,and cannot continue as they caused deep vein thrombosis.Dr's do not want to try different hormones due to Mom's history and my blood clot.

So I've been scheduled for a LAVH in Feb 2007. How am I going to cook/clean/playwith my 4 year old child if it sounds like I'm going to be recovering for 6 weeks or more??? I'm so scared of EVERYTHING going wrong and being useless to my child afterwards that I was going to phone my specialist and cancell. The stress is causing insomnia.
DOES ANYONE PLEASE have any very positive LAVH recovery stories? How long before you could cook/clean and help young children? Is the recovery really as long as I've been reading?

I may not be able to help with that but I am a mother of two that just went to the doctor on tue to get birthcontrol for my bleeding and now 8 days later i am going in for a total hysterectomy my children are 2 and 6 And I am scard too. I think everyone that is put in for sugery has so many differant thing on there minds that we just dont know what to do....
I am only 27 years old and I will not even be able to pick up my 2 year old for 6 - 8 weeks I am scard to death..
but my mother tells me god has a plan for all of us and we sould just go with it.
good luck
jennifer

Good luck to you Jennifer! My trust in the Lord is the only thing keeping me going.

OMG I am totally freaking out about not being able to pick up my children. I am an active SAHM with an almost 2 and 4 year old. Picking them and playing around is what I do. I'm still not sure what I am going to do about that. In fact I almost cancelled because of it.

One of my very best friends did say to me though, have the surgery now while they are young and they won't really remember the down time. You defintley don't want to do it when they are older and you have to keep coming home because Mommy doesn't feel well.

Oh, honey! Have a big It's perfectly normal to have these fears. I'd be more worried if you didn't have them.

I was supposed to have an LAVH-BSO, but ended up with a TAH-BSO. No big deal, okay? I just move a little slower that's all. (wink)

Sure, I can't pick up my grandchildren, but they get placed in my arms by their mothers for loving. Every day is a little better, and you adjust as you go.

Lena

Fear is normal before surgery. What helps is coming to this forum and hearing from those who have gone through surgery. Hearing from us means that we made it. Yea!!

Since I have been on this site, everyone who had surgery around the time I did and since has reported in...most of them the day after their surgery.

i too was nervous. I had my daughter walk the house with me telling her what was important to keep and the fact that my cats had to be kept together. I think that helped me....I knew that if I prepared for the worst, the best would happen.

I did the same with my work schedule. I planned to be out 6 weeks hoping to be back in two. While I didn't get back up and running to my accounts after two weeks, I was able to get out a bit and conduct business via the phone.

Just remember, these surgeries are fairly routine now. Your Dr. is expertly trained. This combination means that surgery is no longer the scary thing it used to be. Medical technology has made huge strides.

Now if only the could cure the common cold...which I am now suffering! Argh!

I actually asked my doctor at the pre-op day how many deaths occur from hysterectomy. He laughed and said, "well I've never heard of it happening but I'm sure anything is possible". If your surgery isn't until February you have SOOO much time to prepare for your post-op recovery days. I had my TAH on 8/17, at the time my kids were 3 and 10 months... both boys. I was scared to death about how I'd take care of them, even with hubby here. I learned this valuable thing: motherhood prepares us for anything by making us strong enough to deal with anything. Right now you have no idea how you'll do it, when the time comes somehow you'll just find the strength to do it. You will. Check in with us here, leave your worries for us to ponder and every day will be easier and easier until your castle day arrives. I did the endo thing for, get this, 10 years. 10 years. I was SO scared pre-op. It has been the best thing I've ever done. Recovery and all. Good luck and keep in touch!

You can do this! You WILL be ok!!! Your 4 yr. old is probably old enough to understand the basics and you can talk to her about how you'll need some extra care while you are healing. There is so much you can do after you're home with her that won't require you to even get out of bed!!! I have 2 boys (3 and 5) so completely get it! They climb on the bed and I read to them, I helped them make lists to Santa- including stamping the envelope , we watch movies in mom's bed and even eat dinner there sometimes. They really think that is the greatest!! We're breaking all the normal rules and they love it! Even now I can have them on my lap (if they climb up themselves- I don't lift them) and we play on the computer together. You'll be able to sit at the table, or in bed, and play Go Fish or something too. You will want help for a while with normal things like cooking, etc. But, you can always order take out. It's only for a little while and too much junk food in your kids for a little while won't kill them. It'll be like a holiday for her! Your cleaning can wait, too. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is "You can do this!" Stop your pain! Get creative, visit this site for ideas, etc. You can come up with things to do with your 4yo. And, honestly, let her know what's happening. I just told my boys that the place they grew in mommy's tummy was owie and the dr. was going to fix it. I wouldn't feel it at all (explained briefly the medicine that made me dream of them and how I would wake up all better) but that I would be sore for a while afterwards because of what they did. She doesn't need all the details, but it might help her understand better why you are doing this. I'll stop my rambling now. Sorry for the novel.

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Originally Posted by 2scared So I've been scheduled for a LAVH in Feb 2007. How am I going to cook/clean/playwith my 4 year old child if it

I had my surgery on Monday and started cooking again by Saturday. My son cooked for me the first three days I was home from the hospital, but then I took over. He gets an A for effort but his menu was limited and bland. As far as cleaning, I was able to do small things pretty quickly. Now I pace myself, I may not finish a task before going to rest for a while.

I had a LSH 2 weeks ago and I feel great. Another mother in my Girl Scout troop had a LAVH about a month before me. She came in and did a group craft about 10 days after having it. She said she was sore, but she could do little things. I saw her at Costco last weekend and she said that she was feeling almost back to normal.

You can do this. Its the best thing I ever did. I feel sooooooo much better. I put this off for 2 years, I should have done it sooner. Even going in I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up. But I woke up, had a wonderful nurse and everything else went fine.

I have family close, but my parents work, so they were not that much use to me. My youngest is 4 and she had constant playdates. That was the most helpful. I had good friends who would pick her up and keep her almost all day and she had a BLAST!! She made cupcakes at one friend's house, painted pictures with another friend, made bead necklaces with yet another playmate. And I just rested

And hysterectomies today are nothing like they were 25 years ago. My mother had one when I was in high school (I'm 33 now) and I was home when her stitches ruptured due to an infection and they had to have the vertical incision open while healing. When I scheduled my hyster, my fears that I felt at 17 came rushing back....hearing my mother scream for me from the bathroom and the smell when I went in and her trouble with hormones. She is now on a little patch that she replaces once a week. No problems And what you are talking about doing is NOTHING compared to a vertical incision.

Trust me, its the best thing I ever did. And I didn't tell many of my friends because a lot of them are more naturally minded. Until one of them asked if I felt this was the best decision for me and my family....it was, I was in so much pain every month....then don't let anyone else tell you differently. My blood pressure went from 135/88 to 110/72. I think its because I am no longer in any pain, its amazing!!!