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Sex sucked. I felt nothing. Don't feel like a woman
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11-15-2012, 05:57 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 366
Hysterectomy: September 24th, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Sex sucked. I felt nothing. Don't feel like a woman
So Dh and I had sex the first time earlier this week. The external stuff was good. No question there. The internal stuff was well it was the first time. No pain no blood no feeling.
Last night we tried again. Again no feeling for me. I actually just helped Dh out and then cried myself to sleep. When he was inside I didn't feel anything!!!! I was not tense (as much) and it didn't hurt. It didn feel at all. Dh says its all in my head. And that we need to do it more. Why. I don't have the desire and I can't feel it!!!
I was having issues feeling like I was still a wan and attractive and worthy before my surgery. Can you imagine what I'm feeling like now??? Why was I not warned about this? Sometimes I think maybe I could have lived few more years with the pain and bleeding and prolapse if I had known ahead. This just SUCKS.
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11-15-2012, 06:01 PM
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Posts: 10,256
Hysterectomy: December 2nd, 2011
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Sex sucked. I felt nothing. Don't feel like a woman
Atblount,
It should get better over time, at least that has been my experience. My first few times were painful and then it took me a while to feel "normal" but now things are good in that department. Just give it more time.
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11-15-2012, 06:48 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 960
Hysterectomy: October 8th, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Sex sucked. I felt nothing. Don't feel like a woman
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. It can be a mental game, but hormones play their own games. My suggestion would be to try it a couple more times over a couple of weeks maybe. If nothing changes call your Dr. If it is bothering you that bad, call your Dr as soon as you feel up to it.
This is however a great time for your hubby to smother you with affection. I found during my recovery that my hubby was very attentive and affectionate and that I actually missed him being that way. You get tied up in the routines of life and don't realize the small things that we take for granted. Just tell him that you need to know that he loves you even if you aren't wanting to make love to him right now.
I am hoping you can find a resolution to this soon.
{{{HUGS}}}
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11-15-2012, 08:56 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 2,744
Hysterectomy: April 10th, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Sex sucked. I felt nothing. Don't feel like a woman
AtBlount things will get better with time. When I was first cleared by my dr not only did I not want to do it but I didn't feel sexual, AT ALL! In fact my clitoris was literally numb for weeks. Around week 10 I finally started to have "feelings" down there. Tingles and my clitoris had feeling. I think the dr gives us an average of when women are typically ready but it doesn't mean "you're" ready. My insides were not healed at all at 6 wks and that translated all the way down to my clitoris. Funny how when my cuff was healed stuff started "waking" up in other places as well. So give it some time sister. Maybe you need to give it a couple of weeks more. Your body has been through a lot and although we look perfectly fine on the outside, our insides just may need a little more time. sister!!
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11-16-2012, 03:59 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 366
Hysterectomy: September 24th, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Sex sucked. I felt nothing. Don't feel like a woman
I sad to say that the third try was no better. Ended up cryingyaeld to sleep again. I have a dr appointment next week so I will mention to doc. I don't want to think its mental as even though the desire is not there I am into it when we get started then as soon as there is penetration there is nothing. I feel like a pocket. All the sensations I used to have just aren't there. All I feel is him being in there that's all the good feeling I used to have are gone Maybe it IS to soon I hope tht is all it is. This makes me feel so worthless. Ad of course I don't want to do anything related because I feel so crappy about it. Could this be hormonal? I have been on the patch even still having my ovaries. Maybe it's not enough. I'm still suffering from insomnia unless I take a sleep aid. I'm so sad over this.
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11-16-2012, 08:05 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 960
Hysterectomy: October 8th, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Sex sucked. I felt nothing. Don't feel like a woman
It does sound as though maybe you do need a little more time to heal, as well as getting your hormones balanced. Are they going to run a hormone panel at your next Drs appt ? If they run the panel, maybe they will have better luck balancing them for you. I only had this feeling once in my life a few years ago and it was because I was taking an anti depressant. I truelly feel for you, this can be very hard. I can't fix it, but I can pray that this too will pass.
{{{HUGS}}}
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11-16-2012, 09:21 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 15
Hysterectomy: September 25th, 2012
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Sex sucked. I felt nothing. Don't feel like a woman
So sorry it didn't go well for you. Luckily things went well our first time and I did enjoy it in the end, although sadly I did it mostly for DH as I have ZERO interest. I could say that's the from surgery, but honestly I've been this way for a long time, I'm assuming from perimenopause. When I finally do "give in" and say yes to DH, I do end up enjoying it, but not having any sex drive is somewhat depressing.
Just so you know, when my GYN cleared me for sex, she did tell me to take it slow and definitely not to expect "fireworks!" (her words!) She said the first few times can be rough. So, what you're feeling appears to be very normal. Just take it easy and slow and you'll be just fine!
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