TAH I wish I never had my TAH

I know the other day I heard it watching TV and it brought me to tears. Then I thought about the scene in the movie Passions of Christ, and he was so tortured. I writes so hard for him. How could people do that to another person? And he went through all of that for me? I was done for. He is stringer then I ever will be and it will be his strength that will get me through.

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Originally Posted by BetteB I know the other day I heard it watching TV and it brought me to tears. Then I thought about the scene in the movie Passions of Christ, and he was so tortured. I writes so hard for him. How could people do that to another person? And he went through all of that for me? I was done for. He is stringer then I ever will be and it will be his strength that will get me through.

You are very inspirational and have the right attitude!

Good Morning Ladies... It's June 15th, and I'm feeling just as useless as when this all started. My last Dr visit he stopped the wet to dry pack process. Time to just use dry gauze pack. Let me tell you, this IS very uncomfortable. I feel like a stuffed turkey. Not to mention it feels like it's being stretched open. That I am to keep it clean & dry. That I no longer need the visiting nurse. Which was a bitter sweet moment. I feel like I've lost the one person that really really cared about how I was feeling both mentally & physically. My so called "home support system" has been let's say horrible. When this all started we were on thin ice to begin with. He has been so flip flop through this whole time. He didn't even bother staying with me at the hospital on the day of the surgeries. Then because I was laid out, I couldn't help take care of our black lab & he had to walk & run him, I couldn't run up & down stairs to do wash, or move my car became a daily screaming match unless he wanted something from me, like money then he was all peaches & cream. Now that I am able to move around better, I take the dog to park and play ball with him. Which is extremely hard on the stomach muscles. They cramp up, as though they are under my ribs. His latest stint was to drop me off after taking our dog to the park. He told me he was going to a friends house for a little bit & he'll be back in a little bit. He didn't get home until 3:15 am! Said they went bar hopping. He even had the nerve to day to me "you don't want to do anything, you just want to sit in that chair, that I am a fat lazy pig.
Nice hey. And to top everything else I've spoken to professionals reguarding any rights I may have and guess what.... I'm SOL! So I've been forced to except the severance package because I am broke and need the 2 more months insurance to finish this process. I could have Colbra but it's $765 a month. So is my rent. So you guessed it, rent comes first. I'm forced to say "it was a mutual decision, for medical reasons" when in fact 2 weeks ago I could have been working.
So now what do I do? I can't apply for a new job because Dr didn't release me yet. I can't apply for unemployment for 10 weeks because of severance
package. The talk circuit is out, because I have to earn a living. These past 10 years I've been an accounting manager and prior to that in housing management. Accounting is so boring and property management has one huge flaw. Whenever the manager above you gets fired, the new one brings in their own crew so job length is about 2 to 3 years tops. I do not know what direction to go. I feel so useless. Daily I read the whole version of the serenity prayer which helps at the moment but depression creeps back in. Any suggestions?

And what about these hot flashes?? Man I can't stand it!!!!

All i can say is HANG IN THERE BETTE !!! Tomorrow cant be better if we don't try ! I have my own sittuation ive been thru, but i don't wana drag you thru it all right now... just PLEASE believe me when i say : At times in my life i thought i couldn't make it another day, but i did & am so glad to be alive!!!! Bette, continue to be strong sweetie , someday you'll be glad you're on the other side of it all ! If you would like a story of strenght & good things to come ahead, while it is a different road i walked, i do know a bit about loss& suffering ,,, go to the aching heart forum & Read my thread titled" childless WHY ME, because its my path" ... i promiss you will smile!!!! Hugs hugs& HUGS!!!!! Deb

Hi Bette,

I'm so sorry to read about what you are going through. I don't know what's wrong with docs these days! Back off on the meds...what? You would back off if you could back off. Your doc makes it seem like you are a druggy or are becoming one. My doc didn't want to give me a new prescription for oxycodone as he thought I shouldn't be in anymore pain after 2 weeks. Well, i was! He gave me another prescription and I didn't needs it after day 3. I know it's tough now, but you will get through this and you will feel better and healthy again!

You are in my prayers.

Hugs,
Suzy

Hey Bette, you've already got tickets sold! Think of you so often and hope you're on your way back to good.And don't be a stranger! I came back to this thread specifically to see how you were progressing, you lucky girl,lol! Slow and steady my friend, just like me! ( a host of slight mobiliyt issues), but I ALWAYS get to where I wanna be!!

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Originally Posted by verbena2 Hey Bette, you've already got tickets sold! Think of you so often and hope you're on your way back to good.And don't be a stranger! I came back to this thread specifically to see how you were progressing, you lucky girl,lol! Slow and steady my friend, just like me! ( a host of slight mobiliyt issues), but I ALWAYS get to where I wanna be!!

You are so cool. :-) it is so strange how we are connected. I purchased a ring in the shape of a small turtle 2 months ago to remind me that slow & steady wins the race.
As of today I'm doing ok. Getting out more & more.
Last night I went to a concert in the park. One moment during the evening I thanked God for getting me through this and allowing me to be there. The people smiling having a good time, the fresh air, music and even the rain was nice.
So, the other day I watched this movie Noah's Ark with Morgan Freeman he played God. One scene he was explaining how God works. He said if you pray for patience does he give you patience or an opportunity to be patient.
So, for 3 years I've been putting off making changes in my life. I believe he's giving me the chance to make a change. I look back, 2 months before surgery 3 of my old friends were brought back into my life. Being bed ridden I was given the chance to watch Oprah that day to listen to those famous words. Then I was terminated so is this my chance to make a change? I pray it is. And I pray it's a good change.
Hang on to that ticket who knows what the future brings! Lol.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by verbena2 Hey Bette, you've already got tickets sold! Think of you so often and hope you're on your way back to good.And don't be a stranger! I came back to this thread specifically to see how you were progressing, you lucky girl,lol! Slow and steady my friend, just like me! ( a host of slight mobiliyt issues), but I ALWAYS get to where I wanna be!!

I found out something & I thought of you instantly. Yesterday I went to get my hair done. The stylist said a friend of his just went through the same exact thing as me. And get this from the same hospital!!!! Can you believe it??? I got to do something to warn woman. So dust off that ticket!!

Wow. I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I thought I had a hard time after my TAH/bs. Is there a burn/wound center near you? I had somewhat of the same issue. I had a fluid build up pocket the next day after being released from the hospital. I had my staples removed and was told to go to the wound center. they are fantastic people except for the additional surgery of course. You are not alone in all of this. we are here for you.