Insensitive CoWorkers

I am scheduled to have a Hysterectomy on 8/8 and it has been a very hard decision for me to make, as you all know. So I finally make it, them BAM my coworkeds who I thought were friends, are giving me a hard time about covering my work! They say I am interfiering with their vacations etc. They also say that since this is a "optional" hysterectomy that I should reschedule it for a more convienient time for THEM! They have no clue of what I have been through for the last 4 yrs with my endometriosis. The pain, constant bleeding, surgeries, meds! When I try to explain it to them they just say, oh well you can have it done anytime, or cant you just deal with it a little longer, or I wouldnt do that if I was you I would stay on the meds. I am so angry, because in a way they are making me feel bad like I am being inconsiderate. When I know that they are! My boss is being really nice about it, which is all that matters I guess. So I gave hima list of my duties and decided to let him tell them they have to do it. I just wish I had some support on my decision, they are acting like I dont need this done, I just want time off from work! Anyone else have to deal with insensitive people like this???

Everyone here on Hyster Sisters knows this isn't a surgery taken lightly, just to be rescheduled to suit others vacations or objections--you NEED this surgery for your physical and emotional health! You did the right thing listing your duties for your boss so that he/she can then assign them as needed; that's the professional way. Some people can be downright inconsiderate; I think some of them just feel that for X weeks they'll have more than usual to do and they're starting to feel overwhelmed by it in anticipation. Don't let them get you down--if you've felt rotten for years, this is not optional for you--it's necessary. And while I'm on, you get my standard advice I give to everyone, asked or not: in the castle, avoid the broth and green jello!

I know how you feel. You and your doctor knows what is best for YOU. My grandmother called me a couple of weeks ago and told me she hopes I am doing the right thing. I just had to put it to her bluntly. I told her it was either do it now or maybe end up in worse shape later or maybe even become addicted to pain meds. Just do what you think is right and girl, eventually you will feel better. When you get back to work and you are feeling better b/c the endo is gone then maybe they will realize how it was something that needed to be done now. I wish you well. Keep your chin up and handle your business. Good luck!!! Tell them that you will pray for them and they will wonder what it is they need you to pray for them. Maybe while they are thinking about it they will realize how inconsiderate they were.



Rachelle

OH LORD CAN I RELATE!!!

Except not only do I have insensitive coworkers I also have an insensitive supervisor (I've posted a previous thread about her.)
You see I am eating into my supervisors vacation. Shame on me right? Wrong!!!! This is major surgery and my health comes before anyones vacation. And the best part is, my husband and I just got back from my 6 week post op and without batting an eye my doctor approved me for an additional two weeks medical leave with puts me back to work on August 5th. My supervisor was CERTAIN that I would be back on Monday!! She apparently thinks she has the letters MD after her name!! My husband will notifiy my supervisor tomorrow. (I work in a bank and we are open Saturday mornings.) I am not going near that place until my 8 weeks are up. My doctors note also states that I am to only work 4 hours a day my first week back.

I'll be honest with you though, the insensitivity that has been displayed has really bothered me and I think affected my recovery. Don't let it do that to you. Someday one of your coworkers will probably be in your shoes, if not surgery for a hysterectomy perhaps surgery for something else and then they will understand.

You take care of yourself because your health come first. Don't hesitate to email me if you want because I honestly have "fresh first hand experience" with this type of issue.

Take Care,
Patti

I can relate to insensitivity. My supervisor and her friend ( who is also a supervisor) have constantly asked me if I wouldn't need just six weeks instead of eight. The"friend" questioned the information on my FML form and Disability form - like they think I am making it all up and that this isn't serious surgery.Talk about harassment - I reported both ot them to my manager and plan to have a chat with the employee advocate. I just don't need that kind of stuff right now, with trying to tie up things at work before I leave for vacation ( taking 2 weeks vacation before surgery)

I can relate, too. One of my co-workers is married to an ob-gyn, and according to her, there is no reason I shouldn't be back from my TAH-BSO within two weeks or so. Sheesh! She'd probably ilke it better if I came in straight from the recovery room dragging my IV pole.

I know it's hard, but try to ignore those morons. Not only are they insensitive, but they're incredibly selfish, and furthermore they just plain don't know what they're talking about.

My doctor came in with my pathology report three days after my surgery... he said if I had waited another 6 months, I would have had uterine cancer. Originally I was going to try a "chemical menopause" for 6 months, but then they found I had an umbilical hernia. That required immediate surgery, so they decided to go ahead with the hyst. (which my doctor said would have been required within a year). My doctor was overwhelmed and so thankful that I'd had a hernia that required surgery. Otherwise, I'd be facing chemo/radiation/ who knows.

Don't listen to any of those insensitive jerks. They are speaking out of ignorance. AND you don't deserve to live in pain one day longer than you have to!!!

Margie Hart
TAH/BSO June 10, 2002

Since they think you are having major surgery to take time off from work, I wonder which major organs they are going to have removed on their next vacation? Perhaps they have already had their s removed on the last one. That might explain the attitude problem. :hair:

I'm sorry that work is adding stress to an already stressful time. Hang in there. It sounds like you are handling this in a very professional manner.

Good luck with your upcoming surgery.
Jane

I can relate. I am so sick of the grief I am getting about it. I just wrote a long response and see that I lost it. Oh well. Do what you got to do!!!! They will get over it. Who do they think is doing their work while they are on vacation??

After reading your post of the treatment you have received from your coworkers I am thankful for the coworkers I have that rallied to cover my schedule and have been very supportive. They are like part of my family. I feel for you will their remarks, but explain this is not a vacation for you but a way to relieve your suffering that you have endured. It also will help you do your job much better afterwards. Explain this could happen to then or one of their family members. But keep your spirits up and do what is going to help you not what they want you to do. Look out for your wellbeing and do not let them get you down. Just keep your head up and smile.