Losing myself as a woman

I had a laparoscopy done in 2000 with the choice of having a partial hysterectomy then for problems with fibroids. I now have 2 fibroids the size of grapefruits along with a ton of pain and naseau. I am now being given two options, a myomectomy or a hysterectomy. I have done some research and given my history I know that a hysterectomy is the answer to relieving my pain once and for all. But, I feel like I am losing my womanhood. I am only 34. I dont want to go through menopause. Do I have to? If I keep my ovaries will I have problems with hormones? I have another doctors appt. on monday but I am so scared and feel so alone right now. My DH is trying to understand but he doesnt. My mother doesnt have these problems and neither does anyone else I know. I am scared to death. Not of the surgery itself, but of what is going to happen to my body and mind afterwards. Please help!

Hi Ccinhershey,

That is good that you are getting a 2nd opinion. I got 2 opinions myself. Get a 3rd opinion if need be. The more information the better.

I had fibroids...so I can understand some of what you are going through. Deciding to have a possible hysterectomy for fibroids can seem daunting sometimes. I had a little voice going...why me???...for awhile. It just seemed so unfair.

I can understand your feeling of losing your womanhood. So many of us Hyster Sisters go through some of the same feelings. I did...and then I realized I was choosing to lose (remove) my uterus..not my womanhood. I was still going to have my XX chromosomes..that made me a woman...after my hyst.

Just take some time right now and ~research~. Research a myomectomy if preserving your fertility is important. And research the different types of hysts. Some are abdominal (TAH,SAH), some are vaginal (TVH) and some are laparoscopic (LAVH, LSH, TLH). Have questions for your Drs.

As far as your ovaries...research that too. I was 46 when I had my hyst and I decided to keep my ovaries since they were healthy and ovarian cancer does not run in my family. I am 3 yrs. post-op now and I have not gone through menopause yet. My ovaries are still working. If your ovaries are healthy, you might consider keeping them. The ovaries secrete important hormones that help with the bones, skin and hair. And newer studies are showing that the ovaries secrete their hormones well into menopause.

In the end...do what is *best* for you. That is what is most important.

Sending best wishes~

Mary

I had my hyst at 33, with ovaries removed as well, and I have to tell you I've felt like more of a whole woman since than I ever did before the surgery. Before, I was a slave to my ovaries, my mood swings and pain kept me from doing so many things - making friends, exercising, having sex, basically participating in life as a woman.

Since the surgery, I have so much more energy, I am less anxious and more outgoing, sex is great and I am once again participating in my own life, growing and moving forward instead of just existing.

I know I am on the successful end of the spectrum as far as hysterectomy and hormone replacement outcomes go, but I just wanted to let you know that it can happen. I am so thankful I had the surgery - I haven't felt this good in a long time, and I feel younger now than I did ten years ago. If your ovaries are not causing you any trouble , you might want to keep them. But if you do have to lose them, it's not the end of the world

Your womanhood comes from your heart, your soul, your thoughts and your actions, not from your uterus and ovaries.

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Originally Posted by ccinhershey I am only 34. I dont want to go through menopause. Do I have to? If I keep my ovaries will I have problems with hormones?

In my humble opinion, don't remove your ovaries unless you need to medically. It sounds like you don't based on what you told us. Also, as other sisters said above, there are many options on "how" you have the hysterectomy and what you utimately have taken out. Some more invasive than others...meaning some with quicker recoveries than others. There is so much information here that it will make your head hurt, but research all of your options!

I am also 34, in need of a hysterectomy and other stuff, but I have and continue to do research on the type of surgeries I want/can have. Like you, I am also terrified of losing the sense of my womanhood, my sexuality, & my femininity!! But, but, but...my physical health is more important right now. DH and I can work on my sense of self once I'm healed.

Talk to your dr., research here, talk to DH...These resources are invaluable to you during this time. Also, it might be prudent to see if there is a counselor in your area that specializes in mental health recoveries after surgery or even better a hysterectomy. Could be worth a look.

Good luck!