Four days to go

I am having a tah on the 28th. I am really starting to feel nervous & scared. I have had surgeries before(gallbladder(sp), c-section, & removal of right ovary) & I recovered well from them all. But this one has me worried. I am also worrying about dh & how well he will hold up taking care of our boys, home, ect. As funny as this may sound I feel a little guilty that so much responsibility is being put on him. I know I should not worry about that & I am sure he will do fine. But it is still there in my mind. I live in Illinois & the weather has been very cold(windchills of 15 below) So I am worrying to that I will catch a cold & have to cancel & wait even longer. My oldest son just got over a cold & thank goodness I did not catch it, but my sinuses are starting to feel stuffy. With Christmas being tomorrow I worry that if I do get a cold that there will be no one I can call to see about what I can take. I start my bowel prep today with stool softeners with stimulants. This has me worried as well, I am scared that these will make me cramp & not be able to enjoy the holidays with my family. I know this all sounds trivial but my date is soon approaching & reality is starting to set in that I am having this done. I have been so busy with Christmas that my mind only thought about it for a few sceonds. But now my mind is racing. I so hope my recovery goes well & that my pain is minimal. I worry to about my body going into menopause beings I am having everything removed. My Dr which I am very comfortble with said that I will need to wait at least 6 months before starting hormone treatments. So what is that going to do to me? My mood swings right now are horrible. Sometimes I wonder how my family deals with me. I mean I just snap at times & feel like I am going off the deep end & then after I have calmed down I think wow was that really me? This has been going on for a few years now, so I hope this gets better. My dh copes with it, but what about my boys? I do not want them thinking they have a crazy women for a mother. I love them all so much, but I wonder how much they realize that with the way I act sometimes. Being intimate with dh has been a joke on my part. I just do not have any sexual desire & I feel so bad because I know dh thinks it's because I do not find him attractive & that I do not want him. But that is not true. I just do not have that desire as I use to. Here again I am hoping that this has to do with what is going on with my body & that after surgery my I will get better in that dept. This causes alot of problems at times in our relationship. Dh gets really frustrated & I don't blame him, I just don't know how to explain it to him. Well I guess I have babbled enough, thank you all that have read this far. I just needed to get my feelings out there. I am so glad I found this site, I really love reading the posts & hearing about everyone's experiences. It does help alot I am finding out that I am only human & even though I thought I would make it through this with no worries I am finding that I have alot of worries. Take care everyone & hope you all have a very Merry Christmas

Janet
TAH Dec. 28th

Hi, I'm having a TAHBSO 12/27 and I sympathize with you. I also keep feeling like 'm getting sick. I've been taking Zicam, Vit c and regular multivitamins with iron trying to fight anything off. So far so good!
I have packed my suitcase and am cleaning and doing laundry to have everything caught up so my husband doesn't have a lot extra to do. I have a daughter that uses a wheelchair and I worry about her being alone a lot over the holidays. I wish you the best! Stay busy and it will all be over soon! Happy Holidays.
Pat