TVH: Dealing with doctors

I am scheduled and understand I need to have the surgery - I just feel that when I talk to doctors(any doctor) I only get some of the information. They all say ask as many questions as you want but when you do start asking they back-off on the answers or make you feel like you are wasting their time??

I could try to find someone else to go to but options are very limited in rural communities. Nearest city 3hrs away.

Anyone else have to talk and talk again to their doctors? What kind of reaction did the doctor have?
How did you deal with them...

Advice please.

I have experianced that problem with Dr's. I know how frustrating it can be. I will share how I dealt with it. I orginally went to the Ob/gyn for a routine pap and the I went to a Dr. I had never seen before and chose her out of conveniance. Well she then tells me I need a hysterectomy needless to say I didnt see that coming. I was thinking more on the lines of ablation to deal with my heavy bleeding and fibroids. This particular Dr. was rushing me into scheduling a surgery date there was no sign or cancer or anything i didnt understand what the big rush was for. I made another appt. to go back in with all my arsinal of questions. I will say the best thing to do is write down all your questions before your appt. so you dont forget them. The response I got from this Dr. with most of my questions were vague and sarcastic. She wouldnt even tell me how many of these surgeries she had peformed up to that date. I also asked her about my sister donating her blood incase I needed a tranfusion. The Dr. wouldnt even help us or direct us on how to go about that. Then she dropped the big bomb and said she was going to cut vertically. I was completely freaked out by that. So after much research I discovered I had other options. I got 2 more opinions from other ob/gyn's. The 3rd Dr. offered the davinci robotic method, he spent over an hour with me answering all my questions and after all the research I had done I had alot of questions. He was not a sarcastic jerk when I asked him direct questions about his surgical skills. I also live in a rural area and this Dr. I chose to do the robotic surgery is an hour from my home. I would still chosen him if he was 3 hrs. from my home. Times have changed when it comes to patient Dr. relationships its not the 1980's anymore when our mothers had hysterectomies. Dr's are not Gods and with all the information out there available to patients we can now make well informed decisions about our healthcare. We dont have to walk into it blind. So in my opinion if a Dr. is not willing to answer all your questions or responding with very vague answers and making you feel like your taking up his time I think thats disrepectful. The most important aspect of this whole process for me is that I feel comfortable with my Dr. and can be myself and not be afraid of asking what ever questions or concerns that I have. I hope thats helps you. Best Wishes.

If a doctor is a jerk, you don't want to trust that person with your care. And if you don't have cancer, you have TIME to go get second (and third!) opinions, and find a doctor you trust.

I fired my first OB-GYN that I went to during this past month when the pain got too bad to handle anymore. He was rough during the pelvic exam (I was literally yelping in pain), had the bedside manner of a troll, and was willing to remove the ovarian cyst, but before he'd consider treating the menstrual pain and fibroids, he wanted me to go see a urologist. Why? Allegedly, he wanted to rule out "interstitial cystitis", but I had NO symptoms for the condition! Plus, it was a diagnosis of exclusion, which means you rule out everything ELSE first before diagnosing interstitial cystitis. And then I found out the person he wanted me to see in the urology clinic was a buddy of his (drumming up business, what?), and I said no way. In addition, despite the fact that I'm trim and athletic, I exercise five or six times a week when my medical problems aren't overtaking my life, and eat the way doctors WISH Americans would eat... he told me I need to lose 20 pounds! I'm at my ideal weight! Believe me, I'd had enough of him.

Found a different OB-GYN, explained everything to her, told her what I was looking for in a treatment plan, and she listened. During my initial exam and pre-op, she and I discussed everything in detail. She spent plenty of time with me, and was open to what I needed for my long-term quality of life. I e-mailed her lists of questions over the past two weeks, everything from the technical (what is the chance of damaging blood supply to my ovaries and triggering early menopause?) to the functional (what are the criteria for discharge from the hospital) to the nerve-wracking (am I going to wake up with a urinary catheter?). She answered everything with good detail, and encouraged me to e-mail if I had any more questions. She'd respond to all of my questions same-day.

If your doctor makes you uncomfortable, fire him. There are other options out there. You shouldn't have to trust your body to someone who makes you uneasy. Talking to your doctor should ease your worries by giving you empowering information... not make you feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Do what's best for you, and trust yourself. Call other clinics, even if they're further away, and when you find an OB-GYN that you trust, leave a message on the first doctor's voicemail saying, "You're fired." It'll be very empowering and satisfying.

I set up appointments with three doctors, ended up replacing #3 with one #1 sent me to. #2 was the proverbial troll, argued with me "but you're so young," and deeply hurt me during the exam. I left her office bawling in pain.
#1 I met in his office, clothes on, first. He listened to my tale of woe and my absolute determination to have a hysterectomy and to remove both ovaries. He wasn't too happy about removing both, so we made a deal where if the right ovary was clean and had no cysts, it could stay, but if it had cysts and other stuff, it'd go. He wanted #3 to give a review to determine if DaVinici robot was needed, decided not, and #3 quickly stopped arguing when he realized how severe the monthly cycles were.
I was able to immediately trust #1, and within the course of the visit, trust #3. I left a bad review of #2 on Yelp and let the insurance company know that any treatments she ordered were not authorized by me and should not be funded. #2 had indeed ordered some sort of shot treatment despite my telling her staff I wasn't going to be coming back then had the nerve to call me and ask why I wasn't taking the treatment. That was a fun call; I was polite though.

Bottom line, even if you live out in the middle of nowhere, you can travel to get good treatment and it is worth doing so. I flew in from out-of-state three times this year to get surgeries I needed, one time flying from Los Angeles to Tampa. My reward is that life is worth living again and I'm in little to no pain, don't feel sick constantly, and I'm ready to get a job instead of sitting at home watching my life fade away. You're worth it!

Hey Chocolate, you sound a lot like me. I didn't need to travel, but I've dealt with all the "but you're so young" horse poo, the condescending attitudes, and so on.

But just remember that with a lot of folks, long-distance travel is very expensive and is financially impossible. And with others, their insurance gives them pitifully limited options. Sad but true. I know that I'm incredibly lucky - my insurance has approved everything I've needed this year without any fuss at all, including treatment for a knee that HAD been injured ten years ago, but started aching again. But from what I know, that's rare. My OB-GYN was amazed that my insurance approved the TLH plus two days of inpatient care immediately, without any sort of fuss. Apparently, that's not true for everyone.

Every person is worth the best care possible, but when your options are limited by insurance and money, it's far more difficult.

Thank you all for such quick responses -
I can really relate to moore8850 - my story is that I went in March for annual pap - no problems and have seen this doctor for years.
When I realized about 3-4 weeks ago I was having a prolapse I quickly made appt to be seen. When I got there she did the exam and confirmed the uterine prolapse and we talked about options - then she told me she is relocating and will not be able to do surgery She made suggestion for other practice in the area and they quickly got me in in a week to be seen.
New doctor very nice - made more suggestions about a/p repairs which was new to me and I left knowing I needed surgery. I spoke to new doctor the night of the appt - she called to go over things and I was so wound up by then I couldnt think straight - so we left conversation with go ahead and schedule (which they did immediately) and I am grateful for this because now I am having the "explain this to me again syndrome"and a little freaked out.
My concerns are that I have not had any issues of any kind with my bottom till now - and I dont want any...the doctor is brand new to me and I will not see her again till the day of surgery...
I called the office with questions this week as we got the pre op appts set up and she called back that night which I know says alot...
But when I spoke to her she started using all medical jargon and I had a hard time understanding it and absorbing all the risks. I was a little uncomfortable and want her to know more of my background with other issues I have.
This site has helped clear up some of the questions I am nervous for having to move so fast on this process and now that I have had some time to research I just want to sit down again and go over things.
Am I being to demanding? Should I try to see her again or will that be questioning her too much???

Ditto what Moore8850 stated. Keeping looking for another doc. You don't need a doc that will not take a few minutes to answer your questions. Best wishes!

Shawnlee take your time if your not in any danger or unbearable pain. I literally spent 20 or so hours researching my condition and options. Im also fornutate to have a best friend that is a nurse practitioner and a sister as a RN. I call them "my nurses on call". Whenever some kind of major medical issue comes up I ask them for thier professional opinions. If they dont know the answer they go to their co-workers to find it for me. We cant forget that People become Dr's and take oaths to care for and help people. But dont fool yourself by thinking they all dont do it for that six figure or higher income too. Did they earn it, most Dr's do and are in the field for the right reasons....helping people. Unfortanetly some lose sight of thier the individual patients before them and just run thier practices with a buisness mindset. I work in a hospital and have seen first hand what arrogant jerks some of them can be. If this new Dr. your speaking with cannot explain things in lamens terms, then tell her. Dont be intimidated, like all the other ladies said in this thread its your body and you need to be completely informed with everything about your condition and comfortable with the person who is going to peform the procedure. We all shop around and research when it comes to what new appliance, car or TV were going to buy and expect the best customer service. Shouldn't we have the same standards when it comes to our health and our bodies? For crying out loud we are letting someone put us under general anethesia and insert foriegn objects into our bodies and cut out our organs. I surely want that person to have my best interests in mind and that includes nothing but the upmost respect and highest quality of customer service. If the Dr. cannot provide it then keep looking till you find one that will. I believe that its what the whole healthcare arena is coming to. We live in the information age and patients want to be empowered with as much knowledge a lay person can understand so they can to make the right healthcare choices for themselves. The pharmecutical companies are blasting us with knowledge about thier drugs everyday via thier TV commercials telling us to visit our Drs. and ask them to prescibed us. Hospitals spend massive amounts of money on advertising through mailers, commercials and billboards to get our buisness. Why aren't Drs. marketing their practices with info on thier surgical or medical skills and knowledge as well as high quality customer service and patient satisfaction? It would certainly put them in a position of being held accountable and weed out the egotiscal jerks. Okay ladies I will get off my passionate soapbox now. My best wishes and regards to you Shawnee I hope you are able to find a Dr. that will calm your fears and put you at ease.

I can feel your pain. FIND ANOTHER DR. My obgyn is awesome (especially when I was pregnant). I literally have a zillion questions for him to answer for me this time. He ALWAYS ALWAYS makes the time to answer any questions I have. He gets tough me when I need it (like when I was pregnant with my last daughter and had preeclampsia AGAIN. The MFM wanted to induce at 34 weeks and I was like no way! I would have had to go to the local childrens hospital and my ob did not have privliges there. Plus it was an hour away. He said I will talk to her when she comes in on Tuesday. This was thursday. When I came in, he said you agree to an amnio and delivery on Friday if her lungs are mature or you will do lab tests every 2 days till we do an emergency delivery. I agreed to the amnio much to his relief and I had her that Friday. That week was the start of escalating bps. so it was a good decision).

This time with the hysterectomy. I already knew I was out of options. I have tried various drugs, laps, excision lap, IUD (it perforated), etc. So I knew going in no options. He tried to come up with a few more, but we agreed I was just prolonging the inevitable.

I know going in he will answer my questions even if I go over my appt time.