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Hoping last vent
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02-14-2005, 09:56 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 499
Hysterectomy: March 7th, 2005
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Hoping last vent
Just want to . I could only eat about 3 forkfuls of chicken salad, and a bite of a bagle, and a cookie. My nerves are a mess. Sisters, I'm trying so hard, I wish I could just have a
But what does that solve? I've cried enough tears to bottle up a wine bottle and then some. I'm taking the Xanax, but it's my tummy that is in knots, and not sure if it is the anxiety or just the endo/adhesions/mass, etc... Don't know what else to take to calm my tummy down.
Please bear with me, I don't know what I would do if I couldn't vent here. Family knows I'm nervous, and they try so much to keep me grounded, tonight it just seems so hopeless. I don't want to take it out on ANYONE, just need to do something now. It's getting to be too much. I just want to love my Shiloh the rest of the night. I'm tryng to see the sunshine at the end of this rainbow, all I can do is 'grin and bear it'. Why is it that I can handle this at times and other times I just want to throw my hands up in prayer and give it ALL over. I'm so sick of this. It's gotten so much worse, it's the anxiety. I NEVER thought I would freak out like this. Sorry.
Thanks for reading if you did.
s all around sisters, and thanks for just being here for me to vent. I wish I could just sleep until Thursday and cry so much, just get it all out. I know I'm making it worse when I feel like this, I'm trying the best I can. Sometimes it just doesn't work.
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02-14-2005, 10:14 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 36
Hysterectomy: February 24th, 2005
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Hoping last vent
Hi AngelsAnswer
I'm up and can't sleep either. Got lots and lots going through my head. I go in on the 17th too. Also took a xanax...but WIDE awake.
Go ahead and vent...maybe I can help...I can sure listen.
I had to remind myself this morning that God would not put more on us than we could bear and that whether I remember it or not HE IS IN CONTROL. I believe in miracles and I also believe that all things are possible, through Christ. He promised never to leave us or forsake us. We are truly blessed...however, I go through my days of total forgetfullness and fear and worry. Guess we're human, huh? (smile)
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02-14-2005, 10:15 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 499
Hysterectomy: March 7th, 2005
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Hoping last vent
I'm sorry, just ignore the whining again. I am such a mess, this is ridiculous. Need to go to bed. I'm starting to cry, need to get it out.
Thanks
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02-14-2005, 10:19 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 499
Hysterectomy: March 7th, 2005
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Hoping last vent
Hi Gunnie, missed your post. I'm so sorry you feel this way as well. Is it not the pits. I remind myself the same thing as often as I can...that God would not put more on us than we could bear and that whether I remember it or not HE IS IN CONTROL. I believe in miracles and I also believe that all things are possible, through Christ. He promised never to leave us or forsake us.
These times will come and go, I just feel like a drama queen and I don't mean to, I'm just really scared. We're only human and I need to quit being so darnhard on myself. What time is your surgery? In the morning I think? How many mg of Xanax do you take, may I ask? I take 2mg at a time. It's a trying time for ALL of us, I know. SOme are just better able to handle it all maturely.
Just going to try and go to bed soon.
I'm here for you
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02-14-2005, 10:34 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 36
Hysterectomy: February 24th, 2005
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Hoping last vent
Hug and prayers backatcha!
I will find out tomorrow what time my surgery is on thurs. I will be in a military hospital...so they set things up a little different.
I only take 1/2 of 1mg so maybe I need more, but I still have to go to work tomorrow until my pre-admit appt.
Hang in there...we will both be back home and this will all be behind us by the weekend! And I'm betting that we will be like most of the other sisters - glad we did it and wondered why we waited so long!(smile)
Sleep well and sweet dreams!
Your hyster sister
Gunnie
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02-15-2005, 05:49 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 192
Hysterectomy: March 3rd, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Hoping last vent
Just caught your post, Angel. Here's a big for you! I'll set my calendar to pray hard for you on Thursday, and that you'll get some peace and rest well prior to then. Hold on to that, sweetie, and remember to cast your cares on Him. You're going to be just fine.
Gunnie, I take it you're active duty? I'm an old AF sergeant myself (well, 20 years ago anyway, but you can't take the NCO out of the girl). I never had anything but outstanding service in the base hospitals, and I wish the best for you. I'll be praying for you too!
Hope to hear soon that you both are doing just wonderfully.
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02-15-2005, 09:40 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 499
Hysterectomy: March 7th, 2005
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Hoping last vent
(((Mary and Gunnie))) Thank you so much, the support means the world to me right now. Gunnie, I pray your appt went well, let us know how it goes when you can. My friend Rebecca and her hubby are stationed in Vegas, he is in Korea now. They set up things a little differently, I hear ya. I had to wait so long because my former obgyn was incompetent and just dolled out pain pills for a year! hehe I was blessed to find a better doc and blessed to get the surgery done as soon as I am. Amen!
Thanks sista!
Mary, here's a hug right backatchya! Thanks for being here and I wish ALL the sisters nothing but the best. I will cast ALL my cares on Him, and it will be ok. I may lie low after tonight to prepare myself mentally and physically for Thursday.
Bless y'all for being you and thanks so much for the support, it means more than you'll ever know. s galore!
Samantha
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02-15-2005, 11:51 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 35
Hysterectomy: January 21st, 2005
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Undecided
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Been There Done that!
I am 3 weeks post op. And I sounded just like you when I was pre op, no one in my family could help me, they have never been thru this and of course dh doesnt understand. I took all the sisters advice, got some ambian, didnt work, I just had to mourn! You are going to be going thru a life altering surgery. You are allowed this time to be scared, angry, sad, and p off.
I think you need to go thru those processes in order to come to acceptance. Just ask those around you to hold your hand and let you cry. Please remember that you will find a peace soon! That is what I used to pray for every day, all day! God Grant me the peace that passes all understanding!
I also found ways to not totally dwell on the upcoming. I shopped for candles, a bed tray, lots of new jammies, crossword puzzels, word searchs, books and what not. I also got a new cd for the player so that in the palace I could lay and listen to it. I picked up some spray baby oil, you get dry, a new makeup bag to put my tissues, chapstick, deoderant, hand lotion and what not in. I did this on the last two days before I had my surgery, it helped keep me busy, and I am not a splurger so that helped a bit too. I also made my bedroom up the way I wanted it with my candles and photos so when I came home I would feel so comfie, I do recommend you go to a sams club, or the equivalent to and get yourself some 600 thread count sheets, this was my ultimate splurge and became my goal, getting home and sliding into my bed.
Alls I am trying to say is pass the time doing things for you. You can cry all the way thru the store, trust me, no one will bother you! It is time for you, pamper yourself, get the pampering supplies, email everyone your favoraite flowers so they will arrive for you also.
This was my saving grace, I received a post similar to this one when I wrote one similar to yours. It helped me, maybe it will help you!
I hope so, I will pray for you!
Jill
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02-15-2005, 09:50 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 499
Hysterectomy: March 7th, 2005
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Hoping last vent
Hi! Hope you're feeling well and healing nicely. Did you sound so anxious? I have my family's support, dad is coming to visit tomorrow afternoon, and mom and sisters are so helpful. My sis just brought me home some more popscicles, bless her heart.
I tried Ambien, didn't help me either. Thanks for your post, at this point, I'm just saying whatever happens, happens it's ALL in God's hands.
You sound like you're talking about the process of grief Elizabeth Kubler - Ross:-) My mother keeps telling me to cry, but I am a big girl here hehe Such pride huh...thanks so much for that prayer, that's precious, and so helpful.
Trying to keep busy, just feel like sorry TMI, but true. I have candles and room sprays all over my room, lavendar is heavenly. I always try to keep it smelling good. All the photos of my friends help too, and Shiloh, my pup. I almost got the 600 thread count sheets today, but opted for 60/40 instead, I am now broke lol I walk out in my pj's to get the mail, and go to the store with sleep in my eyes and sunglasses on, hear you.
thank you so much, and soon I will be able to help other sisters survive similar things that I will. I really appreciate your post. Thank you.
Take care.
Samantha
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