Mother in law is driving me nuts...

I wonder if anyone elses family has some members that are a little too concerned? My mom in law can be hyper in the best of situations. However, now she is off the charts! I have huge lists of things to do in my garden and house just to keep me busy until surgery and she found out. My DH let the cat out of the bag and now she thinks she must help me anyway she can. It is sweet but, NO! Maybe some of you ladies could use her? I will farm out her energy. She wants to be at the hospital on surgery day and it worries me since everytime I talk to her my blood pressure spikes (she talks very fast without breathing, not sure how she does it). I would like calm that morning.

Ah well, it is nice she loves me and that is what I will concentrate on...

You're not alone! My MIL absolutely LOVES to gossip about the medical problems of everyone she knows. She loves to moan on and on to anyone who will listen to her problems too. The day she cornered me at a family cookout and out of nowhere loudly announced to me that she had horrible vaginal problems! There is a time and a place for everything and that wasn't it! Too bad I'd already had a few glasses of wine in me by then and I flatly said I didn't want to hear about it. I felt bad, but geez!

Anyhoo - I haven't told her or anyone in my hubby's side of the family because I don't want to be the object of her medical gossip du jour. I cringe as I can just hear her saying, "Oh poor Jennifer - such a horrible thing - and at such a young age - and now she'll NEVER have children!" UGH!

My heart goes out to you! Perhaps my MIL and your MIL can have lunch. Your MIL can feed out the energy while mine sucks it up! LOL!

~ jen

Do what I did with my Mom....I love you and I appreciate all the offers of help but if you want to aid my recovery...the best thing is to leave me alone and let me ASK. Your hovering although well intentioned causes me unneeded stress. She was very understanding and trusted that I would ask when needed, and I did a little but the best help in my recovery was being left alone in my own home in my own bed without her hovering. I was able to do many things on my own and a market was literally next door that cooked etc. I had all the convenience.s

My mil wanted to come up to and I let her but not until after the surgery. My dh was great and said I just needed to be with the kids the night before and then say goodbye in the morning. So they came up the day after surgery while I was still in the hospital.

zoecatt,

I can understand how you feel! I'm not married and my mother and aunt both wanted to go to the hospital with me. They both love to gossip and tell everyone everything! I made a point to tell everyone at the hospital that asked me to sign papers, that unless there is a true emergency, my medical information was not to be given out to my family. With the laws the way they are, I didn't think that I should have to make that request, but I wanted to be sure my info wasn't given out.

The morning after my operation, I woke up to a phone call from my brother who told me how much my uterus and fibroids weighed! All day I got phone calls like that. This information should have been kept between my doctor and I. I'm sure my mother called everyone in her phone book and shared my information. I still can't believe that this information was told to others before it was given to me!

So, if having your MIL at the hospital is going to make you uncomfortable in ANY way, you just have to tell her. This is about you, not her. Just calmly tell her that you only want your husband to accompany you to the hospital. You don't have to give any explanation why you don't want her there. If you want to give one, you can just say that you have some last minute things to discuss with your hubby. Also tell her that you won't feel up to having any visitors for a day or two. Ask her if she can come to the house and make dinner the day you come home. You'll may be happy she's there.

Good luck and keep us updated! I hope all goes well for you!

ah ha ha ha! Gotta LOVE family!
My Mom has gone on a crusade to let everyone know that they need to pray for me and call me everyday to check my wellbeing because I will be having all my girlparts removed for cancer ~ which I DO NOT have! I am having a hyst because endo has returned.
I have had to convince the rest of my family that this is "no big deal" kind of surgery...which gives me no family to confide in about my worries and fears about what they will find when they get in there.
Rose

My hubby and I were talking about it last night. We agree that his parents will be hurt if they're left out. So, we're taking them out for lunch today and I'm going to tell them then. My surg is on Monday. I'm going to flat out tell my MIL that she can tell my sister-in-law (her daughter) but NO ONE else. This should keep her gossipy nature from making her burst her seams and allow her to blab to one person. Wish me luck! ~ jen : )

Yes, you gotta love family! Ha ha, thanks for the laughs ladies! I keep taking things way too seriously. This Pre-Op time is like the worst pms. I could just chew out everyone, not good. I usually just laugh off her crazy interference. The MIL does not really talk about what she is thinking so maybe the whole thing of her not getting kids from us is really bugging her. Ah well, it wasn't going to happen anyway so it is time to get over it.

Good luck at lunch today Jen! I will see if I can ship my MIL to WI to visit with your MIL. Or maybe they could meet in the middle somewhere.
And best of luck Monday!

CapeMay, Oh my gosh! People calling you and letting you know how much your uterus weighed? That is nuts! Oh dear. I did not think about how all my MIL's coworkers and family in florida and her vet must know all about my golf ball fibroids. Poor people, having to listen to that!

Well, this isn't terribly kind but the best description I have for my MIL is a hyper chihuahua on espresso. My DH knows what I think and his biggest fear is that I will tell her, I have no problem doing it. EEEk. Family!!

Good luck everyone and stay in touch!

Zoecat (Linda)

If you get trannies, spike her coffee (decaf, of course!)

I told my in-laws at lunch today. MIL gave me a horrified face and gasped dramatically. I immediately cut in and told her it was all okay and I'm fine and I don't want any pity or drama. She was very good, calmed down and didn't ask any questions. Instead she told me about how easy hers was and how she over exherted herself in the weeks after because she felt so good. Whew!

Then on the way out of the restaurant one of the waitresses said hi to me (my hubby and I go to this place all the time) and my MIL spilled the beans to her. Right in the middle of the restaurant! Yep, ya gotta love 'em. One good thing came of it. The waitress had a lap procedure done at the same hospital and with the same doc as me. Small world. Well she loved the doc and had a great hospital experience.

So on the way home I gently asked my MIL to not tell anyone except my hubby's sister. She emphatically announced that she'd never tell anyone. Then I pointed out what she did in the restaurant. She had no clue. What cha gonna do? At least she didn't offer to come stay with me. She just said to call if I need anything. : )

~ jen