I'm calling it off! Not really........

It sure feels good to say that. Here once again......I AM CALLING IT OFF!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, I can't but I want to. I am getting ready to leave for my pre-opp appt. I am having hot flashes and the tips of my fingers are like ice cycles. The frequent trips to the bathroom don't help either. I'm sure partly caused by the hormones I am taking to keep me from bleeding out before my castle trip on 12-8. People here at work have asked if I am okay, some know and some don't. I just smile and say, "I am fine, and you"? As I envision :burning: punching them in the stomach and saying, "that's about how I feel, and you"?

My DH just e-mailed from work and said he would meet me there. I don't want him too. Isn't that horrible. Well, I do but I don't. I am sooooo confused right now. I know there is life on the other side of the castle. It sure is no fun getting there. I will buck up and stay strong . And quit whining! Sorry. Thank you all for your strength. Through this website I have been able to express myself and feel better just by and touch of a key. You princesses are wonderful.

dont call it off, really I have had alot of surgery oct 31 and thank god for the web site and everyone in it I wouldnt have survived they helped me before and still 4 weeks post op I had tah rectocele and cyctpcele and there is alot of stitches down there in and out and I survived my incision on my stomash is long but looks good no stitches it was done on inside, lucky for me, but things only get better from here on in, be strong and just remember your hystersisters are here for you just tune in. good luck Ice Cream

I know what you mean...sometimes you just feel like saying, "Enough! I can't go through with this!" Then, reality hits and you realize that although it's scary as all get out, it's really the best for those who have suffered for so long. You will get through it - we all will as so many have before us. Soon we will be telling LIWs that we've never felt better and the wait really WAS the worst part.

Let us know how your pre-op went. Good luck with surgery next week if I'm not feeling up to posting as soon as I get home from the castle.

Hi Suzzie!
I am sooooo glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels that way. My surgery is still a ways away (Jan. 20) and I threaten to call it off frequently to my DH. That's where I can say my sisters have helped me a lot... I don't post much because what I'm concerned about is usually already here and I read all the responses and feel better.

I will say one thing... Aunt Flo visited me again (it was only 7 days since my last one ended ) Thanksgiving Day, of all days, and reminded me why I need this.
Here we go again with the heavy bleeding, clotting, pelvic pain, yadda yadda yadda which will probably stick around until my castle date.

Because of the sisters, I am less frightened of the surgery and I know the pain from recovery is temporary and afterwards, my quality of life will be improved 100000000000000000%

Well, I survived. My DH did show up and I'm glad. He was wonderful support. My mother showed up as well, not so good. She works in the same building, so she took a late lunch and just came over with out asking. I told her I was fine and I didn't need her to stay. Afterwards I stopped by her office to say "Hi". Low and behold I got the 3rd degree on how "She" wants to make sure I am doing the right thing. Needless to say I got upset and told her "she" didn't need to know anything. "I" am the one making the decision not her. Oh, and thanks for the support.

Don't get me wrong I love her deeply. But, controlling, controlling, controlling and it's getting on my nerves. Wow, I am normally a very happy person. It just seems lately I snap at what I would normally blow off and am loosing my patients very easily. Okay, I have vented (a little) and will move on. No pity party here! Thanks for the supportive words.