LAVH: "Sex after hysterectomy"????

Can anyone tell me what sex is like after a hyst? I've been told so many war stories that it doesn't feel the same, and that women can't reach their sexual peak anymore.....I really hate to get so personal, but I really don't want that part of my marriage to change. Any other pre-op sisters worried about that too, and can any of you post-op sisters relieve our fears of this matter???

Hello Hair Docta....I had a SAH and kept my ovaries....I am only having some minor problems in the sex area...it does take me longer to reach the "O" than before. But I get there...and hubs don't mind a bit that we play around longer. Some women do have problems....but alot of us don't. Take care and good luck

You know, it never even occurred to me that sex would be any different at all until I read a bunch of posts on this forum. I LOVE this forum but the down side is it can create fears that were never there before. A lot of the sex act involves the brain. If you are terrified that its going to feel different, that its going to be hard to orgasm, that its goin to hurt, etc.you will be nervous, tense and not into it and it will affect the experience. Before reading the horror stories I only knew that 5 women I know personally that had full hysterectomies and kept their ovaries had NO problems at all. It didn't feel different, they didn't have any issues reaching orgasm, and all said sex was the same or better not having the bleeding and pain issues running their lives. The only time I have known anyone to have real problems was when one gal had her ovaries removed and her libido went down until she got a good balance of hormones. Please be aware that many people only post when they are having a problem. The happy ones are too busy enjoying themselves (wink wink!) And most are still recovering and expecting their bodies to leap into exstacy too soon. No worries, when you are totally healed it will get back to normal and maybe even better!! Best of luck to you!

I don't have any personal experiences on this yet being only 12 days post SAH, but I did speak to a neighbor who had a TAH with ovary removal about 15 years ago. And she said that her sex-life has actually improved as she is released from the concern of pregnancy. She did mention that the first time after surgery that she physically felt that her husband came up against a wall but that with time it passed and that sex is as good as ever.

(((Hair Docta))) have you talked with your doctor about this worry?

As you've no doubt read, there is a wide range of possible outcomes when it comes to sex after a hysterectomy, so none of us here can tell you that you will definitely have problems or will definitely not have problems with sex post - op. Many women find that sex is better after a hysterectomy, especially those for whom sex was difficult or painful pre-surgery; however, some women find that libido and/or response suffers, or sex is difficult or painful after surgery when it wasn't before.

One factor that can influence the outcome is whether or not you keep your ovaries, or if you do keep them, whether or not they continue to work - there are no guarantees there. HRT can theoretically restore libido if it's due to lack of testosterone because the ovaries are either removed or not functioning, but (1) some doctors refuse to prescribe testosterone for women; (2) some women are not prescribed HRT after their surgery, depending on their family history and individual medical history; and (3) sometimes the low libido is due to other factors, not lack of testosterone.

Some women find that orgasms are more difficult to attain or take longer to reach or don't have the same intensity as before. I found that to be the case at first, although it improved greatly with time.

Some women experience irreversible nerve or tissue damage during or because of surgery and are never able to experience pleasurable intercourse again. This is of course a very rare occurrence, but I mention it because it's important that you know that it's a possibility. We have had women posting in our Sexual Dysfunction forum who have had this happen to them, and it's no consolation to them that it was very unlikely to occur.

A positive attitude is a wonderful thing, and can definitely help, but the fact is that sometimes bad things happen to positive people. There is something to the notion that if you're afraid it won't be good, you're likely to tense up, so anticipating a good experience would be a great idea. However, the fact is that many women find their first sexual experiences post-surgery to be less than great, and this often (but not always) improves with time. Many women will need to use a lubricant, even if they did not before, and many need to use a vaginal estrogen product to keep the vaginal walls moist and elastic so that penetration can be comfortable.

I would urge you to have a conversation with your DR before the surgery to express your concerns and hear what the DR thinks, both about the likelihood of difficulties with sex post op and also what he/she would do should you encounter problems. I hope you have a great experience, but if you don't, take heart in the knowledge that it is likely to improve with time, and if it doesn't, that we do have a forum where you can get support and ideas to try, once you're past the initial recovery period of six months.

Best of luck with your surgery!

s,
-Linda

I waited until my 11th week to have sex for the first time because I wanted to make sure I was not only physically ready but mentally ready too. I am glad we waited & I can tell you for me everything is fine. The first few times it is hard to relax all the way but it gets better & can turn out to be great. You do hear a lot of scary stories here. That is why I come back to post that everything can turn out just fine. Best wishes.

Seabutterfly - thank you for the positive post. When someone is panicky, listing every possible bad effect only adds fuel to the fire of the panic. I was a victim of panic attacks and I now counsel those who have them. We need to keep it positive rather than planting seeds of doubt with too detailed accounts of things that can go wrong. IF there is an issue it can be dealt with at that time but a panicky person can physically create issues that wouldn't have been there otherwise. Sex after hysterectomy is great & better for many many women, let's not worry until we actually have something to worry about. Hugs to all!!

Very welcome. I didn't have this site before my surgery & in a way I am glad I didn't because I can be a hypochondriac & if I had read all that can go wrong I would have never had the surgery. But since I have had it & I am doing great I think it is very important for people to know that. It is hard not to worry but I agree we should not make problems where there are not any yet & may never be.

I am just over 6 weeks Post-Op & I got to have intercourse for the first time yesterday & everything worked just GREAT. My DH is very patient & loving and we took everything very slowly. We also used a "thingy" to test the waters & stretch me out a little on Friday & before we actually tried it yesterday. I highly recommend the new glass ones - they are medical grade (like pyrex), can be perfectly smooth so you get less undesirable friction, are easily sanitized, etc. They are expensive, but definitely worth it. It really helped us both to feel more ready to try since it fit & didn't tear anything. I had no bleeding at all during or after.

We've experimented with other ways to pleasure each other since the surgery, so I've had several O's so far & they have each been as different as my Pre-Op O's were. I've found that some of what I thought were uterine contractions are actually other pelvic muscles contracting & as I get stronger (I had a bikini cut incision), those feelings are getting stronger, too. The first O after surgery, when I was cleared by the Dr after 2 weeks, was the BEST I've had in years. Not being allowed to have one for a while makes the first one even better!

I was also concerned about "shortening", but I almost feel longer since the cervix is out of the way now. I never found cervical stimulation very pleasant, so I'm glad it's gone.

If you are sexually responsive before your surgery, you will very probably continue to be after your surgery. So much of it is mental & your comfort level with your partner.

I don't have my surgery until 8/24 but I am hoping to get my sex ife back. It hurts now sometimes and my husband is afraid to hurt me so our sex life has definetly been effected. Talk to your doctor, you will feel better. Go luck and lots of hugs!