Do you go through periods of sadness while you are waiting?

If I don't wig out at the last moment I am scheduled for a TAH on July 16th. I am no stranger to abdominal surgeries. I pretty much know what I am facing. It took me a while to choose between this and UAE. While I feel some confort having made the decision... I also just suddenly felt overwhelmingly sad out of nowhere yesterday. I guess sad that I have to go through this. Fearful of the unknown and of whether or not keeping my ovaries is possible.. Ect.. Ect. I really don't want to be this preoccupied with this till July 16th. On an awesome note.. I love my doctor. It was a long search, but she is amazing! This is a great place with so many giving people. Thanks!

I felt sad from the moment I heard the hysterectomy word. I tried to explain it, but most people don't understand. It is a part of me, I feel it is an intimate part of me. It is connected to my gender, my identity as a woman. I know that having a hysterectomy doesn't make me less a woman, but I am sad at the thought of loosing it, ( and my ovaries and tubes).
My emotions have been all over the place. I've been so angry, sad, scared, worried.... on and on..
Know that you are not alone in the roller coaster of emotions. July 16th is a long time to wait, I've been waiting for 4 weeks, and the waiting is taking it's toll. I'm down to 6 days, and will be glad to just get it over with.
Good luck to you.

Yes, I definitely went through periods of sadness, but it didn't last all the time. In my case, the sadness was connected to the fact that all my life, I'd had a really horrible relationship with my womb. I never wanted children, so all my reproductive system meant to me was a source of pain and mess each month.

I had been hoping that in the years following menopause (my last period was in 2009) my womb and I could come to be friends. I was - and am - sad that this will never happen now.

Now as to being preoccupied, that's another story LOL. I work in tax preparation and our tax season here ended on April 30, four weeks before my surgery. So for those four weeks, my entire life seemed to revolve around Getting Ready for the Hysterectomy. Everything got sorted into:
1) I can get this over with now and get it out of the way; or
2) This is happening during my recovery period - it's someone else's problem; or
3) I can put off dealing with this until after my recovery period, so I'm not worrying about it.

By comparison, the "other side" is quite peaceful!

Hi PhotoChick44 -

What you are experiencing is very normal. This is one tough surgery to process and to contemplate. It is different than any other surgery, and is much more intimate. You are not alone in this.

:hugs2u:

Cincinurse--best of luck to you! You don't have long to wait now. I too feel like its connected to who I am. I know so many would find that comment stupid, but I cant explain it. I fought so long to keep fertility intact and went through a lot to get my wonderful God given gift of my two boys. This seems wrong! LOL
Surprised--Im sorry you have had a rough go of it. What is your treatment plan right now? I guess you probably dont really know do you? Take care of yourself right now.
Marestail--thanks....this is a great board!

I can totally identify with EVERYTHING you posted here. I am totally on this roller coaster too. I cried through an entire church service Friday night. It was almost as if I were in mourning. I didn't really understand it until I read this post. Thank you for helping clear things up in my mind. My surgery is tomorrow and you all are making it much easier.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by cincinurse I felt sad from the moment I heard the hysterectomy word. I tried to explain it, but most people don't understand. It is a part of me, I feel it is an intimate part of me. It is connected to my gender, my identity as a woman. I know that having a hysterectomy doesn't make me less a woman, but I am sad at the thought of loosing it, ( and my ovaries and tubes). My emotions have been all over the place. I've been so angry, sad, scared, worried.... on and on.. Know that you are not alone in the roller coaster of emotions. July 16th is a long time to wait, I've been waiting for 4 weeks, and the waiting is taking it's toll. I'm down to 6 days, and will be glad to just get it over with. Good luck to you.

I'm only sad or maybe more fearful I think when I think about the pain. I've had the c-sections, the second of which opened up 6 days post-op due to a hematoma. The doctor should have put a drain in but didn't, I only can assume he didn't have time because my son was being taken early and was 6 weeks premature. My third c-section he put a drain in after he cleaned lots of scar tissue. I didn't need the drain this time. I have so much pain with periods and in-between now that I can't wait for my surgery date. I already take Advil and Tylenol #3's pretty much daily from pain and migraines. None of my post-op recoveries have been what u call pain controlled due to my tolerance to narcotics. I too fought for my fertility, my second child was a miracle after being diagnosed with PCOS and trying fertility drugs for years which failed. I miraculously got pregnant after I sold my baby stuff! They said it would be a miracle to get pregnant. He was my little sickly premie miracle. Now he's six and a beautiful healthy living little boy that u would never guess was ever so little and sick. My third section was very painful but I have another daughter to show for it. From these surgeries I developed a fibroid and adenomyosis. The long wait is because I have to go out of town for surgery as our home hospital where I am an OBS/medsurg RN doesn't do gynaecological surgeries. I'm hoping like my mom that after my TAH that my headaches are less frequent and more tolerable. I'd really like to reduce my use of pain medication. I am sad at times, more because of the unknown, will they take my ovaries? He's not planning to but u never know what will happen. If there are problems he will take them. I'm not looking forward to menopause at 42.
Good luck to you and chin up. It's only an organ that is useful for awhile. Your uterus does not define who you are, you do. Hugs from Ontario. 😊

	Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoChick44 Surprised--Im sorry you have had a rough go of it. What is your treatment plan right now? I guess you probably dont really know do you? Take care of yourself right now.

Right now I'm in the post-surgery lull - sitting in the sun to read, playing with my cats, going for gentle walks of ever-increasing length. I'm finding this part pretty easy!

I've got a hand's length of staples down my belly which are getting replaced by steri-strips at a local clinic on Tuesday. Not a moment too soon, either - they itch fiercely.

Then two weeks from Tuesday I meet with my gyn onc to discuss the path lab results and decide where we go from here. Could be just frequent exams, could be radiation, could be (but is less likely to be) chemo.

Of course, anything could happen, but I'm cautiously hopeful. My gyn onc already said that from what he saw during surgery, things look good. And the CT scan and cancer antigen blood tests I had pre-surgery showed no indications that the cancer had spread beyond my uterus.

I *may* (or may not) be cancer-free even as I sit here typing this. I'll find out! :-)