dVH/RALH: freaking out

Today was my last day of work, I was crying as I left the building, I'm not a cryer. The next day can't go by fast enough, I am trying to keep myself busy. I have cleaned the entire house and washed every piece of clothing we own. All I have to do tomorrow it pack my bag and do groceries, which isn't a good thing because it gives me more time to think. When I think, over analyze, over react and get super anxious! At least I'll have the super amazing bowel prep to keep me busy tomorrow afternoon. I know this is the best thing for me and I will feel a thousand times better once it's done, but the "Debby Downer" in me makes me think the worst.

I am sending you some in the hopes they make you feel a tad better. Just remember that it is in the doctor's and nurses' interest that you have a good outcome. At least, that is what I told myself as I was being wheeled to the operating room. You have the right idea in keeping busy until then.

Thank you for the kind words, tomorrow is going to be the longest day ever. None of my sisters understand what I'm going through and my mother doesn't seem to care either, so I'm going a little crazy because there is no one to talk to around me who has been in my shoes.

I totally understand. I had a friend who, I am sure, was sick and tired of hearing me about this but bless her soul, she never said a word to me about shutting up. There are quite a few sisters on other threads who are feeling the same way. Be sure to post on theirs.

Hi, I was the same way before surgery. I've always been a 'what if' kind of person. By the time surgery rolled around I was just as terrified to get it done as I was of what would happen if I didn't get it done lol. Hang in there!