New Sister with questions

I am new to this site. My surgery (TAH) is 1 week before Christmas/December 18. Doc says that I should go home on December 21. I have the same concerns that vickie1959 has.
I am doing my Christmas shopping/wrapping now...almost done. I am paying head on bills, getting house clean and organized. But I feel like I am forgetting something. I would like to know something from all my post-op sisters......Was there something you forgot to do that you wish you had done ahead of time??

I also need to know how to make my husband and family understand that I may not be able to go to the family Christimas at my mothers (even though I really want to). My hubby just tells me that I should be fine and not to worry about it. From reading all the postings...I really think I am going to be home bound. How do I make them all understand?

Any advise would be great!!

I had my TAH/LSO October 7, 2003. My sister-in-law's youngest sister was getting married two weeks after my surgery. I was adamant about not going, but my family dragged me to it anyways. I was still hurting physically, but moreso emotionally. Remember, a part of you has been taken away. You have to go through a mourning period. Whether you have had kids or not, the "option" of having more biological children is over. Yes, it is great that you will have "no more tampons, no more pads / Noe more blood-stained underpants", or PMS, but you still have to go through the emotional hard stuff. I knew that emotionally I was not ready to see my sister-in-law 5 months pregnant in a bridesmaid gown, or see a new bride and her new husband have their first dance. I knew I would break down, and that is excatly what I did. As the new couple danced to their wedding song, I began to cry. Then the crying turned into Niagra Falls. I could not get it through my parents' heads that I was not emotionally ready to see these things, or talk to people who constantly ask how I am doing, or the fact that being infertle I can "always adopt". My parents were mad that I was sitting there crying and they told me to "pull myself together; to be happy for the couple; yo not be selfish". You are not being selfish if you don't want to go visit family. Tell your family that you are not feeling well (not a lie) and that you can barely walk (also not a lie), and just you and your husband and kids have your own quiet family Christmas. tell them that when you are up to company, you'll have them over for dinner. I know that two a week after my surgery, I was in mortal pain. Not only was I not up for visitors, but I was also dealing with the death of my grandfather. He died two days after my surgery. I was released on the 10th, waked him on the 12th, and buried him on the 13th. So, I hadmore emotional baggage than you will have, but still,physiaclly and emotionally you will not be up to having people up your rear end. Give yourslef a break, and if they cannot understand, TOUGH CRAP!

Kristen...Thank you! It is nice to know that I am being realistic and not having a pitty party. It is also comforting to know that I am not crazy for all the emotional things I've been feeling alread. I had my tubes tied 9 years ago, but yet for some reason I still get very emotional about giving up the baby maker. I think that somewhere in the back of my mine a little voice had been telling me that if I really wanted another child, I still could, it would just be harder. Now I have to shut that little voice up and it is difficult. Maybe it is just a female thing. I find myself crying for no reason at all. No one understands. I try to explain, but they just don't get it. Maybe they will after the surgery!!

Snoozie-Q,

You're being very realistic about not going to your mom's for Christmas. At one week post op, there was no way I could have done something like that. Just a ride to the doctor's office and home again, which took all of 90 minutes total, wiped me out for several hours afterwards. Those first few weeks after a TAH tend to be a bit rough....not saying you'll be in a lot of pain, but you are going to become exhausted very easily. If you're up and at'em too much, you're going to be sore, as well. You can also cause damage, such as adhesions, and not realize it til months or even years later. Do not let anyone talk you into doing things that you know you shouldn't. Put those jammies on as soon as you're home from the castle and stay in them!!!! The minute your loved ones see you in real clothes, they assume you're "all better."

As for what you're forgetting...I wish you luck. I worked my backside off and still never got everything I wanted done. There is something about having surgery that causes us to try to get more done than about 4 healthy people could accomplish in twice the time Do the best you can and delegate!!!

Best wishes for an uneventful surgery and a speedy recovery

s
Cat

My doctor told me I probably wouldn't feel up to much of anything for up to 2 weeks after surgery, and that seems to be what lots of the sisters here have experienced. I've also seen a lot of the Princesses mention how uncomfortable traveling by car is for any distance, and the fatigue will probably put a damper on socializing! How do you chit-chat if you can't stay awake?

As for making the DH understand: make sure he is there with you when the doctor starts going through all the "do's and don'ts"...maybe that will clue him in. Or print out some of the Pre-op posts/articles to show him. Just because the surgery doesn't leave a great big scar doesn't mean it was minor. One of your Pre-op chores will be to educate him. There are some web sites from well regarded medical schools that have good patient info stuff about all sorts of things, including TAH. Seeing it from Harvard or Johns Hopkins might work; have you ever noticed that many men are "fact oriented"? Find a reputable source, and it becomes the truth!

Good luck to you; changing people's perceptions is always a toughie!

If you truly have trouble getting DH to understand, take him to www.pelvicfloor.com and show him the pictures. Make sure he's sitting down first. To be honest, I couldn't look at them before my castle date, but found them very interesting post op. The pictures are NOT for the faint hearted.

s
Cat

I had a tah, bso,with appendectomy (thank-god, they found out i had appendicitis) last February, thank-god all of the holidays were out of the way, because there was no way that I would have felt comfortable enough 1 week later to go visit, I was feeling better, but you still have alot of internal pulling and tugging of stitches, and sometimes I had a very hard time just getting comfortable, everyone needs to realize this is major surgery and even now 9 months post op, I do feel great, but I have days if I over-do it I can feel my incision pulling and getting numb, I guess its just my bodys way of saying I did to much that day. As far as forgetting anything, I really didnt forget anything until 9 months later, ha ha ha.. last week I was in walmart, and by the check-out counter was one of those grabber things, I said oh my god, I coulda used one of those in February, I was never one to have the dropsies, but the minute I got home fom the hospital, everything I touched I dropped, needless to say I became very good at picking things up with my toes, to this day I have mastered the toe art skill. I wish you all the luck with your surgery, and if you are not up to going to your familys on Christmas, then after they have their meal, why cant they come visit you for a little bit, you should and need to be pampered, you deserve it!

I am scheduled to have a TVH on Dec 3rd and I am way nervous. I actually cried in the car driving the other day...duh! I had my tubes tied 15 years ago but it is the fact that they are removing where my babies grew...

I trust my doctor but have never had anything done at this hospital at all! It took 4 hours for me to get simple pre-op stuff done. I didn't know that I would have to go back the day before surgery to have blood crossing done either and I guess that made me nervous too.

Is this normal? To be this nervous...I should mention this is my third surgery this year...not this type of surgery but for other things...

Being nervous is quite normal. I was not nervous but relieved that my situation will be resolved. I had death dreams a week prior to the surgery. My crying came afterwards. I guess I was being so brave, and preparing for the surgery that I did not let my emotions get to me before my surgery. I am 28 yrs. old; not married and never had children. Whether or not a woman has had children, the feeling of sadness that your "choice" to have another baby will be finalized by the hyst. I cried a lot the week after my surgery. You have to go through a mourning process--having a hysterectomy is not like having a tooth pulled and you don't care because you have other teeth; or a pair of shoes you can return because you don't like the fit or color or style. This is life-altering. Once done, you cannot reverse the surgery. My pre-op appointment bloodwork took about 1 and 1/2 hours. My appt. was scheduled for 8:00 am; I arrived at the hospital at 7:00am. I wasn't taken back until 8:30 due to the wait to check in and go over all the necessary paperwork, and my pre-op appointment w/my OB/GYN was at 9am. I barely made it to the appointment. Then,on surgery day, the nurse drew an extre vile of blood because it was major surgery. Your reactionas are fine. YOu don't need to explain yourslef to anyone else as to why you are feeling the way you are. You can tell them that what behavior you're experiencing now is nothing compared to what you will feel afterwards, so family members and friends: be patient or go away! Help out or leave you alone.
Hope this helps.

Take care,
Kristen

I thought that I had done a great job getting things ready....until- I was spending time on the couch after the surgery and noticed the cobwebs on the ceiling and the dust on the ceiling fan! It drove me crazy! These were two of the first things I did when I was able!
Silly, huh?