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family at my house
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06-09-2010, 08:05 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 107
Hysterectomy: June 16th, 2010
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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family at my house
For the first time in my life, my bio dad and my in laws have chosen this surgery to want to come over and help out. I am honestly more stressed out over all of them being at my small home than I am my actual surgery.
I don't feel like I should be stressing myself out right now trying to make sure the adults are happy and such. I am even having to worry about making sure everyone feels needed. Yes, they are aware that everyone will be at my home at the same time.
I am wrong for almost wanting to tell everyone not to come? For not feeling like I should be stressing over all of this?
Has anyone else had this challenge to go along with their surgery? Any advice?
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06-09-2010, 08:11 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 155
Hysterectomy: April 13th, 2010
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: family at my house
All of my in laws and my own family wanted to be at the hospital during and after my surgery. I was stressing over that....so i can totally understand your stress level in dealing with guests. I would call it and say "thanks, but no thanks"....you have to take care of yourself. You won't regret telling them no. However in the process, if you want to make them feel needed, ask them to make food for your family that can be frozen. Then ask them to provide care for your children after your surgery at your requests. That way they feel as if they are helping without you dealing with house guests.
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06-09-2010, 08:12 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 399
Hysterectomy: March 25th, 2010
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: family at my house
Uugh... I wish I had the answers for you. Maybe ask them to come a few weeks after when you are feeling better and can "enjoy" your time with them a little more? Good luck to you.
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06-09-2010, 08:18 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 55
Hysterectomy: July 2nd, 2010
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: family at my house
I know how you feel. I have a big family. After my my gallbladder surgery I had family wanting to come (help) But I nicely said 'No Thanks". I felt a little bad but I felt I had to take care of me. Having family around I knew I could'nt really rest. I would have the feeling I had to entertain or the constant I don't want to bother you but do you have "A' blank? So maybe if you just get one person to come at a time, maybe that would be less stressfull. Just tell them how much you appreciate them for asking and caring and If they really want to help they can DROP off a dinner or lunch for the family. I am pretty lucky I will have the D/H and my eldest to help me.. Good luckk....
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06-09-2010, 08:20 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 502
Hysterectomy: March 30th, 2010
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: family at my house
make a list of what will need to be done, stick it on your fridge and they can come by and work on your "to-do" list while you're resting... its not a time for you to be hostessing, but i'd let them help...
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06-09-2010, 08:23 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 107
Hysterectomy: June 16th, 2010
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: family at my house
Thanks everyone.
All 3 of these people will be driving in from 2 different states...3.5-5.5 hours away.
I will admit that it will take a lot of stress of my dh by knowing that the kids and animals are being taken care of while he stays with me at the hospital (approx an hour from our home).
I also know that my emotions will be crazy the night before the surgery and I don't see anyone of my "guest" understanding why I'm a bit emotional.
It doesn't help that hubby and I are both very independent and do not do well with having much help around.
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06-09-2010, 08:47 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 126
Hysterectomy: July 26th, 2010
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: family at my house
I can understand that you and your husband is independent. Spme family members does not know where things go or belong. They also might not know how you run things at home. The best answer I can give is to take this one time to let family be family and just let them do whatever is needed to be done. Once you get to feeling better you can take control again. When you want to sleep go to sleep. Go to bed and shut the dor. Don't feel like you have to be hostess to them. They will be hostess to you.
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06-09-2010, 08:48 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 399
Hysterectomy: March 25th, 2010
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: family at my house
Just excuse yourself to your room for the evening. Blame it on the bowel prep if you have to, most people will understand that.
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06-09-2010, 08:53 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 85
Hysterectomy: May 24th, 2010
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: family at my house
Unfortunately my stress came from the fact that my mom and me are like oil and water. There is not a thing I do in my house that she agrees with. I was grateful that she wanted to be there and help but stressed because I knew that I would have to hear about everything that was not her way but yet could not tell her not to come.
I guess it depends on your relationship with these people and how confortable you are telling them how you really feel.
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06-09-2010, 08:59 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 126
Hysterectomy: July 26th, 2010
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: family at my house
Ashtoy, My mother is like that too. I tell her I like it the way it is or I know it needs to be clean. But also I turn my hearing aid off so I can't hear her. I m so lucky to not being able to hear without hearing aid. I thought I make you laugh.
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