The cracks are showing and everyone is annoying me!

Only 331/2 hours to go and I am so fed up! I've been up and down and then calm for the last week or so especially after I found this site, it's wonderful and has really helped. Then this week it is school holidays and I wanted to spend quality time with my DD and my neice and have fun to take my mind off things! The boiler broke and waiting for the plumber Monday put paid to the first day and then he had to order the part and come back today to fix it so took care of another day! DD who is 9 has suddenly turned into the most argumentative child ever! I've had three visitors today and two of them really got on my nerves - one of them was my mother! Mother is a hypochondriac aged 62 but had everything in the medical dictionary and compares my op with her keyhole gall bladder surgery! She came to show me her conjunctivitis - could I care less? No! She was also kind enough to point out she doesn't know anyone who has come out of hospital lately without getting an infection! I just told her to shut up I was frightened enough! DH is normally so good but tooo laid back and I need to know who is taking DD to school and picking her up and he thinks he can just sort everything very last minute. I won't be home till Tuesday and suggested my neice pick her up from school and he said he would do but I said you'll have to pick me up from the hosp and I was told I would just have to wait! Five days and I will be so looking forward to coming home and I will just have to wait! Then my oldest friend who's husband left her for another woman 3 years ago came! She is so jealous now of new partner it is not healthy and they have such a turbulent relationship. For 3 years I have been there for her and listened and advised and now she is with an absolute pig of a man and thinks nobody is perfect and settles for second best but is so unhappy and all I hear is every detail of everything she is mad about. I just did not want to listen to her today. I have butterflies and palpitations on and off and can't think of anything else but getting this over with. Everyone is saying they will ring me tomorrow and I am going out cause I can't do with listening to their problems as well! I am the strong one for everyone and I am fed up I want a shoulder instead of being everybody elses! Another thing is 2 days after I cleaned house from top to bottom I cleaned again today and thought they just won't see it! It will drive me mad I am going to have to buy some blinkers cause there is no way I am going to hamper my recovery and end up having to go back for a repair! - God what a rant! Can't help it feel so mad and I have completely lost my sense of humour! So sorry to moan but normally I need to be in company when I am feeling down and it takes my mind off things but now I feel I want to be on my own! Help! Sorry sorry but don't want any more stress and yet mine seems nothing to others am I being selfish?

Go ahead and rant and rave! This is YOUR time. We are here to listen to you sympathetically and without judgement. Most of us have been there too. If no one dies - its been a good day......

I think you are holding back. You need to let it out or burst! I feel your pain, and I am right there with you. This is a big deal. The people around us need to understand that. I finally told some in my family that I needed them to stop talking and listen to me, because this is a BIG deal and I need help. They did. I don't know if it will work for you, but the shock that came from me saying "stop talking" worked wonders. In any case, I don't think you are being selfish. Don't apologize for sharing your pain with us. You need all the support you can get.

summerscoming,
wow. you have had a day haven't you? I would just stop answering the phone and the door. Leave a note on it saying you don't want visitors. I sometimes answer the phone and even if it is my best friend I will say "I am just feeling crabby today, I will call you when I am more myself." They understand.

Hang in there! Try to spend some time pampering yourself. Take a long hot bath (it will be awhile before you can take a bath) Eat something you usually forgo due to calories, etc. Go for a nice walk or go shopping. Retail therapy can be wonderful!!! Hugs, Raymo

This site is perfect for ranting, having a tirade, venting, raging, commiserating, and crying, as well as laughing, enjoying, sharing, and learning. Just let go...I hope you come through the next 33 hours and the days that follow with grace and peace. Know that I will burn a candle for you tonight. Take care. t

Oh God love all of you - you've made my cry! But you've made me smile too! Thank you all for being there and being so kind - it was just the medicine I needed. As for doing what you're not supposed I am on my 3rd glass of wine but I think I need this to sleep tonight. Thank you xx

I'm having a tall coke with Early-times tonight....

Enjoy your wine, sleep well, and tomorrow is another day. I hope all goes wonderfully for you at the Castle.

Enjoy - I feel so much better - thank you x

Summerscoming,
I am sure that wine will help you forget about all your anxiety! Now, I know it is late there across the pond, so head to the tub, take a long bath and then off to bed for you!! hugs Raymo