Farm wife feeling guilty

Marielle --

My sister in law worked with cows on her kibbutz, does that count? Didn't have a hys, though, but that's just to show you that I know what a farm is like!

But I'm just writing to say that granny moon's post reminded me of my mum, who will be setting the date for her hys tomorrow. She's 80 and tried to avoid it with pessarys, but the thing just also got to the point where she can bearly walk and has to shove it back in place a couple of times a day.

So don't let it get to that point! Do it now and you'll probably have a safer, quicker and easier recovery.

Allthebest!

OH well this brings back lots of memories... from last year when my mom told me about how in the "old days" (guess they aren't so "old days" now are they!!) the women working the farms would have to shove them back up inside all the time. She told me this because I had prolapse that wasn't that bad. I guess to prove to me that it happens sometimes? I kinda wonder if my working in restaurants picking up over 100 50lbs boxes of food 2 times a week for over 12 years mighta caused it. Either that or having such large pregnancies due to too much fluid in each pregnancy.

In any case, you will feel SO much better after your surgery. Well, atleast I sure did and many here will say the same.I had my surgery last July and I feel no difference EXCEPT no periods to mess with, no pain certain times of the month, and more energy since I'm not going through painful flooding cramping times of the month anymore. Needless to say ... um.. the bed area is more enjoyable when you no longer have a uterus prolapsing in the way. (hope that is okay to say... said it as PG as I could LOL).

Please don't feel guilty. I don't own a farm but I own a horse, pony, and have 3 very young children- one of which was and is still nursing. I had to fight the guilt for not being able to prepare as nice meals as before for awhile, and for the house being a mess, etc. But it's something I had to do. And let me tell you- I am making up for it tenfold now. With more energy and not having 10-15 days a month in immense pain/etc I am doing more and my house is cleaner than it ever was. Definitely worth it- and my husband would agree. I'm sure yours would too.

I have lived on a farm before though and I know how much hard work it is. For such a strenuous job (as opposed to a sit down office job) you will need to make SURE you take as much time as you need to heal properly and thoroughly before you start straining to lift things and being on your feet all day. But you can probably help after the initial healing time if you are feeling well, no pain and doing light jobs to help. I don't know what the dr means about changing your lifestyle... once you are healed there shouldn't be any reason you can't continue to do your "lifestyle". If I were you I'd ask specifics about why he advised that.

As for delay... my mother saw the hospital/HMO committee yesterday, and they said it was a total prolapse and invited her to stay for an op (which will be in a couple of days because they have to normalize her INR as she's taking blood thinners).

So please do the op at YOUR convenience, and not let it get to practially emergency status.

Hi!

Welcome and I hope some of the suggestions will help. I know that there were many questions about life style change. I hope that I can help in answering some of the questions. Obviously, your doctor(s) like mine (uro & gyn) warned you of problems that could recurr, if you did not make changes for the future. As major as a hysterectomy is, it becomes even more involved when there are repairs due to prolapse. As you stated, you have a high degree of prolapse (as did I). Though a total hysterectomy obviously can only be done once, the repairs due to prolapse might have to be repeated if there are not lifestyle changes. Lifestyle changes include changing factors that contribluted to the prolapse originally. For example - childbirth - most repairs for prolapse are delayed until childbearing is complete, - heavy lifting ( farmwork, certain manual labor jobs, work involving lifting of materials, patients, children, students, etc. ). Though most of the restrictions are emphasized during recovery for all hysterectomies - with or without prolapse repairs, for those of us with prolapse repairs, these restrictions continue throughout life. Because, as I said, these surgical repairs will have to be repeated if changes are not made (FOR LIFE). In my case I am not a farm wife, but I teach students who are non mobile and nonverbal. They bear no weight of their own. At this point I too am having to consider my future in education ( possibly a more physically able class of students ).

I know this is lengthy, but the life style change restriction always brings up questions. So, MANY people have asked me why my doctor requested a 12 week leave from work, when they had a hysterectomy and returned to work in 6 to 8 weeks. Think of how hard the hysterectomy is on a woman's body. Now, think of adding on 2 or more additional surgeries---OUCH!! My doctors described it as 3 separate surgeries, with the doctor reporting to the family after each surgery.

As for help on the farm, the ladies have given some excellent suggestions. Some others that I thought of include: contacting Juvenile Justice, High Schools, and Churches about their community service requirements. Some of them are always looking for ways to earn "hours" of service. They will be surpervised by not only you but other authorities to ensure quality of work. Can you offer room and board for work? Could you charge for the local public to tour your "living farm"? We have a living farm in our area that is part of public education. We also have a petting zoo in our area that pays for itself through tours and Christmas lighting tours. Since you are looking for a permanent financial means - what about one of those "Dude ranches"? - where the city slicker pays to do actual work. You might discover a whole new field of imagination for your farm - one where you can remain a farm wife with all of its joys, while redirecting the work.

I hope that I have been of some help and not just a lot of hot air. I really envy you. With all of its hard work, I always wanted to live on a farm. Lots of
Rayna

Thanks for your suggestions for ideas on the farm. Unfortunately, we would be unable to utilize these ideas for our situation. We have what is called a genetic farm. We make embryos from our cattle and sell live cattle worldwide as well. Our day starts at 5 a.m. and seldom do we get to bed by midnight. The calendar is full of activities from a group coming from Korea to purchase a bull, hoof trimming, testing milk, ultrasounding, banker's visit, lab work for overseas tests, veterinary care, embryo flushing, whitewashing the barn, state inspection, etc. The lists goes on and on for what the month holds.
The paperwork alone is astronomical and is never ending. My husband and I probably do the work of about 5 people. The 76 cows in the barn are hand fed every day with a buggy load of haylage and then they get a feeding of grain and a feeding of topdress 4 times a day. We have tried to hire help in the past and it is a really big deal if someone comes back the second day. I have had grown men who tower above me, feed one side of the barn the haylage and then bring the buggy to me and say it is too much work for them and they just can't handle this kind of physical labor. So then I finish the feeding as the cows have to be fed. We milk three times a day so by the time the cows are fed and milked and the young stock fed and the barns and sheds cleaned it's time to start all over again.
A couple of years ago, my husband and I took the night off to attend World Dairy Expo. We stayed for the cattle sale which went quite late and got home at 1:00 in the morning. The guy we hired and had milked the cows the last 4 nights decided not to come that night. The cows were screaming when we pulled into the driveway and we knew instantly that they had not been milked. We were devastated that someone would do such a cruel thing to these animals. Two of them became so sick from not being milked that they had to leave the herd and be destroyed. It is very difficult to trust again.
Most young people prefer an easier job than farm life. Most who have an interest are already working for someone else or working at home yet. Everyone wants benefits so they go to the city and seek employment there.
We have insurance for disability for up to 6 months so that is the most that we would be able to hire someone if we were able to find someone at all.
This is my husband's life's work and he absolutely loves it and doesn't even want to retire ever. I also love the farm and all of the animals. I clean house for other people 3 times a week to try to make some grocery money. Life can be exhausting but still very rewarding on a farm. I feel blessed to be here, but haven't a clue how to change this lifestlye. I really appreciated your comments though. Definitely food for thought.
Thanks so much! Will keep you posted.

Hi M,
I also have a prolapse. My dad was the first one to tell me the stories about the cows that gave birth and had a prolapsed uterus, they just shoved them back in and went back to work.....Well "WE" are not COWS!!!!!!! Its terrible and I am having surgery on May 8th. After a lot of thinking it through. I agree with everyone on here though your health is most important. I live in the country with a horse, pig (DD's**FFA),chickens, ducks, geese, dogs, etc and I have had a milk cow in the past too so I am familar with some of that work. My family raised beef cows. Not the same as milk cows though. But the lifting is the same. I work in a kitchen at school where we lift all the time cases of food, huge pans filled etc. I think the lifting is the worst part and will only make the prolapse worse. Mine has gotten a lot worse over the last few months. I try not to lift anything more then 50 pounds at a time but its hard especially when you have to get hay and ours are 120+ pounds a piece. But the horse has to eat. My thought is that the kids in the FFA could help a lot. They are really involved and I would give that route a try. A lot of those kids really enjoy working with animals etc. I know my daughters group does. Don't give up until you find someone that WILL help you. I am sorry about the bad experiences you have had with hired helpers but NOT everyone is that way. Keep trying. You need to get better. I can't imagine having to live with this prolapse any longer then I have to. I am sure you can't either. So just do it and get better ASAP. Good luck and Hugs to you. (-:
Cindee