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Scared of sexual loss, cervix concersn, want to cancel (Updated)
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10-29-2012, 12:44 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 948
Hysterectomy: July 12th, 2012
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Scared of sexual loss, want to cancel
I think a cervical cuff is a terrible term (but standard surgical jargon) for what happens.
It's more of a "vaginal pocket" or maybe a "vaginal seam." The interior top of your vagina does feel different and it is just a tad shorter than it was if the cervix was removed.
My husband actually says sex feels better for him because he's bumping into the seam (and, once that's healed, that isn't painful). I seem to have some pain around my urethra during sex, but it's not constant or severe.
I know what you mean about feeling sex with your uterus. I would sometimes have orgasms that involved very pleasurable uterine spasms. Sadly, those stopped about 2 years ago, probably due to less estrogen during perimenopause. However, for the last two years, I've tended to have very rapid and intense orgasms. At least before surgery.
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10-29-2012, 12:47 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 142
Hysterectomy: November 2nd, 2012
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Scared of sexual loss, want to cancel
Yea i was wondering about the sex after.... how its gonna feel for him and me....
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10-29-2012, 01:21 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1
Hysterectomy: October 22nd, 2009
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Scared of sexual loss, want to cancel
Hey Shells, remember the most important sexual organ is the brain. Had a total hysterectomy in 2009with the DaVinci procedure and they took it all: uterus (big old fibroids) ovaries (hystory of cysts) and the cervix (just in case I guess).
Except for hot flashes, I was never happier and if I had someone to have sex with I would be even happier but I am always there for myself so that drive didn't go anywhere.
But I SO do *not* miss the anemia, the ridiculous amount of feminine hygiene products, running to the ladies room to rinse out pants, the ruined clothes and sheets, the PMS OR the cramps!
Wishing you all the best!
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10-30-2012, 08:32 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 6
Hysterectomy: November 8th, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Scared ,scared scared and just scared!
My date is Nov 8th. The surgeon called today to try to help my fears I think he doesn't want to leave the cervix I do but he says it's best not to. I asked him if sex was different for guys without it and he said" I need to focus on me right now" which didn't help ease my fears. Will my other organs just sink to the bottom?? I am totally freaked out! I am anemic have been for years, they think possible endo esp with the cervical changes he saw while doing the required biopsy. What if he is wrong? I have sooo many what ifs right now. He says I will be up and getting out in 2 weeks?!? I have no help or family and hubby is just lazy. I have a almost 10 year old special needs kid. ugh.
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10-30-2012, 08:52 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 437
Hysterectomy: October 5th, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Scared ,scared scared and just scared!
Hi Shellspace,
Your surgeon is right. You need to take care of you!
I'm sorry I can't help you with keeping or leaving the cervix. It's a personal decision.
If it helps I had my dvh on 10/5 and went out to lunch (as a passenger) 5 days later. (came home and napped..LOL)
Take it easy on yourself!
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10-30-2012, 09:07 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 30
Hysterectomy: November 5th, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Scared ,scared scared and just scared!
My surgery is Nov. 5th and I'm a single mom of 6. My Dr told me yesterday that he needs to take everything. He said the same thing to me that your Dr said to you. I have to take care of me first! if I don't take care of me I cant take care of anyone else! I have endo and 3 extremely fast growing fibroids and they can't rule out cancer. I'm scared too, but I know that my quality of life will improve after this surgery. No more anemia, a lot less daily pain! That will make me a better mom! That is how I deal. I focus on my kids! I'll have more energy and I can play with my kids more! Focus on your son... You'll be a better mom when after this is over!
Sending hugs and prayers!
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10-30-2012, 09:24 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 129
Hysterectomy: November 16th, 2012
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Scared ,scared scared and just scared!
I had the same convo with my doc and she said that because the reason for my operation is heavy bleeding and bleeding every day, there is a small chance that if the cervix is left I will still have bleeding. She recommends taking uterus and cervix. She will sew up the end of the vag canal and it will be fine. No sex for 10 weeks post op. Don't worry about hubby. You need to focus on you and so does he.
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10-30-2012, 09:27 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 433
Hysterectomy: October 22nd, 2012
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Scared ,scared scared and just scared!
I have to say as the TVH recipient I don't know about sex being different. I have not had the priviledge of experiencing it yet as I'm too new but I do remember having those same concerns about the cervix coming out. As for the recovery as far as long term feelings it feels like an episiotomy from what I understand an episiotomy feels like. I am about 10 days post-op and am moving better than I did with my laproscopic removal of ovary... I'm still not going back to work any earlier but it is definately an easier recover than an abdominal incisions if they can go that way. As for the sinking to the bottom- it doesn't feel like mine are sinking at all and the area really isn't that much bigger. What I can say is a good thing I have had stress incontinency (leaking with coughing) and have worn pads continuously for the past 6 years. Since the hysterectomy I haven't had this problem. So I think things just stretch out and give themselves the room they wanted to begin with.
My family is not nearby so it is just my husband and son. Husband did stay home the first two days post op and was off work anyhow the first day. I don't have to worry about transporting the son because hubby is a teacher. I will however say they haven't been as helpful as they could have been. He may be lazy but I would venture to guess he does care. Just spell it out to him your worries. Maybe even discuss with him your concerns about afterwards. That part I think a lot of people are concerned about... including myself.
Some people struggle with decision about keeping the ovaries others struggle with the cervix. I too struggled with the cervix however the TVH lowered my risk of infection (historical infections from abdominal incisions) so I had them take the cervix.
Good luck with the decision making process. It isn't a walk in the park like some doctors make it out to be but from what I have seen it is easier on the patient than the abdominal route.
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10-30-2012, 10:34 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 73
Hysterectomy: November 2nd, 2012
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Scared ,scared scared and just scared!
This is very similar to what my dr told me. I was also concerned about him taking my cervix but as soon as he said that I could possibly have cyclical bleeding from the cervix since my ovaries are staying I told him to take it out! I suppose it depends on WHY you're having the surgery and what you hope for it to accomplish.
I also understand your fears about recovery. I am having my surgery on Friday and my husband will be home with my 9 yr old Friday night while I am in the hospital. Then Monday he has to go back to work. He works 2nd shift and it will just be me and my 9 yr old all evening m-f. I don'tk now what SN your son is, but my daughter has ADHD and is constantly getting into things she shouldn't and doesn't listen. Me being laid up in bed is not going to help any of that because I can't enforce any rules and she knows it. I honestly think I will be fine fending for myself, I just wish I had someone to take my daughter of my hands for a week or two.
We'll get through it! And we'll come out better than ever.
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10-30-2012, 11:02 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 25
Hysterectomy: November 5th, 2012
Ovaries: Undecided
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Re: Scared ,scared scared and just scared!
I have also been told that it is best if the cervix is removed, my op is the 5th November and I am becoming more nervous as the days go on. my op is being done due to bleeding and as there is a chance that i will still bleed after if the cervix has been left i didn't feel i had much of a choice. I have to be in the hospital for three days after the op and won't be able to do a lot for about three weeks after.
I am worried about the cervix removal but feel that I need my life back and so will cope with any problems after surgery, i am very lucky in that i have the most wonderful hubby who is very supportive he wants whats best for me. It is sad when your partner is not as supportive as he should be but with the support through this site you will be fine, you need to think about you.
Take care
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