should I feel guility(children mentioned)

Ok so here goes.....I am 35 newly joind member and this is my first thread. I have had a long history of problems but was just told it may be andeomiosis and I have an option of hyster or abalation. I have three kids which are my life and have had my tubes tied(4 yrs ago) because another baby would have killed me but I was told the other day (not in so many words by a lady that had cancer and no children with no options but a hyster) that my concerns were hogwash and I had no right to be scared about sugery because it was my choice and at least I have kids. Now I didnt get angry with her because even tho I had my tubes tied I and I already have children I also went thru a "grieving" of not being able to have anymore kids. I find myself feeling guilty about having a hyster because I just can't stand the pain any longer. I dont want to offend anyone I just want to know how y'all feel about it. I'm sorry it's so long but any response is welcome good or bad.

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Originally Posted by racefan9 Ok so here goes.....I am 35 newly joind member and this is my first thread. I have had a long history of problems but was just told it may be andeomiosis and I have an option of hyster or abalation. I have three kids which are my life and have had my tubes tied(4 yrs ago) because another baby would have killed me but I was told the other day (not in so many words by a lady that had cancer and no children with no options but a hyster) that my concerns were hogwash and I had no right to be scared about sugery because it was my choice and at least I have kids. Now I didnt get angry with her because even tho I had my tubes tied I and I already have children I also went thru a "grieving" of not being able to have anymore kids. I find myself feeling guilty about having a hyster because I just can't stand the pain any longer. I dont want to offend anyone I just want to know how y'all feel about it. I'm sorry it's so long but any response is welcome good or bad.

I am also 35 and just had my last baby 7 months ago. My DH was going to get fixed when I started feeling uncomfortable down below. I went to the doctor 10 weeks post-partum and found that I had a vaginal prolapse. I knew what my doctor was going to tell me so I was prepared of my options. She immediately asked me if I wanted anymore children, which my response was no. She told me to try kegels first and come back in a month. I did so and went back knowing that I was going to need the surgery. I can't say that I was upset that I would never have anymore children, because I love my 2 children and would do anything for them. The surgery was an option for me because I could either deal with the pain or have the surgery. I chose the surgery and am very happy with my decision. You need to do what is best for you.

Best of luck!

Your feelings are yours. Anyone who tells you how to feel if trying to control you. I had my TAH on the 17th of December also. I have two children and a new man in my life. He does not have children and would like to have them. Yes I am grieving but also know another child would kill me also.

You are entitled to the feelings you are having. That woman was playing oh poor me. I have it worse then you so give me all of your attention and focus. Sure she deserves it also but not to take anything away from you. Sounds like woman needs more help. Don't be upset with her. She is in a very bad place. You are only one who can make you feel bad.

We are women and were made to have babies. When that is taken away from us for any reason no matter how we logically feel about it we are going to grieve. It is ok. If you continue to feel this way or begin to have very negative thoughts then please seek help from a professional.

Take care of yourself.

This woman was clearly taking her anger at her own situation out on you. Your operation may be your "choice" but it was a choice forced upon you by your body. No one should be as miserable as you have been if there's a way to stop that pain and suffering. My periods were always horrible, and the fibroids made them even worse: constant bleeding and pain, anemia, back aches, the list was endless. Why should I have had to keep enduring that agony for other people? They weren't putting up with what I had to put up with. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. Please try and disconnect from other people's opinions about whether or not you should have your surgery, be frightened, or anything else they try to thrust on you. Don't worry about "offending" anyone. You will most likely run into people who will criticize what you're doing -- we all have -- and while it's gracious of you to worry about them, don't let them change your decision. Your body is exactly that: your body. No one else has a right to tell you what you can or cannot do with it. Here's a hug to shield you from the bad feelings.

Thank you for all your great responses. I do know I have to do whats best for me and I am going to no matter who thinks otherwise. I have always been known as "The peacemaker" so the feelings of others has always stung me when they were negative. My DH says I need to "go off" scream cry and rant and rave until I'm feeling better have any of you done that?? I can see myself doing that and it makes me laugh but does it really work? I guess like getting rid of built up frustration. Thanks again for all of you I don't feel as alone when I sign in and read posts of other women in the same position.


to everyone!!