Nervous....scared....second thoughts

Hello,

I am about a week out for my surgery. My doc has said that I need to have an abdominal hysterectomy since I have never had children. I have PCOS and have had a D&C for hyperplasia. I have pretty much quite having periods although I just had one a week ago after not having one for a year! I have pain pretty much every day.....although I tell myself it's really not that bad. I have worked through it and pretty much try to do everything through it.....although I would mostly like to just stay on the couch!

I am scared about my surgery......scared that I am making the wrong decision. I am so sad that I have never been able to have children and while I am 47 yrs old and probably would not have children at my age.....a hysterectomy makes it so final. I cry a lot......my husband has been mostly supportive although it gets frustrating for him.

And then I am scared about basic surgery things.....will the catheter hurt? how will I handle the pain? I have restless legs......will my legs bother me and I won't be able to stand or walk? UGH!

Thank you for reading......thank you for this forum......thank you for being my sisters in all of this......I appreciate it all.

First of all.... ((((Hugs)))) for you and I'm sorry you're dealing with so much.

Now let me see if I can put your mind at ease a little about the surgery. I have had 15 different surgeries including my LAVH. It is absolutely normal to be nervous/scared before having an operation - I have been before EVERY one of mine. Talk to your Dr and your anathesiologist about your concerns and fears - don't feel like your issues are silly because they won't feel that way. As far as pain management after your operation, be your own best advocate for this. You may not have as much pain as you are anticipating - but if you do, ASK for pain meds. BUG them if you have to. It's important to stay ahead of your pain so you can rest and heal properly. I was surprised that pain was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be - but the fatigue was a surprise. You will need to give yourself time to rest and heal properly. And in the end, it will all be worth it, I feel so much better than I have in ages.

This sight has been such a comfort to me during my recovery - it helped put my mind at ease to "talk" with the other Sisters who had their surgeries the same week as mine. You will have a thread set up specifically for your week - I would recommend that as soon as you feel up to it after surgery you find that thread. Also, ALL your Sisters will be waiting for you on the other side to lift you up when you are down and and celebrate with you when you reach a milestone.

Take care and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you soooo very much for your reply! I am crying as I write this....I feel as though I have so much to do to get ready before the surgery.....clean the house, shop for food and baggie clothes, make sure my doggies have care, etc, etc.......it's all a bit overwhelming.......AND, I don't have much energy at all to do much of it. I am trying to remember that none of this is the end of the world. It's just all a bit overwhelming......

Thank you again for your reply and your support......I do so appreciate it! All the best to you in your recovery!! Lots of hugs to you too!

It is overwhelming but trust me it will all work out in the end. I finally just let go and decided that even though dust bunnies reproduce at an alarming rate they aren't carnivorous and will patiently wait until you can sweep them up!!

Here are a few things that I found really helpful that you might want to have on hand (I wish someone had told me before I had my surgery):

Chapstick - for sure at the hospital because your lips will dry after surgery but also at home afterwards.

Large insulated cup w/ a straw - for icewater at home because you need to drink ALOT to flush out anesthesia and help avoid constipation.

Gas-X and a stool softener - think you might be able to figure out why!! Also, I never in a million years thought I would talk about gas pain and poop so much in my life!!! LOL!

Yoga pants, sports bra, and soft cotton tank tops - I literally lived in these for six weeks!! I was about ready to start a petition to make them black tie formal wear!

Heating pad - helps with a multitude of things from achey back to gas pains.

Pillows - all different sizes to help with propping you up while to sleep to protecting your tummy.

And right now just take some time to pamper yourself and try to relax if you can. Princesses in waiting need to be pampered a little bit too!

I understand your second thoughts. When I was told I needed a hysterectomy, I cried as soon as I got back to my car, and cried several more times after that. I really did not want one, but my gyn onc surgeon was very convincing about the reality of my condition (46 with large complex left ovarian cyst, numerous uterine fibroids, and the fact that my right ovary would probably do the same thing in less than five years). Luckily all tissues were benign.

I had days with severe doubts and concerns before the surgery. But, like cmcgal, decided to just take the plunge with the knowledge that in the long run it was for the best. I am still working through some mourning issues with my emotional side, but my logic side knows it is for the best. This is a tremendous loss - it is okay to feel like that. Give your self time to heal - body and soul.

This is a wonderful site, and I have found much healing here. My hyster recovery group is wonderful and supportive. Take care and good luck with your surgery.

Thank you so much for your response! The more I hear from sisters like you, the better I feel.....I so appreciate you taking the time to write.

All the best to you in your recovery!

Having a hyster is not an easy decision no matter what the reason you are having one for. Add to it your grief over losing the possibility of ever having a child and of course your having a hard time. There is a place on the forums boards that is specifically for grief and you might want to go there and get some support from the sisters on that forum too. We are all here for you and really do understand, but sometimes the lose of a possiblility (even a very remote one) is especially devastating to us and we need a little extra help. Don't be afraid to ask for it here. We all have something about this surgery that frightens us and got thru it the same way you will. One minute, then one hour, then one day at a time. Good Luck to you! (((HUGS)))

	Quote:
Originally Posted by izzy318 Hello, I am about a week out for my surgery. My doc has said that I need to have an abdominal hysterectomy since I have never had children. I have PCOS and have had a D&C for hyperplasia. I have pretty much quite having periods although I just had one a week ago after not having one for a year! I have pain pretty much every day.....although I tell myself it's really not that bad. I have worked through it and pretty much try to do everything through it.....although I would mostly like to just stay on the couch! I am scared about my surgery......scared that I am making the wrong decision. I am so sad that I have never been able to have children and while I am 47 yrs old and probably would not have children at my age.....a hysterectomy makes it so final. I cry a lot......my husband has been mostly supportive although it gets frustrating for him. And then I am scared about basic surgery things.....will the catheter hurt? how will I handle the pain? I have restless legs......will my legs bother me and I won't be able to stand or walk? UGH! Thank you for reading......thank you for this forum......thank you for being my sisters in all of this......I appreciate it all.

Hi izzy; welcome to the site..you will find so much support here.
I do not think you are making the wrong decision. You are living with so much pain now; surgery will help you..and you will have the QUALITY of your life improved as you will feel more like doing things instead of wanting to hide under a blanket on the couch. It may not feel like it now, but when you start recovery, you will be glad you did have surgery!

As for surgery itself; it's only natural to be afraid of the unknown. The catheter shouldn't hurt..mine was put in during surgery while I was sleeping, when I was awake, I didn't know it was there as I couldn't feel it..and when they took it out...never felt a thing!
I also have restless leg syndrome...and it did not make it worse or better..the only thing that I felt was a cramp like a "charlie horse" in one of my legs..but nothing that was horrible.

Trust your surgeon; have faith in him/her. They are doing what is best for you...and they certainly don't want anything to happen to you, either! If you do have concerns about the anesthesia, discuss that at your pre-op appoinment.

Good luck..and as one of the other sisters suggested, a good way to keep yourself sane, is to join a thread for the date of your surgery..and keep in touch with those sisters who will be experiencing things the same time as you...you offer support for one another as you are going through it at the same time..and of course, us "older sisters" are always here, too!

I should also echo Deanie regarding the sugical particulars. It is scary turning yourself over to a group of folks (this was my fourth surgery in my life, but my first major surgery). The doctors and nurses are always very kind, reassuring and professional. The catheter was placed while I was asleep, and I was very grateful for it during that first 18 hours after surgery - I did not want to get up to pee! I also had an epidural which allowed them to use less anesthetic. Not everyone wants them or can have them, but my anesthesiologist recommended it. Good luck and healing hugs from all sisters here....

Sending you a . The decision to go ahead with surgery, even when you know logically it is the right thing to do, is never easy. Like you, I'm a bit anxious counting down and have found great comfort here at HysterSisters.

I just had to comment that you mentioned your surgeon said you needed an abdominal hyst because you have never had children.
I am scheduled for LAVH and also have never had children, and know other women without childbirth that had laparoscopic approaches.

I think it always helps to calm the nerves a bit if there is as much clarity going into the surgery as possible, so I would go back to your surgeon and ask any and all questions, including all the options for the type of hysterectomy you will have as well as the reasoning for it.