Frustrated from lack of help

Had my surgery Monday 3/26 been home for two days and even getting someone too help me with showers or getting outta bed is like pulling teeth today I just sat and cried most the day I just don't understand what happened to my loving caring family it's like they have all turned a blind eye when I need them most I am still doing cleaning and laundry for them very carefully with my handy dandy grabber one piece at a time than when I ask for something it's like no one can even be bothered even
My dh is now gone more than 14 hours a day and comes home and just goes too bed without even seeing if I need anything how they can all be so inconsiderate is beyond me sorry too vent but just needed too get it out

I am so sorry you have to go through this with lack of support...
1st You can't be doing the cleaning and laundry!!!!! Take care of ONLY you if at all possible. I am sendings hugs and prayers that someone realizes you need some help....

Take care and please take it easy.

Thank you I do try my best and the cleaning and laundry are done on my walks through my house so I can at least stay mobile

Dreamer, Please take care of yourself. Let the cleaning and laundry go and rest. When they realize that you aren't going to do it, they may step up. You only have one chance to heal properly and if you don't it could mean more surgery. Maybe you can direct your DH to the misterhystersisters web site so he can get some information about what you are going through. Really hope things get better for you and that your family begins to help out.

I have done that with him even gave him the free book I got from here too read he said it was very informative about what I am going though but guess it just didn't sink in enough for him too help

You take care of you! The cleaning can wait, and when they run out of clean undies... they will do the laundry! Healing correctly is the most important thing you can do for both yourself and your family right now!

I have sdeen a few posts like this from other sisters and it just makes me sad. You should have the support you need and should be treated like a princess at this point. Any close girlfriends that might come give you what you need. I second that you need to let the cleaning go at this point. Its possible that they see you continuing with these chores and so think you are doing better than you are. You may also consider talking with DH about your needs not being met, the response may be a good one. ((((((Dreamer)))))))

Can you go stay somewhere else , at a friend's maybe and force your dh , etc. to take care of themselves... at least you need to only take take of you right now ...

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Originally Posted by Dreamer1976 Had my surgery Monday 3/26 been home for two days and even getting someone too help me with showers or getting outta bed is like pulling teeth today I just sat and cried most the day I just don't understand what happened to my loving caring family it's like they have all turned a blind eye when I need them most I am still doing cleaning and laundry for them very carefully with my handy dandy grabber one piece at a time than when I ask for something it's like no one can even be bothered even My dh is now gone more than 14 hours a day and comes home and just goes too bed without even seeing if I need anything how they can all be so inconsiderate is beyond me sorry too vent but just needed too get it out

Hi Dreamer, so sorry you have not gotten any support from your family. My DH wasn't too supportive but at least when I asked him to do things, he would do it. Since you had your surgery on the 26th, you need to rest and heal. I had the same surgery you did and I know how hard it is the first 2 weeks after surgery. Let the laundry go. Let the house be messy. I had dishes piled up in the sink (and there is a dishwasher in the kitchen!). I told my 6 and 8 year old kids to put clothes in the washer and all I had to do was put powder detergent in and push the button to wash. I waited till my DH come home and "order" him to take laundry upstairs. You need to stay in your pj and go to bed/couch. Do you have friends you can call to help with dinner or bring you anything you need?

Like other sisters said, you only have 1 chance to heal. If you rip the stitches now, you could bleed and go back to the hospital. Not healing well could lead to more surgeries down the road. Please take care of yourself.

{hugs}

This may sound rough but: don't do anything around the house. No laundry, no cleaning. If you get up and make a snack, leave your dishes on the counter when you're done. Somebody will do them eventually. Your family isn't doing anything to help you (and you need it) so why are you helping them (when they don't)!