Response to my thread yesterday

Whlile I am not really sure why my thread was moved, I still wanted to update and let those of you who responded, lovingly I might add, that I was able to reach my gyn doctor and my psychiatris and was able to get a perscription for some meds to help with the post surgical psychosis. it is a rare disorder that can happen to any person having any type of surgery, not just hysterectomy. It was interesting, for me, I would have moments of lucidity, and then moments of panic, like the moment I wrote my post. Suicidal thoughts would come in and be very strong, but then when I felt lucid again, i would then panic at how strong the other thought had been and the cycle would begin again.

My husband was with me, but being emotionally involved and having me beg him not to take me to the hospital, and he, being very loving...and a psych nurse, not wanting his beloved in a psych hospital...was trying to watch over me the best he could, keep me from harm, but he was really unaware of the terror in my mind. it took us some time to reach the psych doc, but thank to hubby's connection, we got his home number...doc on call and I do not get along!

I think it is unfortunate my thread was pulled. There are over 30,000 suicides in the United States each year, compared to 15,000 homicides, and while this is a site about hysterectomy, one of the higher rates of suicide occur among hormonaly imbalanced females. I think all aspects of post hysterectomy deserve to be exposed on this site. You may remove this thread as well, but I will no longer refer my friends here, nor trust that this site is honest nor allows all information, opinions, or stories to unfold or be told. You keep it neat and tidy...and that is not what we woman need. We need, deserve and want the truth, pretty or ugly...we are all big girls here.

I have been a midwife for thirteen years, I stopped catching babies about two years ago. I am an intelligent women, I have a wonderful family. I posted to this website for support. I posted very dark and desperate emotions. I exposed my fears, my isolation, and I reached out to see if others had felt as I did, thinking that there may be a wealth of information, or someone out there who just might help me feel more normal, which it turns out, there was. But someone, in their infinite, "legal fearing" i'm sure, wisdom, was more concerned about their legal aspec,t than my life. That's not a sister.

But to the ladies who responded, in the short time you had, thank you, I did need medical help, and I got it. I am taking low dose serequel, lorazapam, wellbutrin, topomax for mood stabalizer, no more narcotics! Klonopin at bedtime and I see doctors, both gyn and psych on Monday. Psych doctor says this should pass quickly, Gyn says we will do blood work to check on ovary function to see if hormones are needed while ovaries jumpstart, or figure out what happened to them.

This is a rare response to surgery not related to hysterectomy, but an important bit of information for Hystersisters, I wont return here, but I hope the moderators will google post surgery psychosis and tuck it away, just in case someone else drops by with similar symptoms. People have died from this.

I'm really hurt that you deleted my post.

Ur post is still there just on second page. Glad ur better!

Glad to hear you are doing better, and wishing you speedy progress out of your darkness.
Just a note: your original post was not deleted...I think they just closed it to new responses...not sure how that fits with the TOS, tho...hopefully someone who knows will explain why they did that.
Soooo happy to hear that you are on the path to recovery from this!

Hi,
I was going to reply to your post yesterday, but couldn't. I wanted to share that I had an adverse effect to the Morphine I was on in the hospital and when anyone would try and check my incision while I was on it I would start hyperventilating and spiral into a panic attack. It happened three times before they figured out that the medicine was making my natural fear of pain so much worse then it should be. I was seriously scared that something was wrong with me at that point and couldn't imagine what was causing it.
I am glad that you were able to get the help you needed and that you will continue to see someone to continue on your road to recovery.
Best wishes!

In the TOS I found this:
"Suicide Mentions/Threats:
You agree that the staff of Hystersisters.com may remove your post or close any thread containing a mention or a threat of suicide. If you are feeling suicidal you are encouraged to call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room."

I am assuming that this is the reason it was closed. I hope it is okay that I pasted this for the member that asked. Just trying to help.

You are not alone in your feelings! Thankfully I have my doctors cell phone and he is ALWAYS reachable. My husband came home from work when I was a little over 2 weeks post op. I was crazy! Threatening to kill my babies and his step mom. They were literally driving me to the deep end and would not stop. My DH got me out of the house and away from them, then text'd my doc. Within five minutes my doc responded and increased my estrogen. Worked like a charm. Within an hour after taking the new dose, I was back to my old self.
I never realized that hormones played that much of a role in your mental well being but it does. I hope and pray that your doctors can figure out the best combo of meds for you and you get to feeling like your old (but new)self again!
Hugs are being sent. You are NOT alone.

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. You are suffering tremendously - and I hope you feel much better soon!

As I explained in my PM (and other hostesses explained in the other thread) our TOS state:

	Quote:
Suicide Mentions/Threats: You agree that the staff of Hystersisters.com may remove your post or close any thread containing a mention or a threat of suicide. If you are feeling suicidal you are encouraged to call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room.

The internet is not the place to reach out for help/support for suicidal episodes. You should call your doctor immediately, call 911 or go to the ER. The internet is not equipped to handle such information - There isn't anything a reader can do for you when you are feeling this way....its a matter for the medical professionals in your local area.

Please feel free to share your updates - but any mention of suicidal feelings will be closed and you will be directed to the ER or 911.

Thank you for understanding our concerns for you and for our other members.

It does help to know the TOS rules. They werent really a priority while I was psychotic, but it is good to knownow. I guess the meds haven't kicked in all the way, i'm still really angry that this happened to me, not about the post, but that my simple surgery ended up like this. I think I feel a little embarassed and humiliated. I work with people who are suicidal, and before that I was a midwife for fifteen years. I have had depression for many years but always managed that. This just makes me very angry, plus, I'm very tired, I want to have sex, I for some stupid reason miss my uterus, and I just feel icky. Also...I hate the way the psych drugs make me feel. I dont feel suicidal, but I don't feel super either. I just need to chill out! I just didn't expect this...at all.

I've been checking in on and off today hoping to see you post that you were able to get some help. What a sense of relief. Also think it is great that your DH happens to be a psych nurse. I am very sorry you had this experience, but very happy to see you posting today.

alt - so glad you reached out and got good support. I agree, when you are not thinking clearly your judgement gets clouded. I can understand that you would come here for information, not aware that you were in so much danger. Thank you for listening to all of us, and please continue to have some patience, because you will feel much better! This is a road and there isn't a "speed lane." We all have to wait for hormones and healing to balance before we pick up the pieces and move back to normal. You will get there, please keep checking in with us, because I for one can assure you that the anger does fade and you will have peace again.